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You may see things differently, but this is how I view my life.


A Few Day's of Pleasure

I had a great weekend I must say. Saturday I went to the Renaissance Pleasure Faire with Jerry, my sister and her boyfriend. My sister's boyfriend says "A day of Boobs and Beer, what more could you ask for?" This was the first time Jerry or my sister have been to the faire. I got free tickets through my work, which saved us $74. But we spent at least that (if not more) in alcohol and food. We tried every kind of Cider they had. And I don't mean Apple Cider. I'm talkin the wine based cider that is really yummy and gives you a good buzz.

We went to a comedy show and saw some guy who calls himself Moonie. He was hysterical. He grabbed this guy who had a shaved head, goatee, tattoo's all over, missing teeth, etc. from the back and brought him and his "lady" (who was just as attractive) up to the front by grabbing his beer from the guys hand and placing it on the bench in the front row. Then he pulled this shady looking fellow up on stage with him and made the guy look like an idiot. Which wasn't hard to do btw.

After Moonie was done making a fool out of that guy, he scanned the audience for another "victim". I was sitting in the third row and I saw him glance at me. I knew he was going to pick me to get up on stage. And he did. I was totally buzzed by then. I was on my third cider drink.

Moonie has me stand next to him and he takes out a paper napkin and rips it in half. He hands me the other half and starts to roll up his half. Oh...one thing you should know about Moonie, he doesn't talk through the entire show. He whistles and points, so you have to figure out what the heck he wants you to do. I'm standing there like a dumb ass watching him roll up his half of the napkin so I figure I should probably do the same. As I'm rolling my part up, I notice that he is doing something else to the napkin, and making something out of it. I don't have skills like that, so I don't know what I'm going to do with my half. He made his half into a rose. It looked quite good. I see how great his rose looks so I decided that mine should be a joint. I put the rolled up napkin up to my lips and act as though I'm smoking a big ass fatty. The entire audience was rolling. I even made Moonie laugh.

Moonie then gets down on one knee and acts as though he is going to hand me the rose. As I go to grab it from him he pulls it back. He does this a few times then points to his cheek for a kiss. I go to kiss him on the cheek and he moves his head and smacks me right on the lips. It was kind of gross because he was all sweaty. I made a disgusted face, wiped off the kiss, grabbed the rose and ran off stage. I returned to my seat and Jerry, my sister and her boyfriend are in pain from laughing so hard. My sister had tears rolling down her face. I'll post the pictures when we get that roll of film developed.

We spent the rest of the day walking around looking at all the freaks. And I do mean FREAKS. I'm not so skinny anymore and there were girls much bigger than me wearing next to nothing. Rolls hanging out and all. So gross. There should be laws about that. They have noise pollution laws so there should be sight pollution laws. It's like walking graffiti. Any ways, enough about that....

After we dropped my sister and her boyfriend off, Jerry and I went to the mall and got matching cell phones. That's right people, I'm back with the times and now connected with the world again. We got the Motorola V60i flip phones. They are really nice. But it looks like me might take them back and cancel our service with Cingular because Cingular SUCKS. Jerry was with Verizon and I used to be with AT&T, we both had MUCH better coverage than we do with Cingular. They aren't as big of a company as Verizon or AT&T, so they don't have as many cell sights, which means, less coverage. We chose Cingular because they have the best plans and thought their service should be adequate. We were wrong.

After getting our phones, it was about 8 pm and I was starting to get hungry and hung over. Jerry took me out for Mexican food. I LOVE Mexican food. Jerry thought that since I'm getting a hangover that I needed another drink to cure the hangover. He ordered me a margarita with an extra shot of tequila. I ordered a glass of water. I couldn't drink the margarita. Normally I love margaritas, but I wasn't in the mood for anymore alcohol. Water and food was what I really needed.

While we were at the restaurant, I called my ex so I could say hi to my kids. (It was his weekend to have them.) He answered. I asked to talk to the kids and he asked me if I got his message. He had left one at the house saying that I could have the kids that night if I wanted since we were planning to get the early in the next morning for Mother's Day. I thought, "Wow, he's really being nice". Jerry paid the bill and we picked up the kids.

Mother's Day

Jerry took the kids and me to IHOP for breakfast. We had plans to go see his mom in Irvine afterwards, but she was feeling sick. We had gotten her a few things so we drove out there after breakfast anyways. Jerry wanted to check out the boat he's thinking about buying again. We did that first, then called his mom and she still wasn't up to seeing us, so we dropped the gifts off with Jerry's sister and came back to hang out with my mom.

We went to the grocery store to buy stuff to make my mom spaghetti for dinner. This isn't any ordinary spaghetti; this is Jerry's special spaghetti. It is AWESOME! We wanted to take my mom out to dinner, but the Grand Finale of Survivor was on that night and they had friends coming over to watch it with them. My mom loved the spaghetti and the gifts. Then we stayed and watched about an hour of the 3 hour Survivor episode. I'd get into my thoughts about Survivor more but shit, I've already written a book today, so maybe I'll get into it at a later date.


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