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THE WORLD THROUGH MY EYES

You may see things differently, but this is how I view my life.

3/25/2003

I really need to vent right now. Lately it seems as though everything that could come up, is. And I guess one of my bigger stresses is that I'm feeling bad about keeping my kids away from my ex. I just don't feel as though he deserves to be with them as much since he's not helping out in any way and he's a total loser. He is their dad after all and it takes more to be a parent than just spending time with them. Which is about all he does since he has nothing but time on his hands. I, on the other hand, come to work like everbody else, and earn my living. I work for my money. People that can't go out and find their own jobs and do something to help contribute to society really piss me off. Why the hell should I get up every day and come to work when I could sit at home, collect a check that I didn't earn, and spend some quality time with my kids. They are only kids once. They grow up and become adults. I just hope that I can teach them (by example) that to feel good about yourself and for others to feel good about you, people need to work. If you don't work, you put an added burden on the people that do work, because we all of us working people get taxed to help support the lazy people of the world. Now don't get me wrong, I know there are instances where some people are incapable of working. I'm not talking about them. I'm talking about most of the people on welfare or people like my ex.

My ex has placed a huge burden on me by not helping me out in any way, running up my cell phone bill, and not contributing to the well-being of our children by providing medical insurance or helping out with the daily expenses of having children. I know he is capable of making almost tripple of what I do and in his line of work he had excellent health coverage. I'm sure he's got to be a burden on his parents as well, since they are the ones who are supporting him. But I think of them as being co-dependant for continuing to help him, instead of making him responsible for his own actions and having him deal with his own shit.

Loser is a good dad in a few ways, he does love his kids and I know that he will never abandon them like some dad's do. And of course, my kids love their dad. They have fun with him. But it takes more to being a parent than that. A LOT more.

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