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You may see things differently, but this is how I view my life.


The Chick Who Shit Her Pants

Here's the one you all have been waiting for.
Disclaimer:The following story is really gross and isn't intended for people who may have weak stomachs or those who are pregnant. The following is a true story so read at your own risk!

Now with that said, on with the story......

First I need to tell a little background to set up the story. I had just found out I was pregnant when my (ex)husband and I joined a pool league. Every Thursday we went down to the pool hall an hour before league started, to warm up. We were practicing with some friends and fellow teammates when this chick ran right past us with shit all down her pants and her leg. It was super obvious because she was wearing thin, pink, cotton pants. You know the ones with no pockets and elastic waste-band. You could see the shit all on her backside and down to her ankles. She had to run past us because the bathroom was on the other side of us.

Now I have to make a few things clear, I'm talking about someone in her early to mid twenties. This was a bar after all. And what is a pregnant woman (me) doing hanging out in a bar? Well, I love to play pool plus I would drink one O'Dools (since I couldn’t drink real beer) and then I’d drink water or Sprite (since it had no caffeine) for the rest of the night and this is California, so they don't allow smoking. Now that I got that out of the way.......

So she ran past us with shit up and down her leg, and the smell...well….. it smelled like shit! (duh) As soon as she ran past, I immediately started gagging. I knew that I was going to throw up, but I couldn't go into the bathroom because shit chick was in there. The bartender (who was also my friend) let me go into the office and she gave me a bowl to puke in.

The guy that was at the bar with shit chick, met her at the back door and took her home. Apparently, she thought that she was going to fart, but shit her pants instead! Could you imagine driving her home? EWWWWWWWW.


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