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You may see things differently, but this is how I view my life.


Really Bad Pickup Lines

Guy's, the following pickup lines are BAD. Do not use them in ANY circumstance. They will not get you a date in most cases. They WILL get you laughed at or slapped in the face (not that I would or have ever done that) and/or talked about behind your back. They will not say nice things about you either. But you never know, she may think you're funny and give you her number anyways. But not likely. I guess it all depends on the atmosphere and your approach.

Most of these pickup lines were used on me by one guy. I was at a baseball game and my sister and I had to go pee from all the beers we were drinking. We were walking up the bleachers and this guy yells out "Take me to bed or leave me forever". Which I think is a line from Top Gun. I'm not sure if I even have the wording right. But I'm sure somebody knows and will help me out. Anyways, I was like "Yah, whatever dork". As if that's going to get my number. We come back down the bleachers and the guy yells out some other lame ass pickup line at us, but I ignored him that time.

After drinking a few more beers, we had to pee again. That meant we had to pass by this guy again. But this time, it was nearing the end of the game. My sister and I proceeded to the restroom and he wasn't there. So we go pee, and come out of the bathroom and there the guy was waiting for his friends. My sister was a little more amused by the remarks this guy had been making, than I was. She went up to him and said "Hey, you've got some pretty good lines there, you got anymore"? Of course this guy did. He was full of them. Here's a few that I can remember:

~ Do you work at a chicken ranch? Cuz you sure know how to raise a cock.

~ Do you work at KFC? Cuz you're finger licken good!

~ Baby, I'm an American Express lover.... you shouldn't go home without me!

~ Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Cuz I could see myself in your pants.

~ Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.

~ Hey baby, let's play house, you can be the door and I'll slam you!

~ If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?

And my all time favorite ......... Drum roll please.......

~ If you were a booger, I'd pick you first!

Needless to say, we got a good laugh and he didn't get my number.


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