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THE WORLD THROUGH MY EYES

You may see things differently, but this is how I view my life.

4/24/2003

Why do marriages fail?

I come to realize why most relationships fall apart. But I don't know why nor do I understand why we start to disrespect our partners with disrespectful actions and words. There had to be something there in the beginning of the relationship to make us fall in love with each other. If you truly love someone, why do we do things that would hurt the person we fell in love with? This doesn't only go for our mates; it also goes for family members and friends. Is being human REALLY an excuse? We choose our actions and our words. We have ultimate control over what we say and do. So, if we truly love someone, why do we do things to intentionally or even unintentionally hurt that person?

In the beginning of a relationship, we all put our best foot forward to win that person over. We do and say things to make them fall in love with us. We treat that person with every ounce of kindness and respect that we have in us. Why does that ever have to stop? Where does it go wrong to where we stop doing and saying kind things to each other? There HAD to be something there in the beginning for people to fall in love with each other enough to get married. Otherwise, we would just move on to the next person that catches our attention.

I had a conversation today with a friend about this subject. I know that they are both cheating on each other and this is what I came to realize: you fall in love with someone enough to spend the rest of your life with that person, then somewhere down the road things get so fucked up that you can't even stand to be around that person. One of you does something to hurt the other person, then the other person does something back to get even, then it keeps going on and on and you start blaming each other for all kinds of suff. That sucks! That's not what love is about.

There's a saying You hurt the ones you love. Why do we do that? Why does the betraying and lying ever have to start? I'm not proud that I'm divorced. I have 2 beautiful kids with my ex. Our kids are awesome! It sucks that we ever had to split up our family and now I only get to see my kids every other week. Obviously, I did love him at one point. But somewhere down the line things started to get messed up. I know our relationship was never perfect. But we did love each other. We wouldn't of been married for 9 years if we didn't love each other. I know being Young and Dumb was not the way to start out a marriage. We NEVER should of been married in the first place. I was WAY too young. And so was he. But still, we loved each other. I don't regret marrying him since we have our children and I wouldn't change that for anything. All I can do now is learn from experience, try not to make the same mistakes that I have in the past and give my new partner the utmost respect and love that I can possibly give.

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