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THE WORLD THROUGH MY EYES

You may see things differently, but this is how I view my life.

6/03/2003

I Think I'm Depressed


I'm usually a very happy person. I'm always chipper at work and quick to make a smart ass remark to a fellow co-worker. I'm usually very talkative and social. I work for a mall, and know a lot of people here. I try to make my social rounds at least once a day. I don't think I've ever been really depressed before. Sure I've had bad days, but I've always come out of it pretty quickly, regardless of what's going on in my life. I think that right now I have so much on my plate, that I can't come out of my bad mood. This is why I think I have depression:

~ It's hard to make me smile. Typically I'm easily amused.

~ I just want to sleep. I don't want to wake up in the morning, and I just want to go to bed when I get home from work.

~ I'm super emotional. The slightest bit of criticism or any kind of sad new on TV will bring me to tears.

~ I can't stop eating these damn Circus Animal cookies. You know the kind that has a pink or white frosting with sprinkle specks.

~ I don't want to go out into the mall at all. I don't feel like bullshitting with anybody.


I totally need to snap out of it because I'm not fun anymore.

Thank God for Jerry, my kids and my family. Jerry has been awesome in dealing with my moodiness lately. We went to bed early last night and just laid together naked and he held me then made love to me then held me some more. I totally needed that. Hell, I'm tearing up just thinking about how much that meant to me. He bought steaks for dinner last night and I wasn't hungry. He just said, "We'll have them tomorrow, let's go to bed so I can hold you". And he went to bed with me without eating too. He decided around 9:00 that he was hungry, so he asked me if I'd like a fruit smoothie. Something light was exactly what I needed and the smoothie was really good.

Even though we went to bed early last night, I still had a very hard time getting up this morning. I wish I has a machine like the Jetsons where the bed tilts up and puts you on a conveyer that brushes your teeth for you, gives you a shower, dresses you, does your hair and makeup, fixes you breakfast then rolls you to your car where it drives you to work. How awesome would that be?

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