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THE WORLD THROUGH MY EYES

You may see things differently, but this is how I view my life.

4/30/2003

Don't let me drive YOUR car


I've been in 3 car accidents and have managed to total all 3. And guess what? None of the cars were mine. In fact 2 were my dad's. My first accident was my fault (kind of).



Accident #1

It was December of 1993 and it had rained earlier that day. I was driving down hill on a windy road at about 2 a.m. coming home from my boyfriend's house. (Which later became my husband, then ex husband). I approached a curve that had quite a steep decline and I went to brake. As I applied the brakes, I lost control of the car and it hit the curb on the other side of the road. I was going about 50 mph when I hit the curb so it buckled the drivers side front tire under the car and totally bent the frame. I came out of the accident just fine. But my poor dad was so upset since this car was his baby. The car was an 1988 Chrysler Lebaron Turbo Coupe. It was a nice car. My dad had just done a bunch of work to the car and had a fresh paint job done a few months earlier. It was paid off and he planned on keeping it for a long time. The police said that I was going to fast for the road conditions, so I was at fault even though I hit black ice. (It's funny every time I tell this story, people think I say I hit Black Guys.)



Accident #2

About 6 months after accident #1, I had my second accident. I was driving my husband to work in his car. I was 5 months pregnant at the time. I was on the same road as the first accident but on a different part. Well, there are homes right off this road. Their driveways bring them to the road. Some of their driveways are at the end of a blind curve. Well, I came upon one of these blind curves and low and behold, this lady was stopped in my lane looking the opposite direction putting on her seatbelt. She had her 2 children in the car with her. This road is 2 lanes and if I would of swerved around her, I could of either hit someone head on or over swerved and went off the cliff that was on the other side of the road. So I just ran right into her. I was going about 30 by the time I braked and ran into her. I got a pretty good case of whiplash from this accident and was in therapy for a few months. I received $15,000 from this accident and got $5,000 after paying the attorney and the doctor their share.



Accident #3

This accident happened during my first week of starting my job. I was going to buy my dad's Nissan truck for about $1,800. It was a great deal since it was worth about $3,000. My dad was letting me drive it since my husband's truck was having problems and we needed another vehicle. I had just picked up my kids from my parents house after work and was on my way home. I was on another 2 lane road (I know I should stay away from 2 lane roads) when this truck was coming from the opposite direction made a turn right in front of me. It looked like he was going to pull into a driveway, but there was no driveway where he was turning, just curb. I didn't have time to do much other than try to turn left to avoid hitting him. But there wasn't enough time so I hit the back of his truck with the front passengers side of my dad's truck. They found the other guy completely at fault. It turns out that his hat had dropped over to the floor of the passenger’s side and he bent down to get it, while turning the truck in the same direction at the same time. STUPID IDIOT! The insurance company totaled my dad's truck and gave him about 3 grand for it plus they gave him the truck back and he sold that for $800 to my sisters boyfriend. He totally made out! I told my dad that he should kick back some of that money to me. I did do all the work after all.

Comments

Ok. You may have noticed that I was attempting to get a new blog design. But I give up. It wasn't working for me. I'm somewhat HTML literate. But only to an extent. And since I'm not paying for this blog, I had find a server to host free images for me and call up the images from that server to my blog. Well, I was somewhat successful in doing so, but with the exception I couldn't call up the background images. I don't know what to do. So I think that I'll just forget about it for now until I decided to pay for this service where Blogger can host the images for me. That might be a little easier to do. And now I'm in the process of trying to get all my stuff back into the template. I'm telling you, I've learned a lot about HTML doing these things.

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4/29/2003

Make Love Not War

Moving is a very stressful thing. Especially when you're combining 2 households into 1 house. You tend to get on each other’s nerves after working all day then coming home and working even harder than you did at your job. My job is not physically demanding. Jerry's job is somewhat physically demanding, but he has to get up so damn early in the morning. So combine the fact that he's up at 5 am, drives over an hour one way to work, works a 10 1/2 hour shift, then drives over an hour to come home, well let's just say it's understandable that he wouldn't be in the best of moods by the time he gets home. And him being in a bad mood, puts me in a bad mood. I tend to take everything VERY personally and I get VERY defensive. I would even say I'm even bitchy. So combine all these factors with a huge mess and lifting, moving disassembling and reassembling heavy furniture, there tends to be a little yelling back and forth. One of my biggest faults is that I do not know how to end an argument. I have a hard time being nice after fighting. And you could of cut the tension that was in the air with a knife. Well last night, I sucked it up and said 3 magical words "I love you" and then gave him a kiss and a hug. This worked wonders. I was very proud of myself since this is totally out of my character. We worked well together for the rest of the night and somehow found the energy to show how much we really love each other before going to sleep.

4/28/2003

Ok...here's my usual weekend update


I moved in with Jerry. And my legs are now sore.

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Fowl Smells


Ok before I get started with my story, I need to tell you some background first. Before I got the job I have today, I used to run my dad's business. His company was self-supporting, but didn't make enough money for him to pay is everyday bills. So he worked in Irvine for another software company. I worked for my dad from about Jan 1999 to Jan 2001. I had my son in October 1998. When I went to work for my dad, my son was 3 months old. I made my own hours, worked out of my dad's home and got to have my son there with me. It was a perfect situation. Ok now on with the story.....

My parents’ neighborhood is infested with pigeons. We call them flying rats. They are a major nuisance and cause a lot of damage to the homes in the neighborhood. I was working at my parents home when I started hearing a scratching sound. I called my mom over to have her listen. She immediately blew it off, saying that it was the pigeons and they must be scratching on the skylight. Well, the scratching noise continued off and on for about a week when we started to investigate the sound a little more. The noise was driving us crazy.

It took about 2 weeks for us to figure out where the scratching was coming from when there was a "fowl" smell protruding out from my parents’ bedroom. (No pun intended). It was a really horrible smell that filled the entire house. We realized that it was coming from the wall. My sister's boyfriend (at that time) volunteered to do a little more investigating. He put a hole in the wall and the smell got worse. As he opened the wall, there stacked on top of each other were 7 pigeons. The pigeons that were on the bottom of the pile were all white, from being shit on for weeks. Not only were there 7 dead pigeons, but they decided to build nests in this area as well. And yes, there were eggs in the nests. Now how did they get in there? I guess there was a gap in the wall from underneath the eves of the house and they were able to squeeze through and get into the wall.

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4/25/2003

Bad Luck Friday's?

I sure hope my bad Monday's aren't becoming bad Friday's. There was a pattern of really bad Monday's. But now I'm beginning to wonder if it's now changed to Friday's. Read below to find out how bad my last Friday was. Now this Friday is starting out not-so-good. So far Jerry didn't like my dress that I put on to wear to work. I didn't have time to change because I was already running late. Then I typed the entire Club Email. I almost had it completed with the exception of a few coupons that I needed to get from some stores. Well, I had something to put in the June email and I use the same format month after month. So I did a Save As for my May email and saved it for June. Then in the June email, I deleted everything I wrote for May. Are ya following me? Then I proceeded to close out Word. Not realizing that I didn't save May. So I lost EVERYTHING! And I have to re-type the May Email now. CRAP! It's only 10:30.... what else can go wrong?

4/24/2003

Here's the blog I didn't put for last Friday


Even though the calendar said Friday, it felt more like one of my typical Monday's. Thursday night, Jerry noticed that there was a full moon and said that it was supposed to be the worst time of the month for me (being an aries). (And no I didn't get my period.) So he said that he likes to go against superstitions like that. Well, some things you have no control over. Last Friday turned out to be even shittier than the typical Monday.

I had to go to court that day. The papers that I was served said to be in San Bernardino @ 1:30 pm. I forgot that said what courtroom to show up in. We go and ask somewhere where we should go. Well, it turned out that they had incorrect info on my paperwork. I was supposed to be in Banning (Not San Bernardino) at 1:30. We asked the clerk to call the Banning court so that they know what happened. The lady called Banning and was told by them that my court date wasn't until Tuesday, April 22nd @ 1:30. I totally wasted hours out of my day for nothing.

Earlier, Jerry had met me at work at noon to go to court with me. Afterwards, I was following him home. I got stuck at the light after he had gotten on the freeway so that put me a few minutes behind him. I was driving on the freeway in very heavy traffic for a Friday at 2:00 and was thinking that there must of been an accident for traffic to suck so bad. Just as I finished my thought, I noticed an accident pulled over to the median. It was Jerry. He had been hit from behind by some kid who wasn't paying attention. I got off at the next exit and went back around to the accident to see if he was ok. Luckily he was fine. A little sore, but ok. After we were finished doing all the boring things you do after you get involved in a car accident, we parked his Jeep in a lot near by and I took him to the hospital to get checked out. 4 hours later, he was released with some prescriptions for his muscles and pain. I took him back to his Jeep, he limped it home. I went and picked up the kids from my parents house and finally made it home around 9:30. What a long, tiring, hell-of-a-day!

Why do marriages fail?

I come to realize why most relationships fall apart. But I don't know why nor do I understand why we start to disrespect our partners with disrespectful actions and words. There had to be something there in the beginning of the relationship to make us fall in love with each other. If you truly love someone, why do we do things that would hurt the person we fell in love with? This doesn't only go for our mates; it also goes for family members and friends. Is being human REALLY an excuse? We choose our actions and our words. We have ultimate control over what we say and do. So, if we truly love someone, why do we do things to intentionally or even unintentionally hurt that person?

In the beginning of a relationship, we all put our best foot forward to win that person over. We do and say things to make them fall in love with us. We treat that person with every ounce of kindness and respect that we have in us. Why does that ever have to stop? Where does it go wrong to where we stop doing and saying kind things to each other? There HAD to be something there in the beginning for people to fall in love with each other enough to get married. Otherwise, we would just move on to the next person that catches our attention.

I had a conversation today with a friend about this subject. I know that they are both cheating on each other and this is what I came to realize: you fall in love with someone enough to spend the rest of your life with that person, then somewhere down the road things get so fucked up that you can't even stand to be around that person. One of you does something to hurt the other person, then the other person does something back to get even, then it keeps going on and on and you start blaming each other for all kinds of suff. That sucks! That's not what love is about.

There's a saying You hurt the ones you love. Why do we do that? Why does the betraying and lying ever have to start? I'm not proud that I'm divorced. I have 2 beautiful kids with my ex. Our kids are awesome! It sucks that we ever had to split up our family and now I only get to see my kids every other week. Obviously, I did love him at one point. But somewhere down the line things started to get messed up. I know our relationship was never perfect. But we did love each other. We wouldn't of been married for 9 years if we didn't love each other. I know being Young and Dumb was not the way to start out a marriage. We NEVER should of been married in the first place. I was WAY too young. And so was he. But still, we loved each other. I don't regret marrying him since we have our children and I wouldn't change that for anything. All I can do now is learn from experience, try not to make the same mistakes that I have in the past and give my new partner the utmost respect and love that I can possibly give.

4/23/2003

Girlfriend's Guide to Boyfriend's


This is the guide that all new girlfriends need to make their man happy. I don't know if one has been created yet. But these are things that girl's need to know to make their new man happy. If that's what you want to do. Now I'm not saying to wait on you man hand and foot. HELL NO. All you have to do is lie a little. But the thing is, he may think you're lying but won't be completely sure. Sometimes, he may know your lying, but he should also know that he shouldn't ask certain questions if he doesn't really want to know the answer.

Jerry and I started this at the beginning of our relationship because he would ask me certain questions, and I would answer him truthfully. But he said that I should of just lied about it and obviously I've never read The Handbook. He said that new girlfriends need to stroke their boyfriends ego a little. Even if it means to tell a little white lie. Here's an example:

Boyfriend: "Does your ex have a bigger penis than me?"
Girlfriend: "NO hunny, you have the biggest and most perfect penis I've ever seen!"
Boyfriend: "What page from the handbook did you get that one out of?"
Girlfriend: "Page 39."

See, it's that easy. Most guys have penis envy. They don't want to know that you've been with anyone bigger than them. Even if they have an idea, they certainly don't want to hear it come out of your mouth. This could cause major trauma to your relationship.

So to introduce the handbook to your boyfriend, just wait for him to ask a stupid question about if he's bigger or better or anything like that compared to your ex. Then you tell him what HE wants to hear and say that you got that out of the "Girlfriends Guide to Boyfriend's".

4/22/2003

One of Life's Simple Lessons Learned



I know I haven't been blogging lately. Well, I'm a busy girl. I have a story about Friday already written out on a paper towel while I was waiting for Jerry in the hospital. He got into a car accident Friday. He's OK....just went to get checked out since he was a little sore. So that story to come at a later date.

Overall I had a great Easter. Saturday was spent trying to get a rental car and things taken care of from Jerry's accident. A little piece of advise from anyone who ever needs a rental car. Don't trust the 800 number that you call if they tell you that there is a car available at your requested rental location. Call the actual rental location to verify that they have the car there before you go down there. I called Budget around 11:00 am on Saturday. His words to me were "A Ford Focus or comparable". Now I have never rented a car before. So I didn't realize that the people at the 800 number really didn't know shit about what cars are at their rental locations. You would think that with today’s technology, they would have a list of the cars and all the info about the cars they have available. Well folks, they obviously don't. We got to Budget around 3:30 to pick up the Ford Focus that they had said they had available. Guess what? They didn't have a Ford Focus available. Nor did they have anything comparable. All they had on their lot was mid sized sedans and SUV's. We need something economical since I drive approximately 60 miles a day or more (if I have the kids that week, add another 30 miles) and Jerry drives over 100 miles a day back and forth to work. So, we left with out a car and was told that they would have several coming back the next day and that they would give us a call when they get one. We tried calling other rental companies after we left Budget, but everything was closed so going with Budget was our only option. We were so pissed that we had to leave without a car. We drove 20 miles to Redlands to pick up this car and it was total bull shit that Budget didn't have a car for us after I called and they said "Ford Focus or comparable" and gave me a confirmation number. GRRRRR!

Sunday morning, I called Budget's 800 number back to complain about what had happened and how inconvenienced we were. That got us no where, and the guy went on to reserve us another "Ford Focus or comparable" car. I asked him if he knew FOR SURE that they had that car waiting for us. He said he did not. So I said "how can you confirm that they have that car for us?" He told me that I'd have to call the store it's self to make sure they had the car available. Idiot’s! How the hell can they give me a CONFIRMATION NUMBER without actually confirming that the car is available? Here is the definition of the word CONFIRM:

To support or establish the certainty or validity of; verify.
To make firmer; strengthen: Working on the campaign confirmed her intention to go into politics.
To make valid or binding by a formal or legal act; ratify.
To administer the religious rite of confirmation to.

I should call them up and tell them to give me their definition of the word confirm, because they obviously have no clue. They should call it the "Perhaps Number" or the "Uncertain Number" or even the "Possibly Number" instead of the "Confirmation Number".

4/18/2003

Last night we went to the Street Fair in Palm Springs. I couldn't believe how huge this Street Fair is! It was probably about 8 or more blocks long, filled with all sorts of vendors. We passed by a table for NA (Narcotics Anonymous). I told Jerry, "No who the hell would stop at that table?" "Uh...Hi! Yah.I'm a drug addict and I need some help. " I mean...it's not like the table with a big ass N A is in a private location. I mean thousands of people probably passed by it that night. And you know that the ladies sitting behind the table were former drug addicts themselves. I guess they figured that if the person showed up to the street fair all doped up, they wouldn't care if anybody saw them stopping at the NA table.

It's FRIDAY!!! Yippeee! We're still trying to figure out what we're doing for Easter Weekend. I have the kids this weekend, so we are definitely planning the weekend to be fun for the kids. We have a few offers, but haven't made any definite decisions. Another plus, I get off work at noon today and get paid for the entire day! Cool! So my plan for the rest of the afternoon is to go to the Hemet court and turn in the Proof of Service paper from when my ex was served on Monday. Then I will have to wait 30 days to see if he responds. I don't know if he realizes what it is since I haven't head anything from him. I wish I could take him to small claims court to get the money he owes me. But I don't think I can do that since we're still technically married until April 21st.

4/17/2003

It's Normal to be Dysfunctional


I don't have a lot of close friends. Just many acquaintances. I choose very carefully who I become close to. I've been stabbed in the back by many friends, so I'm careful about who gets close to me and who I tell things to. There is only 1 person who knows most of my dirt. That's my friend Carrie. And I'm probably the only person who knows most of her dirt. At least I think I am. Carrie lives in Vegas but we talk at least a few times a week. We've been friends since 10th grade and became very close right after High School. I was in her wedding. She would of been in mine but she was about to pop with her first born. My wedding was March 31, she gave birth April 6. A woman that far into her pregnancy doesn't really want to wear a bridesmaid dress, nor will she look very attractive in it. So as you can see we have been friends for a very long time. She is my oldest and closest friend. The only person I have kept in touch with since High School.

What makes us so close is that I know I can tell her ANYTHING, no matter how bad, and she will always be there to offer support, advise, comfort, or just listen. She does not judge me. She may not approve with what I'm doing, and tell me so. But, she will still be my friend. She gives me unconditional friendship. A friendship like this is very hard to come by. In our 13 years of being friends, there is not one time I can think of that she has ever stabbed me in the back. She takes my secrets to her grave. I trust her to no end.

I replicate to her the exact same kind of friendship. She called me yesterday and told me about things that she has been doing, that I don't approve of. But it doesn't matter what she's done, I will still be there for her. I will be there to listen to her, give her advise and hope that she takes it. If not, she will find out the hard way and I will still love her anyways. Sometimes we need to find out the hard way.

We humans are stupid creatures. We do things that we know is wrong with hopes that nobody finds out. You have to lie to cover it up. Then you lie to cover that up and so on and so on until you've lied so much you can't keep things straight, you eventually slip and your dirty little secret comes out. Then you're in a worse mess than you started with. But, we need to go through this in order to learn from our mistakes. And hopefully, we do learn from our mistakes and quit creating a deeper hole.

I'm writing about this because I am bothered by what she is doing. She even knows what she is doing is wrong, but she can't help it. I also understand what she is going through. I've been there, done that. I know enough to give her some good advice based upon personal experience. Thing is...she's going to do what SHE wants to do and that's all right. I guess all I can do is be there for her and pray for her.

4/16/2003

One of my worst dates ever!


We all have had really bad dates I'm sure. I've had a few of them. But here's a story about my worst date ever!

I work for a mall as most of you know. Well, I was helping to organize a Read Across America event with the School District and Molina Healthcare Group was sponsoring the event. I had had a few meetings with people from both organizations about the logistics of the event. One of the guys representing Molina came to every meeting. His name is Juan. I typically don't date Hispanic guys. But he was always dressed very well, typically in a suit, he was cute and very nice. So at our last meeting for the event, everybody was telling each other Thank you for your help/support, Good Job, etc. Well Juan stands up and says to EVERYONE "I think April has done such an excellent job, that I should take her out for dinner to thank her for her efforts." I was speechless. I don't think I said a thing. I don't remember if anyone else said anything either. I just somehow blew it off. Well after the meeting, I went to make copies of something regarding the event. I was back at the copy machine for about 5 minutes. I thought everyone had left with the exception of the person I was making copies for. I walked back to my desk and Juan was there waiting for me. He said "I'm serious about taking you out for dinner." I might of replied with a "We'll see, I'm not sure right now."

Juan called me a few days later and asked me out again. So I thought to myself "Sure what the hell, it's a free dinner and he seems nice." So I agreed to Friday Night. He called me at work to tell me that there was a charity dinner that night for a girl who has terminal leukemia. He asked me if I would like to go make an appearance then we can do something afterwards. I thought to myself "Wow, what a nice guy." So I agreed. He was going to pick me up from work at 5. It was getting close to 5 and he called to tell me that traffic was REALLY bad and if I would meet him somewhere in Fontana (which is where the charity function was). So I agreed. I found the spot where we were going to meet and I waited for over 1/2 hour. He finally showed up and I got in his car and we stopped at the store to get a card to put money in that he collected for the girls family. (He earned back the points he lost for being late for this). We finally arrived to the restaurant and it was a total hole in the wall place in a bad neighborhood. The girls family was poor so that didn't matter. And sometimes those places have the best food. It turned out to be pretty cool. We stayed for a few hours, ate some great Mexican food, drank a few Corona's and listened to the mariachi band. Then we decided to leave and go to Dave N Busters.

The only pool table they had at Dave N Busters was a game called Snooker. Juan ordered us a few shots of Padron. Then a few more. I had already had 2 beers and 2 shots of Tequila so I had reached my limit. But he insisted on ordering more shots. When they arrived, I gave him mine. I wasn't about to do anymore shots. After all this WAS our first date and I was already buzzed. I had NO attraction for him, and he was starting to get on my nerves. So around Midnight I told him that I was tired and had a long drive home. My car was back in Fontana still. So he had to drive me back to get my car. Only we didn't make it out of the Parking lot! Juan stumbled to the car, got in, then tilted the seat all the way back into a lying position. He started to say that he was spinning. (Yes we all see where this story is leading to). Then he jumps out and runs behind the car parked next to us. I get out after waiting for a couple of minutes to see what the problem was. I had an idea what was wrong but I wasn't sure. I find Juan hurling in the planter. So I'm thinking to myself "Oh crap, I guess I have to drive." Then I realize that he is in NO shape to drive himself home from Fontana. He lives in the LA area. I ended up driving him all the way back to my place, which is 45 minutes from where we were at. Juan was completely passed out the entire time. We arrive at my place and I help him get out of the car and put him on the couch with a blanket and a pillow. Totally pissed! I woke up around 7:30 am to get a glass of water. He wakes up then apologizes and took me back to get my car and I NEVER went out with him again!

4/15/2003

Wine Me Dine Me... You know the rest


Friday night was the beginning of my Birthday weekend. I got home around 9 because I got my hair done after work. Finally, I don't have the white trash roots anymore or grown out highlights. It took 3 1/2 hours to get my hair done. So after I got home Jerry (yes I finally used his REAL name) asked me which I would prefer for my birthday, a weekend of wining and dining or would I like to get my windows on my car tinted. To me it was a NO brainer. A weekend of wining and dining of course. No cooking for an entire weekend...hell ya. And besides, that way I get to share my bday gift with Jerry too and I really needed to get away.

So on Friday night we went to a local Chinese Food place. They have AWESOME Chinese food. And the entire place is very authentic all the way down to the waiters. They can speak enough English to take your order and answer simple questions. But that's about it. We had a good laugh about our waiter calling our Won Ton soup Nuclear Won Ton soup. Just the way he said it was a crack up. Then we ordered Sweet and sour chicken and Kung Pow chicken..but on the menu it came with beef too. We requested all chicken. No beef. The waiter said in his authentic Chinese accent "Awwww you must like chicken!" We had a good laugh about that too. We finished off a large carafe of wine and went home and I passed out on top of Jerry.

Saturday we went to breakfast then tried to figure out what to do afterwards. The Riverside Orange Blossom Festival was going on and neither one of us had ever been, so we decided to go check it out. OMG talk about GHETTO Gang Banger central! Holy Shit! We walked around a little bit trying to give the place a chance. So we ordered a Funnel Cake and scarfed it down then got out of there. On the way home Jerry got a call on his boat that he has for sale and the guy came over to look at it. By then it was about 7:30 or 8 and I figured out what I wanted to do for the rest of the evening. I wanted to go to Downtown Disney. I love spontaneity. I love the fact that Jerry is spontaneous. (Note to self...add that on the list of things I love about Jerry) We called his mom and made plans to spend the night since we were going to go watch her sing for an Easter program that her church is putting on Sunday night. We drove to Downtown Disney, ate at the Jazz Kitchen which has excellent Cajun cuisine and a bottle of wine. Walked around a little, it was getting late, we were tired, so we went to Jerry's moms house and crashed.

Sunday morning we went to breakfast at Denny's, went to church with Jerry's sister and her boyfriend then headed out to Long Beach to look at the boat (again) that Jerry has a bid on and check out some other boats that just came in. Two of them were Ultra's, which is what Jerry REALLY wants. But they are so damn expensive. Then we went to lunch at Wahoo's and I wanted to go to the beach and hang out for a while but I needed different shoes. The ones I was wearing have a 4" heel and were killing me. So we found this great shoe place and Jerry bought me 3 pairs of shoes. We went to the pier at Newport Beach then took the fairy over to Balboa Island, drove around the island a little then went back to Jerry's moms to get ready to watch her sing. It was nice, just a little to traditional for my taste. We made as much fun out of it as humanly possible by making fun of the conductor. She made the funniest faces while conducting to the congregation. There we several times I had to look away or else I would burst out in laughter. After it was over, we grabbed some burgers and headed home. It was late and we were exhausted. We still had to stop at the grocery store since we were out of stuff for lunches. ICK! We ended up at home around 12 .. then got to bed around 12:30 am and woke up at 4:30 am. That's where my blog from yesterday picks up.

Yesterday may have started out crappy but it ended up pretty darn well. I went home at 12 and stopped by my apartment and got a few things to decorate J's house with and my T.V. to put in the bedroom. His T.V. for the bedroom is possessed. It turns on all by it's self. J and I finished cleaning the house then I went and got the kids. I missed them so much. It sucks going an entire week without them. My Mom and Sister came over around 5:30. Then my sister and I went to go serve my ex the amended divorce papers. BTW my divorce is final on April 21st! Yippeeee!

Oh...here's a funny story... We pull up to my ex's parent’s house (because that's where he's living) and she walks up to the house but chickens out because she doesn't want there to be animosity between her and my ex's mom. She really is a sweet lady. So my sister gets into the car and starts to fold up her umbrella and shakes it off outside while sitting in the car with the door open. Now remember it's been raining pretty much all day. So a car drives by and we just happened to be parked right next to a very large puddle. You can guess what happens next. That's right! Splashed her perfectly and totally soaked her and the drivers section of the car. Got all over the seat, steering wheel, even splashed up on the windshield. I was rolling! It was a scene right out of a movie. We ended up going back without serving my ex the papers.

We got back to the house and called J's friend's wife to see when he's going to be home. He wanted to the honors of serving my ex, but has been in Hawaii for business. (Must be nice huh!) But she offered to call her brother to see if he would do it and he wasn't home but she talked to his roommate and he said that he would do it! Finally! We've had these papers for a few weeks now and haven’t found anyone to serve him. Just because they are either too chicken shit or don't have the time or just don't want to get involved. I can't serve him personally and J is my boyfriend and he goes with me all the time to pick up the kids and doesn't want to create anymore friction than there already is. So check this out..heehee... J takes the guy over there to serve Loser, and Losers mom invites him in to the house and offers to have him sit down! ROFLMAO! He declines and says that he'll just stay there in the entryway. Joel comes out and BLAMO.. he's served! FINALLY! I was expecting a phone call from him asking me what the hell those papers are. But I never got one! I expect things are going to turn ugly now. I'm sure he'll contest the papers and then we can go to court.

After J came home, my dad was there and J told us the story about serving Loser. Then we ordered pizza. J picked up the pizza while I entertained my parents by showing them the pictures of stuff that we've done together. J came home, we ate then the moment came to where I finally got to see the mystery cake that J , the kids and my sister have put so much work into. I'm telling you. I have never had a better cake because so much love went into making this cake. He made me a chocolate chip cake with chocolate frosting and decorated in pink and white letters and flowers with 29 candles. It really did turn out cute. They sang me Happy Birthday then I got to open my presents. My kids got me a wall decoration with a birdhouse (I collect decorative birdhouses), some bath soaps and a "I Love You Mom" crystal. My sister gave me a "Free Lunch" coupon and a plant stand that looks like a bike with a pot on the back. It's really cute. My parents gave me some wheel covers (which I badly needed. My car has been missing one for over a year!) and a ceramic decorative birdhouse. My present from J was this past weekend of wining and dining, plus he got me 3 pairs of shoes, and a dozen roses. My weekend recap to come later. My fingers hurt from typing so much. I really did have a great birthday.

4/14/2003

Like I say every Monday, Monday's SUCK! I can't remember the last Monday where I actually had a good day. They start out shitty and end up shitty. And it just so happens, today is my birthday, and it's a Monday. Not only that, this is the last year I will be in my twenties. Just goes to show that this birthday is going to be shitty. It's already started out shitty, so I can only imagine what the rest of the day has in store. It's 9:52 am and this is what has happened so far:
Up at 4:30 am to help J. with his lunch. Then I cleaned the house for the rest of the morning. I totally busted my ass! Oh did I mention that it's raining today? Yes, that's right folks, it's Monday and it's raining. I got lucky on my drive to work since traffic was moving pretty quickly but i realized when I arrived to work that my umbrella is in the trunk of my car. And J. has been driving my car to work since it's cheaper on gas than anything he owns. So I had to walk all the way across the parking lot in the rain. I now look like a wet dog. My hair is now a total frizz ball.

4/11/2003

Well friends, Monday is my birthday. I will be one year from turning the dreaful 3 - 0 . How depressing. I only have one year of being in my twenties left! It will fly by so fast! Know what else is depressing? None of my friends or family have asked me what I want for my birthday? What's up with that??? Maybe they have something really cool already picked out for me. All I know is I have a few requests, but no body seems to give a shit what I want. So if anyone reading this would like to give me something for my birtday, here are few things that would cheer me up:

1.) Tiffany's Heart Tag Charm Bracelet with Tiffany's engraved on the tag. Don't worry it's not that expensive. I think it can be picked up for about $150. If you're feeling generous, I wouldn't mind the matching necklace ;-)
2.) Gift Certificates from Inland Center. You just can't go wrong with gift certificates.
3.) The new Linkin Park CD. I just love the 2 songs that they are playing on the radio. I want to hear the rest of it.
4.) Weights. I don't mean a huge weight set. Just some weights that range from 1 - 15 lbs. would be good.
5.) Hard Cold CASH. This is like gift certificates only better. Because I can spend it ANYWHERE!

That about sums it up. Nothing too expensive. J. and I might take a trip out to Catalina for the day tomorrow. We'll see. It might rain so that wouldn't work too well. But I sure as hell don't want to spend the day doing nothing. This is my Birthday weeked after all.

4/10/2003

See my other blog...good news!

Childhood Memories from Bakersfield


Our dog Spanky

Pool Parties in my backyard

Visiting my Granny in the hospital when she was dying from cancer

Playing the instruments from my dad's band in the garage

Playing baseball in the street with my friends from the neighborhood

Trying to hit the ball over the fence

Driving across town to go to school

Going to my moms work after school and being REALLY bored

The UGLY big white Station Wagon

My cousin living with us for about a year

Our cat Bandit

My cat Smokey

Planting strawberries in the planter by the pool

Setting fires in the playhouse

Climbing to the top of the fig tree

Falling in the V part of the Loquat Tree and hurting my privates

Riding my bike with friends all over the neighborhood

Getting FREE videos from the video store we lived behind

Going to Church with our neighbors

Finding our neighbor boy face down in the jacuzzi

Building a bike track in the back yard

Crawling under the house and mom yelling at us for being in there because there might be black widows down there

Free rollorskating parties with 10 friends almost every weekend for months!

Trying out for Cheerleading

Starting my period the night a friend spent the night

Playing in the Cotton Fields and the Hay Stacks at my Great Grandpa's farm

My Uncle Gary dying at the age of 35 from a heart attack

Thanksgiving Dinners at Grandma's

Dust Storms

Trying to save the baby birds that fell out of the Palm Trees

Putting on shows for my family on the "Stage" which was actually a hearth from the fireplace that was elevated about 2 feet.

Crying when we were leaving the house I grew up in to move to Yucaipa

4/09/2003

Yesterday something happened that I think is kind of a coincidence, I wrote a story about my best friend Carrie, then she called me to tell me that she was on her way out from Vegas because she had court today. I haven't seen her since February. So I thought that it was funny that I write a story about her and then she tells me she's on her way out and to see if she could stay with me. Cool huh? I met her at Fridays for a drink (of water with lemon). She had a Long Island :-( (not fair!). She also ordered Spinach Artichoke Dip. I held up with my will power and ordered a grilled chicken salad with low fat peppercorn ranch dressing. We headed home around 6 and then took a good walk together. (More exercise for me ;-) . J. came home late, but with presents! It was my ring! Plus a beautiful card that talked about how he looks forward to sharing his life with me and more mushy stuff like that, but I totally loved it! The ring is beautiful and looks good on my finger. It definitely makes a statement!

4/08/2003

I don't like writing about the war. But the fact is, our country is at war and pictures and acticles and media about the war is everywhere. We can't escape it. The only way to get away from it is to go hide in a hole somewhere and not come out until the war is over. Last night, watching the news coverage about the war made me think of one of the most disturbing movies I've ever seen. It's called Savior. Here's a discription of the movie.

There is so much to write about today, I don't even know where to start. I'm not a political person by any means. I think it's because I don't want to talk about something I really don't know much about. But, I have been disturbed by the war. If something disturbs me, I usually just don't want to know about it. It's kind of like meat. I'd rather not know or see how the animal is butchered. If I did, then I'd probably become a vegetarian like my sister. She's not a Vegan, where she doesn't eat ANY animal products, but she won't eat meat. I'm starting to feel the same way about the war. I was watching coverage on the war yesterday, and they talked about how a residential compound was bombed because they believed that Sudam was hiding out there. That disturbs me because I know that innocent lives had to have been lost. It also disturbs me that there is so many people injured that the hospitals can't keep up and that they stopped keeping track of how many people are there. Like Forrest Gump said.... "And that's all I have to say about that." On to happier things.

I have a rollerblading story that fits in with the present day since I started rollerblading after work and it's almost my birthday. Here's the story: It was my 24th Birthday and my best friend wanted to take me to the beach to go rollerblading. I grew up roller-skating, but have never put on a pair of roller blades ever! So we drive to Newport Beach and she rented a pair of roller blades for me. Rollerblading isn't a whole lot different than roller-skating with one MAJOR exception. I was used to toe stoppers. So of course, I totally eat it trying to stop since I go to drag my toe and there's a wheel there, not a brake. I learned real quick where the brakes were. Not that they really work all that well. So after crashing at first, we start down the beach. Newport Beach is really awesome for rollerblading since there is a sidewalk practically right next to the water and the sidewalk goes for a long time. We went up and down the beach all day. When we got hungry, instead of eating at a place on the beach, we had to cross a MAJOR intersection to go to Carl's Jr. That was scary! I knew I would totally eat it going across the street. Luckily I made it without falling in front of traffic. I'm sure I looked pretty dorky though. After lunch, we hit the sidewalk again and spent the rest of the day rollerblading. I think we did make a stop at a bar for a few beers ;-) But after that day, rollerblading became my new favorite activity. And there is nothing better than rollerblading at the beach. On our way home, we were driving through Redlands and saw the Bungee Swing right off the freeway at Pharaoh’s Lost Kingdom. Which at the time was a pretty new amusement park. So we decided to do it! It's not quite like Bungee Jumping, but similar. Instead of falling straight down, it lifts you way up and lets go so you free fall then swing up and fall backwards and over again until it loses momentum and stops. It was tons of fun. And here are 2 hot chicks just back from the beach wearing bikini tops and short shorts, so we talked the guys into letting us go one more time for free. ;-) I don't know if my best friend knows how much this day meant to me. It is definately one of my most memorable birthdays. Thank you Carrie!

The other story I wanted to write about was my house that I grew up in. As I've mentioned before, I grew up in Bakersfield, California. Home of Buck Owens and Merle Haggard. (They are old famous country singers.) I grew up in a 3-bedroom house on a third of an acre. To me, the house was pretty large. It was a one-story home and probably about 2,200 square feet. Now the way the house was set up was PERFECT for entertaining. I just wish we lived there when I was a teenager and my sister and I threw our parties. The den area could be blocked off from the rest of the house. There was a bathroom and a bar in the room and a sliding glass door that went out into a very large covered patio where my parents had a fridge. Next to the patio was the gated pool area. There was also a path from the patio that led to the large back yard where we had a volleyball net set up. We always played volleyball or badminton. My room was located on the other side of the house. My window faced the side yard where there was a gate that led out into the front. This was great when I had friends over and we would sneak out and go toilet papering. I know, I'm bad. I also have a story about that too. I'll save it for another time. Our house was the house all the kids in the neighborhood came to play. I miss that house.

I did pretty good yesterday on my diet and exercise. Click here to see what I did

4/07/2003

I started a new blog to track my daily exercise and dieting. I have set goals and an action plan. I also have a reward system for acomplishing these goals. I plan to weigh 110 by July 12. I think I look best at this weight. I look thin but not too thin, I still look healthy. I'm going to take before, during and after pictures to help see my progress. Plus, these before pictures will make me not ever want to go there again. So friends, please stop telling me that I look good. I'm 5' 0" and I weigh 133 lbs. That does not look good. I am 16 lbs over my suggested ideal weight and my goal is to lose 23 lbs by July 12. Here is a link to my new blog.

My weekend: (Usual Monday posting)
Friday Night: Made a pizza for dinner, pulled out the hide-a-bed from the couch and watched a movie with the kids.
Saturday: The kids were in a fashion show here at the mall. They both did great! My son was still the crowd pleaser. After the show, we dragged the kids with us to Long Beach to check out the boat J. has a bid on. It's a beautiful boat. There are a few problems with it, because it's a bank repo and the previous owner pulled out the stereo, speakers, the propeller, and a few other things. But It's been fired up and they said that it has a real strong motor. The boat is a '98 Galaxy with a 454? something like that. It's white with pink, purple and blue graphics. J. had put a bid on it for 13K. Were hoping that the bank either accepts his bid, or comes back with a counter offer of no more than 16. J. would be practically stealing the boat for that price since it was probably a $30,000 boat brand new.

After we got done checking out the boat, and J quit picking it apart, we went to look for a ring for me for my bday. J wanted to get me a promise ring. We found one and it's beautiful. I'm not into big rings. I like simplicity. This one is stylish but simple. Plus it's white gold. I love white gold. J. is against anything other than yellow gold for a ring. But I told him that all my jewelry is either white gold or silver and a yellow gold ring wouldn't look right. He says that it would stand out more. I say it wouldn't match. Guess who won that argument? (Not that it's really an argument, but you get my point). The ring should be ready to pick up tomorrow. I can't wait to wear it!

After we got done with the ring, we went to my parents house. My grandparents were visiting from Bakersfield. J. got to meet them for the first time. Gma and Gpa seemed to really like him. When it was time to leave, Gpa wouldn't stop talking to him. I had to practically drag J. out of the house. We had a long day with the kids and I was exhausted. Taking the kids to the fashion show, the boat place, the mall, then to my parent’s house was exhausting. We were in the car for a good 5 hours that day! Plus, J's daughter and boyfriend came to spend the night Saturday Night since we were getting up early on Sunday to take the boat out to the lake. No not the new boat, J's old boat. (He's trying to sell it.)

We were totally exhausted going to bed on Saturday night from the long day and the long evening. J's daughter showed up around 12 or 1. I'm not 100% sure what time since we were sleeping. All I know is that it felt like I only got a few hours of sleep. And my son also woke up in the middle of the night complaining that his tooth hurt. J. got up first (while I was getting dressed) and tried to comfort him. It made me so happy that J. is like that. He really is great and such a big help to me with the kids. It's not easy being a single mom and J. really is great with the kids. I came in the room and J. went back to bed while I attended to my son. I ended up falling a sleep with C. hold and comforting him until he went back to sleep. I also gave him some pain reliever to help with his tooth.

Sunday: We got up at 6:30 to get ready to go to the lake. We were on the water by 9. J. was expecting it to be really crowed since it's the beginning of the season. Luckily, we were able to launch the boat with out any waiting, and we found a spot on the island to hang out at that has a table and bbq. We just basically watched the kids play, watched the other boats cruise by and had a somewhat relaxing day. Going out there is a lot of work though. And loading everything up and unpacking is also a lot of work. J. and I really wanted to take a nap. But we still had to go to the grocery store to buy stuff to make Taco's. J. makes the BEST tacos with churrizo and ground beef. (I know fattening!) But OMG, they are awesome! We ate dinner late too. Everyone, but me (knock on wood) is getting sick. J, Bre and C all have colds. I've been lucky enough to have not caught it yet. I'll probably be eating these words in a week.

Monday: Yes, the dreaded MONDAY! Like I say every Monday, I HATE MONDAYS. But today, I actually had a better morning than most Mondays. I did get to work late (as usual), but not too late, and when I arrived, the only person here was our accountant. Very unusual. I dropped the kids off with their dad this morning :-( so I won't have them until next Monday (which happens to be my birthday). It's going to be kind of nice to have a break from the kids. But I'd rather not have the break. I'm going to miss them. J says that he really enjoys being a daddy, (even though they aren't his kids). J. would like to have them around on a full time basis, as would I. But the kids really need to see their dad too.

4/04/2003

Lord give me the strength to stop eating these Chocolate Chip cookies that are sitting here on my desk.

AMEN

Now that I got that out of the way. I might of mentioned somewhere that one of my best friends is the manager at Mrs. Fields Cookies. Well today she "burned" 2 batches of nibblers. One of the batches happens to be Chocolate Chip. So, thinking that I might have enough will power, I aked her if I could take the cookies home to J. and the kids. Her definition of "burned" isn't MY definition of burned. In fact, the cookies aren't even CLOSE to being burned. She just over cooked them a little (to Mrs. Fields Standards) and they are just crispy. They aren't burned. So now I have 2 bags of Mrs. Fields cookies sitting on my desk. And I think that I've ate about 6 or 7 nibblers. I tapped up the bags, thinking that would stop me! Yah right! My intentions are good.

I did it again! I freakin rinsed my contact lens with the Disinfectant vs. Saline Solution then proceeded to put the contact lens directly into my eye. Why is this a problem? Let me explain. I don't and can't use the Multi-purpose Solution for my contacts. I've probably tried every brand on the market. They all irritate my eyes terribly. The ONLY system I can use requires a daily cleaner made mostly from RUBBING ALCOHOL and a Disinfectant made from HYDROGEN PEROXIDE and a cup with a disk that somehow transforms these chemicals into Saline Solution after the lenses soak for 4 hours or more. Well, if you accidentally grab the wrong bottle to rinse the contacts before inserting them into you eyes, it can be EXTREMELY PAINFUL! I mean, burning your eyeballs painful. That's what I did this morning. I grabbed the Disinfectant instead of the Saline Solution, to rinse my contacts. Then I proceeded to insert the contact into my eye that has just been doused in HYDROGEN PEROXIDE. OWWWWWW! You know what sucks? This isn't the first time I've ever done that. Nor will it be the last (I can only imagine).

The very first time I tried using this system (as recommended by my Optometrist), I didn't buy the cup with the disk that transforms the alcohol and hydrogen peroxide into saline. I didn't realize how critically important this component was. So the first night using this system, I take my contacts out, rub the daily cleaner (made of mostly rubbing alcohol) then pour the disinfectant into the cups. The next morning, I put one contact into my eye. THE BURN! OMG! I don’t' think I've ever felt anything that painful before in my life! Giving birth (not that I had either one of my kids without drugs) wasn't even that painful. I'm sure if someone would of taken a dull knife and stabbed me in the eyes, there would of been less pain. And to make things worse, my eye wouldn't open to get the freaking thing out! I practically had to rip it out of my shut eye. After washing out my eye with water for about 20 minutes, I promptly called the Customer Service number from the box. I explained the step and almost threatened with a law suit. But as soon as I explained to her what happened, she then told me about the most important step that I hadn't done. That was that I NEEDED the cup with the disk. Here I was trying to save $7, thinking, oh I have something to put my contacts in, when I REALLY needed this stupid thing. That'll teach me not to be so damn cheap next time.

I'm praying that it rains tomorrow. J. wants to take the boat out and wants me in a bathing suit. I AM NOT going to wear a bathing suit in public looking like this. I don't own a one peice. I would feel more comfortable in a one peice. CRAP! It's too late to start the Hollywood Diet. It takes 48 hours and I only have 30 hours. Not that I could ever go on a diet like that. I love food too much. I just can't wait until Day Light Savings Time. Then I'll have more time to go rollorblading after work, or some kind of outdoor exercising.

It's Friday! Almost my favorite day of the week (which is Saturday). I took the day off yesterday for several reasons. For one, I was going to be REALLY late again. And if I'm late, I'm going to get written up. (Is written a word? Well, it is now!) Two, my son said his tummy hurt over and over and over again. He was crying and being uncooperative. Even though I REALLY didn't think his tummy hurt (which it didn't) I didn't want to take the chance that it REALLY did hurt. Three, I just got back a ton of pictures and I wanted to scan them in and post them in my Yahoo Breifcase. And my final reason for staying home was to spend some much needed time with the kids. Like I've mentioned before in earlier posts, I only get to see them a few hours a night and about an hour in the morning since I work. And the time that I do have with them is busy time. Not playing with them or watching TV with them or holding them. It's time spent doing daily life stuff like cooking, cleaning, laundry, getting ready for school, or bed. I was able to accomplish a ton of stuff yesterday and I feel good about it. I even took the kids shoe shopping! They were thrilled to get new shoes. I was thrilled to buy them for them. I had no idea how much my son had grown! His shoes were 2 sizes too small for him. He never complained that his feet hurt. And he has been able to slip his old shoes on and off with the laces still tied. I feel so horrible. But the kid never complained.

4/02/2003

Self Control is something I lack at times. Where can I find some? Enough said.

I think I finally figured out why I'm getting fatter. It's the pill. It's messing with my hormones and slowing down my metabloism therefore, making everything I eat, stick to my hips, stomach and thighs. The only good thing about me getting fat is that my boobs are big! I mean, they are falling out of my bra. I was an A cup six months ago. J. thinks that I'm almost a full C cup now. The last time I've had boobs this big I was either pregnant or breastfeeding. I refuse to buy new bras and I refuse to buy bigger clothes because that means that I'm comfortable with getting bigger. I sure as hell am NOT! I take off my clothes and look in the mirror and I'm disgusted with myself. I HATE the way my body looks. Granted that I've never really been thrilled with my body, but I've always looked good in clothes. And I looked decent in a bathing suit.

Spring is upon us, and J. is about to buy a new(er) boat and I look like shit. I am just going to have to go on some sort of starvation diet. I know these kind of diets are totally unhealty, but eating fruits, vegetables, low cal, low fat food and running on the treadmill just doesn't seem to do the trick. Ok I'm not 100% honest. I have cheated on my diet. I can't help it. I have the worst will power and self control when it comes to foods that I love. Yes, yesterday I had a chocolate dipped ice cream cone from Dairy Queen. I guess I should just quit my bitchen.

It's HUMP day! Yippee!

4/01/2003

Here’s a conversation I had with my 4 year old son yesterday morning:

Son: “Mommy, daddy taught me how to say bad words.”
Me: “Oh really, like what kind of bad words?”
Son: “Ummmm, like Stupid.”
Me: “Oh yah, any others?”
Son: “Fuck.”
Me “And daddy taught you to say these words?”
Son: “Yah, I can’t remember the other ones.”
Me: “You know, saying those words isn’t nice and it sounds bad.”
Son: “umm hmm”
Me: “And if I hear you saying those words in front of me, I’ll wash your mouth out with soap because they are dirty.”

So I proceed to call my EX who taught him these words.

And I say: “Our son tells me that you’ve been teaching him to say bad words.”
I then told him what my son said to me earlier.
Loser (laughing): “Well, he’s a boy and boys need to learn how to cuss.”
He then proceeds to ask our son if he told me about the cuss words that he taught him to say. I can hear my son in the background saying “yes.” Then Loser says to him “I told you to only say those words in front of daddy, you don’t say them in front of anybody else.”

I tell my ex that I told our son that if he says those words in front of me that I’m going to wash his mouth out with soap and it’s going to be all Losers fault. And I don’t approve of him teaching our son to talk like that. It doesn’t sound good. Our son is going to be starting school soon and he’ll be the one teaching all the other kids to cuss. Then I’m going to be the one who gets the phone call from the angry parent about what my son taught their kid.

Rather than focus and write about the things that I don’t like or bug me about my boyfriend, because they are really petty, I wanted to write a blog about the good things. I think everyone should do this for several reasons. I know that I tend to take the small things for granted. I don’t ever want to do that. I want to appreciate all the things he does for me big or small. I also want to have this so I can go back and look at it when I’m angry with him. So hun, if you read this and I left something out, just let me know and I’ll put it in for ya.

1. J. likes my kids.
2. He wants me to have them with us all the time.
3. He takes us to do fun things every weekend.
4. J. is fun.
5. J. loves me.
6. J. has a really cute butt.
7. J. is responsible.
8. J. thinks I’m beautiful.
9. J. tells me this all the time.
10. He is supportive.
11. J. cooks.
12. He cooks very well too!
13. J. keeps a neat house.
14. Sometimes too neat. But that’s ok.
15. J. is thoughtful.
16. J. likes my family and wants to do stuff with them.
17. J. manages his money very, very well.
18. He makes me feel good. VERY good ;-)
19. J. is affectionate.
20. J. wants to come home to me every night.
21. J. does laundry.
22. When J. isn’t working he does my laundry too!
23. When J. isn’t working, he always asks me if I need anything done while I’m at work.
24. J. has a great smile.
25. J. can fix just about anything!