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THE WORLD THROUGH MY EYES

You may see things differently, but this is how I view my life.

6/02/2003

Irony at it's Finest


Thursday I write a blog about the bad things I did in the Church in my neighborhood, then low and behold I find myself there on Sunday for service! WTF? I think someone is trying to tell me something, I dunno.

I went to Bakersfield to be with my family this weekend since my Grandma is in the Hospital. It was fun and emotionally draining at the same time. I always look forward to spending time with my family. And it was nice that we could all come together in a time like this.

I arrived at 7:30 pm Friday night with Jerry, the kids and my Dad. We decided that it would probably be too late to visit my Grandma by the time we got to the hospital, so we just hung-out and visited for the rest of the evening and called it an early night.

My sister was with her last boyfriend for over 5 years. They even lived together, and were never allowed to sleep in the same bed when they visited my Grandparents. Jerry and I have only been together for 4 months, and we got to sleep in the same bed. heehee. And it was soooo sexy to mess around with our clothes on under the covers in the middle of the living room where our bed was set up.

Saturday, it was so so so so hard to see my Grandma sedated and struggling to breathe. Her heart rate was at 140 beats per minute. I stroked her hair and talked to her a little and told her that I love her, but I don't know if she could hear me. My other family members were waiting to see her and I didn't know what else to say, so I left after a few minutes. I wanted to kiss her forehead and hug her, but that was just about impossible with all the tubes and hoses coming out of her body.

The best part about Saturday was the surprise we got when my cousin Lisa showed up unexpectedly. She lives in Florida and none of us were expecting her. My Uncle Don and Cousin Amanda came in and said their Hello's. Then we get a phone call from Lisa. My Aunt Kathy was talking to her and thought she had lost her connection so she went into the back yard to see if that would help. Then Lisa comes in through the front door and we all thought that we were seeing a ghost. It was definitely like those MasterCard commercials.... Bus trip from Florida to New Orleans....$150...... Round Trip Plane Ticket from New Orleans to Sacramento, California ....... $575......... Surprising your family with an unexpected visit.....Priceless. There wasn't a dry eye in the house.

Sunday we called the Hospital before we went to Church. They gave us good news that my Grandma's heart rate was down to 85 beats per minute, so we all felt much better about that.

My parents are friends with the Pastor for the Church that I mentioned earlier. And since we all needed a lot of prayer for my Grandma we decided to go to that Church. The Church hasn't changed much. I looked at the doors that we used to break into with a butter knife. We went into the Chapel where we threw the confetti, and they were even serving lunch afterwards in the cafeteria. When you entered the Church, you could smell the food cooking. Oh the memories. The service was weird. Definitely different than what I'm comfortable with. But I did enjoy the message that the Pastor gave. He's a cool guy. All I could think was, nobody had better come and lay their hands on my forehead unless they wanna get my fist in their nose.

After Church, we went to the hospital to see my Grandma. She looked so peaceful. She was breathing normally, without struggling. I was able to walk out of the ICU unit without crying. It was still hard to see her and talk to her and not even know if she can hear me or know that I was there for her.

We got home last night and I was emotionally drained. I put the kids to bed, then laid in bed with Jerry and just lost it. All my emotions had finally caught up with me and I couldn't stop crying. I cried for over an hour. I woke up this morning and realized that I had left my glasses in Bakersfield and my eyes were so swollen and burning from crying so much, that I couldn't put my contacts in. I helped Jerry with his lunch, then went back to bed. I got up and got my daughter ready for school and called her Nana (my ex's mom) to have her come pick up my daughter and take her to school. I'm so blind, if I wouldn't of made it out of the neighborhood without hitting something or someone and wrecking the car. After the kids were gone, I called work and told them I might not make it in, then I went back to sleep. I woke up around 11:30 this morning. Put the ice packs on my eyes until the swelling went down enough to where I didn't look like an alien from Mars, and came to work around 1:30.

My boss was very surprised to see me. I filled her in with was had been going on with my Grandma and how upset I am about the whole situation. Luckily I have a very understanding boss and she is very sympathetic with what I'm going through. Jerry is concerned that I'm going to lose my job from taking so much time off. But hell, I have Vacation Days that I can still take and it's not like I'm calling in sick because I have a hangover, plus, I'm getting my work done, so as far as I'm concerned, I have nothing to worry about. As long as I keep my boss informed, it's all good.

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