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THE WORLD THROUGH MY EYES

You may see things differently, but this is how I view my life.

8/29/2003

Happy Labor Day!

I will be away from any kind of communication to the world this weekend. We will be camping in Mammoth and I'll be swating mosquito's and freezing my ass off at night. I'm sure it will be lot's of fun even though we have a 5 + hour drive ahead of us with two kids in the back seat saying "Are we there yet"? when we've only been on the road an hour.

I hope everyone has a safe and fun holiday!

8/28/2003

Good Bye Rosa

Today is a sad day because one of my best friends is leaving her position as Manager of Mrs. Fields here at the mall. It’s like losing your favorite bartender that you tell all your problems to, but much worse. Everyday Rosa works, I spend at least an hour out (and I’m not talking my lunch hour), shooting the shit, talking shit, spilling my shit or just plain bull shitting with her at her store. If I pass by her store and can’t stop, I’ll wave, and she’ll shrug her shoulders and throw her arms up as if she’s saying “where the hell do you think you’re going without stopping by to say hi”? even if I’ve already seen her that day.

I’ll miss the free cookies and the free cokes and the free whatever I want because I’m her friend stuff. I’ll miss us jointly flirting with the UPS man or the Fed Ex man or any other man that frequents the mall worthy of us flirting with. I’ll miss her stopping by my office on her way out, just to tell me that she’s off work or fill me in on the latest mall gossip. I’ll miss bringing her lunch because she doesn’t have anyone to cover her so she can get something to eat.

We’re going to party like it’s 1999 next Friday to celebrate her retirement. She’s been working for Mrs. Fields for 10 years now and is totally ready to go. Everyone here loves her, but I don’t think anyone will miss her more than I will.

Now, don’t be too sad because Rosa only lives a few blocks from the mall, we are good friends and good friends just don’t forget about each other and I’ll be going over to her house for lunch almost every day and she’s going to cook! She’d better have some fresh baked chocolate chip cookies ready for me when I arrive too.

8/27/2003

Ok, my comments are really pissing me off now. I've tried to fix them, but they just don't want to be fixed since they are still in hiding. I've sent an email to the guy at enetation for some help, and if that doesn't work, then I'm going to have to resort to something else. Because what is a blog with out the comments? I mean that is the best part. So in the mean time, please continue to comment in the Shout Box until I get this problem taken care of.

8/26/2003

Go Ask April

There’s a new Blogging trend going around. And since I can’t be out of the loop, I’m playing along. Here’s how you play: You’re asked 5 questions by another blogger. You post the questions along with the answers on your blog and you answer them as truthfully as possible. I had one of my favorite fellow bloggers, Texas T-Bone ask me my 5 questions.

1. What makes a California Girl a California Girl?

Well, first you have to either live in California or have lived in California for most of your life. I think when most people think of a “California Girl” they typically think of the girl from Orange County or LA, with the body of a super model, long blonde hair, perfectly white teeth and a killer tan. I don’t think that’s a fair statement for most Cali Girls. We are of all types and sizes. We are big, small, short, tall, and come from all different ethnic backgrounds. Some of my best friends are Hispanic, Black and one is even from Pakistan. They are all California Girls.

2. What is your most prized possession? What would you trade for it?
My most prized possessions is the jewelry that I have from both of my grandmothers. Though they may not have much monitary value, they have sentimental value that cannot be replaced or traded for anything.

3. How did motherhood change you? What's the biggest thing you've learned in the past 10 years?

I know for a fact that I wouldn’t be the same person if I didn’t have children in my life. Being a mom means everything to me. I think the biggest way that it has changed me is by making me responsible. Because not only do I have myself to think about, but I have 2 other peoples lives in my hands. And I care for them more than I do for myself. I have learned not only responsibility, but also a love for another human being that cannot be put into words.

4. What's your favorite song? What do you think about it when you hear it?

My favorite song (for the moment) is the Atari’s version of Don Henley’s “The Boy’s of Summer”. It just makes me feel good. I picture a couple riding in a convertible on PCH (Pacific Coast Highway) with the top down and the ocean breeze going through my hair.

5. What is your favorite store in the mall you work in? What's the last thing you bought there?

I would have to say that Forever 21 is my favorite store here in the mall, since we don’t have an Ann Taylor Loft. I just recently purchased 2 black floral blouses, that tie in the back. They both have a different floral print and look great on me. I couldn’t decide between the two, so I just bought them both!

If you would like to play along and have me interview you ... the following rules apply:

1. If you want to participate, please leave me a comment saying "interview me" (along with your e-mail address, please).
Since my comments aren't working at the moment, you can email me at so_cali_hottie@yahoo.com or leave me a message on my Shout Box.

2. I will respond by asking you five questions – each person's will be different.

3. You will update your journal with the answers to the questions.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Thanks for playing!

8/25/2003

Happy Birthday Sweetie

On this day in 1993, my daughter was born at 12:15 pm. She was a beautiful newborn baby, weighing in at 6 lbs 9 oz and she was 19” long. Every mother has a story about their labor and how they gave birth. This is an event in my life that is so specail that I could never forget. So I’m going to share my story with you.

It was a warm summers morning and I woke up around 8:30 am to go pee. My (now ex) husband had already gone to work. We had some friends living with us at the time. Janelle’s boyfriend was at work also, but Janelle was still sleeping. I used the bathroom across from her bedroom. As I was peeing, I didn’t feel as though I had to pee anymore, but it kept coming out. I was wearing a long t-shirt and some panties. I wiped and got up from the toilet, and what I thought was pee, sill was coming out. So I take off my panties and stood in the bathtub and called for Janelle. She got up to see what was wrong, so I said to her “I’m peeing and it won’t stop”! She started laughing and said “Silly, your water broke”.

I was only 19 at the time, and I was totally clueless about what was happening to me, but that made sense. I told Janelle to call Joel and tell him what’s going on while I took a shower and got ready. Joel’s work was at least 15 minutes away, I think he made it home in 5, because I was half way through my shower by the time he got home. He called my family and his family to tell them I was going to have the baby. My parent’s (who lived only minutes from us) came to the house and waited for me to get ready. I took my time since I wasn’t feeling any pain.

We all arrived at the hospital around 10:00 am. They put me in a in labor and delivery room and hooked me up to the monitoring machines and stuck some IV’s in my arm. They later gave me some Poticin to help induce my labor. They were concerned that since my water had already broke, that if labor took a long time that it would dry up and cause problems. So the faster the better. Which I totally agree with. This Poticin shit really worked well. I became a dilating fool in no time. The anesthesiologist came in around 11:00 am and gave me the most wonderful drug in the world…an epidural. My philosophy is, “If there’s a drug that will take away the pain, I’m game!” Screw that natural shit. I was hurting bad! The Poticin made the contractions come fast and strong. I was willing to do anything! Well, almost anything to get rid of the pain.

The epidural really worked! I could barely feel any of the contractions and we could tell they were good ones from watching the monitor. The nurse came in for what seemed like the 100th time to check to see how far along I was dilated. It was time! Not only was Joel in the room watching his daughter be born, My mom was there and his mom was there too. The crew came in the room and made me put my knees to my ears and I pushed. I had the biggest audience down at my crotch than ever had been there before. My beautiful baby girl came out healthy and screaming! This was one of the happiest days of my life. I cried tears of joy as the nurse put my baby girl on my chest so I could hold her for the very first time.

Years pass by so quickly. I can remember holding her as a baby and thinking to myself how much I cherish these moments, because I knew then that she would grow up so fast and these innocent years will soon be gone. She won’t depend on her mommy for very long. Even though my baby girl is 10 now, she will always be my little girl and I will always want to protect her and comfort her. She is such a blessing.

Happy Birthday Sweetie!


8/22/2003

A Bee’s Sting

Monday is my daughter’s 10th birthday. Every year from now, I’m going to feel older and older when her birthday comes. It’s bad enough that I’m almost 30, but my baby is going to be 10! I think I’m going to cry. No not really.

So instead of having a birthday party with a bunch of out of control kids (like last year), we’re going to Knott’s Berry Farm. I already have the tickets and a room booked for tomorrow night. I had a feeling in my gut, after I read the “if you do not cancel your reservations within 24 hours, we will charge you the full rate of the room” message. And wha-da-ya know? Something happens that could possibly spoil our trip.

Yesterday, a bee stung Jerry right above his eye. When Jerry got home, his eye looked swollen, but nothing too bad. By the time we went to bed, however, the swelling had gotten much worse. Buy this morning, his eye was practically swollen shut and the entire side of his face was totally puffy. I told him that he needs to take his ass to the doctor’s office and have them look at it. Remember that movie Goonies? Remember the monster in the basement? There ya go. His face was FUCKED UP! I said to him “You’re lucky I love you, because only a mother can love a face like that”! (I’m so mean heehee).

Jerry took my advise and went to see the doc. They said that he had an allergic reaction to the bee sting and that it was a good thing he came in because it could have been fatal since the sting was so close to the brain and could of caused swelling. Plus he can’t have any activity that causes his heart rate to go up. So we all know what that means! Jerry got a shot and put on a steroid and antibiotics. If the swelling isn’t down by the morning then they don’t want him going to Knott’s and they want him to come back in and they will hospitalize him. So I’m praying that the swelling goes down and we’ll just throw his ass in a wheelchair and get to go the front of the lines at Knott’s!

Have a great weekend everyone!

8/21/2003

Beauty Tips from April
What NOT to do to save money


Jerry is always after me to find ways to save money and cut expenses. Especially when it comes to my hair, makeup and nails. He things paying $80 for highlights is outrageous and certainly doesn’t understand why I insist on buying Clinique or Estee Lauder makeup when the brands at the drug store are so much cheaper.

Last Thursday, I got a manicure and a pedicure. Jerry couldn’t believe that I spent $26 plus a tip for something he says I can do my self. So I figured, I prove it to him why it’s worth hiring a professional to do these things rather than do them myself.

I am in no way skilled nor do I have the patients to do highlights and lowlights on my hair. When I go to the salon, I’m usually there for 3 hours. I can sit there while Jerome does my hair and chat with him. But I just couldn’t do it myself. Any girl or guy who’s gone with their girl to get highlights knows the involvement and the process it takes.

So Jerry and I were looking through the Sunday coupons and saw one for Herbal Essence do-it-your-self highlights for $2.50 off. I clipped the coupon and went to the drug store to make my purchase. I came home and I had highlights within an hour. Jerry jumped in the shower with me as I was rinsing out the cream from my hair and started laughing. I had applied way too much in certain areas and the highlights weren’t really highlights. It was like a 3-inch really blonde chunk of my hair. The worst part is that I can’t wear my hair up because it’s right above my ear and totally looks horrible. I have to wear my hair down to keep it covered. So much for saving $80 bucks. I’d rather dish out the money to someone who knows what the hell they are doing.

My next big savings was on my French manicure. Wal-mart has French manicure kits that you can buy for $5. Complete with the white for the tips, pink for the bottom plus tip guides. My French manicure that I had just got, was already starting to chip, which Jerry thought was a complete waste. So I removed my chipped French manicure, applied the guides and started putting on new white tips. They looked like crap. I figured that once I removed the guides, they would turn out alright. Well, they didn’t. They were too thick, the line wasn’t straight, and some of them peeled off when I removed the guides. I took off the white tips and started over. They still didn’t turn out right but I said fuck it, I’ve already spent an hour doing my nails, so I’ll just apply the pink and go to bed. So now I have a really shitty highlights and French manicure.

8/19/2003

Wait! There's More!

This just in from a very reliable source (Rosa). Apparantly, I have a coke habbit. Shit, I wish I knew about this. Especaily since I've never touched anything in my life other than the liquid form that you drink. You know the kind that either comes in cans, or 2 litre bottles. So my new plan is to walk around the wedding snorting and rubbing my nose.

Spoiled Party

My friend Deana is getting married on September 13. I mentioned earlier that she and her fiancé were having joint bachelor/bachelorette parties at the maid of honor’s house. Well, there were some issues that arose from having the party at the maid of honor’s house. For one, the maid of honor is pregnant. Two, she stress out pretty easily. I also heard that she was having some issues in her life and wanted to cancel the party days before. So we were left scrambling at the last minute to find another venue. Then, the maid of honor went ahead and Ok’d the party again.

I’ve never met the maid of honor until the day of the party. I could tell she didn’t like me right from the start. Jerry and I brought a big bottle of Bacardi Rum and four 2 liters of Coke with us to the party. We also came with a couple Red Bulls to keep us awake through the party. Well, Deana happened to furnish us with some Absolute Vodka to accompany our Red Bull’s. We mingled a little then made our way outside. After we finished our Red Bull and Vodka’s, we made ourselves a Rum and Coke. I got a pretty good buzz going so I went inside to get some food.

I’m serving myself up some Shrimp Cocktail, and noticed that the non-alcoholic punch was almost gone. The maid of honor, her mom and some of her family members (whom I thought were way older than 12, I swear) was in the kitchen. So I think I might of said something (in a cute/nice way) to the MOH like “What the fuck? I thought this was a bachelor/bachelorette party?! Who the hell is drinking this Non-Alcoholic shit? (Ok this is the part where I should of just inserted my foot into my mouth or left the party). Then I go on to say “Well, I can understand you, because your pregnant, but no one else should be drinking that shit!”

MOH: “Well, this isn’t a Bachelor party, it’s a SHOWER and there ARE children here”.
Maid of Honors Mom: “And she’s 12 (pointing to a girl I swore was at least 18) plus I’m on medication so I don’t drink alcohol.”

Now I’m stuck on the fact that the MOH said that this was a Shower. So I open my big ass mouth again and say: “Nobody told me this was a shower, I was told that this was going to be a joint Bachelor party, only there wasn’t going to be strippers”.

MOH (getting very frustrated) : “No, this is a shower and there should never have been any alcohol here in the first place.”

Now I decide to just get the hell out of there. Because I can see that our conversation wasn’t going anywhere and If I brought up the fact that there was Champaign Punch on the food table, and that a keg had just arrived outside, that might of made the situation worse.

So I go back outside with my shrimp cocktails and say to everyone at my table: “Well, that didn’t go very well. I don’t think it’s a good idea that I go back into the house until I decided to leave.”

The MOH’s husband was standing there and I explained to my table of friends what had just happened with the MOH. Her husband (with beer in hand from the keg that just arrived) says to me “Oh the shower is just really a cover for the party, since she didn’t want to throw a party.”

The next day, I call Rosa and she goes on to tell me how the MOH was just being a complete bitch to everyone and it wasn’t just me, even though she didn’t like me one bit. As if I really care, I have enough friends and I don’t want a bitch for a friend. She treated everyone like dirt that was at the party. The funny thing is, her husband and Jerry got along really well. So well in fact, that he invited Jerry to join him and his friends to their next river trip. He made it clear that it was a GUY ONLY trip, and Jerry’s not really into hanging out with a bunch of dudes without me there, so he politely declined. Jerry says to me “I guess we won’t be doing anything with them now”. I said “I guess not!”

8/18/2003

Get A Room!

I have so much to talk about from my weekend. But I’ll save that for tomorrow since I promised you this one:

I’ve been known (on several occasions) to frequent Karaoke bars. And it’s most fun when you have a large crowd with you to cheer you on. There was this one occasion a few years ago, when we had a girl’s night out. There were probably 8 of us in our group including my sister and me. We got to the bar early enough to get a table big enough to seat all of us. Then later, my parents showed up. We were all pretty lit by then, so it didn’t really matter that my parents were there.

Now let me tell you about this bar. It’s in Yucaipa, and the only bars in Yucaipa are pretty much white trash bars. Since we all had our front teeth and our clothes weren’t stained, we were by far, the best looking girls in the place, which pissed off all the other girls who were probably excellent giving bj’s without biting. We had so much fun singing that night and the more beer we drank, the better worse we sounded. None of us really gave a shit, since we were having so much fun.

Then came time for our KJ (That’s Karaoke Jockey) to take a break. He put on some dance music for us while he went in the back and smoked a bowl or shot up some heroine (that's a joke btw, he was probabaly doing Meth instead, because we all know if you've been following my blog that the 909 is the METH capital of the world). During this intermission, there was a very lovely couple, who were probably destined for each other. My theory on their background is they come from a family of neglect, drugs and alcohol. My guess is that they grew up in the same trailer park, which had 15 foot long aluminum trailers parked on a lot of dirt and shit. Therefore, were never taught about things that were inappropriate to do in public. Their family’s only dentist was Mrs. String and Mr. Door Knob.

A slow song came on and this beautiful couple decides to dance. The dance floor in this place is about 15’ wide x 25’ long. It’s very small and our table had a front row view of their show. They were making out very heavily while they were dancing. White Trash Girl was wearing a pair of tight jeans and White Trash Guy decides to be very open about unzipping her pants and rapidly working his hand down them. Now she’s grabbing him and is about to pay back the favor. We’re sitting there about to hurl every ounce of beer we just drank, plus our parents are sitting right there.

The guys sitting at the table next to us are equally disgusted about our new show that was suddenly playing on the dance floor and yells out “GET A ROOM”. My sister joins in and also starts yelling “GET A ROOM, GET A ROOM”. Our lovely White Trash Guy turns around and sees my dad, who is sitting against the wall across the table from him, and the guy leans over the table and try’s to take a swing of at my dad! Now, if you’ve ever seen my dad, he looks more like Dilbert than a biker dude, anyone can tell that my dad is NO threat what-so-ever. He’s about the most laid back dude you’ll ever meet. And he certainly isn’t into bar fights.

At the same time White Trash Guy is going for my dad, White Trash Chick is going for my sister. You don’t wanna fuck with my sister. Because not only is she very capable of defending herself, she had a lot of BACKUP! I’m not saying that my dad didn’t, but he was the only guy in our group, so it would have been a bunch of chicks on White Trash Guy and his White Trash Girlfriend. Luckily the guys next to us, grabbed the dude and threw him outside before he got a swing in at my dad. The chick was grabbed just as quickly.

I’m so glad that guy didn’t touch my dad. I can only imagine what kind of disease would of festered from where that guy’s hand was just at, and then would have been transferred to my dad’s face if the guy had been able to hit him.

8/15/2003

Please Remind Me To....

Since I don't blog on the weekends, hub's posting for today just reminded me of the bar fight my sister and I were almost in with an "overly affectionate" couple on the dance floor. It makes for one great blog story, and I know if I don't put this on my blog while I'm thinking about it, I'll totally forget. So will someone please remind me to write about that. I promise it will be entertaining and the couple went way past the point Hub's couple did.

A Child's Perception

On Wednesday, as I was taking my kids to thier dad's house (he lives with his parents) I saw that there was a firetruck in the vacinity of their house. As I approached the house, I realized that the truck was actually in front of the house. My ex came out to get the kids, and I asked what was going on. Apparently, his dad (my kids papa) fell off the roof and had broke his wrist and they didn't know what other injuries might of occured during the landing.

I was just talking to my sister on the phone and she was telling me that my son has been really upset because he thought that papa was on fire since there were firetrucks at the house. How cute is that?

I'm not gay, but she is!

The weekend is almost here and I can’t wait to sleep in. I’m going to my friend Deana’s party tomorrow night. She’s getting married on September 13th and her and her Fiancé are having a joint bachelor/bachelorette party. I think this is a much better tradition rather than having them separately. All kinds of trouble can emerge from separate parties. I’ve heard horror stories about the bride/groom sleeping with the stripper, or partaking in some sort of sexual activity with the opposite sex. Thing is, you have to allow these things to happen, and if that’s the case, then maybe you shouldn’t be getting married in the first place.

Last night we went to a fundraiser event to benefit a local charity. My boss bought several tickets and I always get to go. There was free food and wine tasting, plus a silent auction, a live auction and a raffle. I always look forward to this event because they are always so much fun and I love hanging out with my co-workers. There are several restaurants from the area that bring a specialty dish from their eating establishment. The crabby old lady that was there from the winery was very stingy with her wine pouring. Some of us would come back with only a few sips worth of wine, when others would come back with double what the previous person got. The men mostly made trips to get wine to serve to their ladies. We accused the guy who got the most wine, of flirting with the crabby old lady to get a bigger glass full. I went up for a refill and she was gone. I waited for about 30 seconds and looked around for her, but she was no where to be found. So I just helped myself and poured two full glasses of wine. I came back to the table and said “She’s a lesbian”.

8/14/2003

This has got to be the BEST blog posting EVER! Read it not only once, but twice and let it all soak in. WTG The Mighty Jimbo!

Not Cool in School

Believe it or not, I was completely fashionably challenged in school. And I’m talking well into my sophomore year before I got a clue about hair, makeup and clothes. I moved to Yucaipa (pronounced U-kai-pah) when I was 15. Previously, I had gone to school with the same people for my entire school career. Moving to a new town, and a small one at that, was absolutely devastating. I had no friends for an entire summer. And it was really hard for me to make friends being so fashionably challenged. I really didn’t have any guidance at home because my mom, well, dressed like a mom.

My hair in Jr. High was in the style of a feathered mullet. It was short in the front, feathered on the sides and longer in the back. Then around my freshman year, my hair had grown out some and I got a perm. I’m not knocking perms or anything. Ok I lied, I’m totally knocking perms. I don’t look good with a perm. But that didn’t stop me from having the big ass bangs and the wings to go with the big ass bangs. You remember the hairstyle right?

One day, during my sophomore year of high school, I didn’t have time to do my hair in the morning because I was (as usual) running late. My perm had grown out by then and so my hair was somewhat straight. With the help of the blow dryer and a brush, I had dried my hair completely straight. I went to school, somewhat embarrassed that I hadn’t had time to fix my hair, and got a TON of compliments. Everyone said I looked much better with straight hair. So from that day forward, I had straight hair.

I am also visually impaired. I’m talkin’ BLIND! I’ve been wearing glasses since the third grade. When I was in high school it was the late 80’s to early 90’s, and the big-framed glasses were the style. I’m not saying they looked good but it was the style back then. (OMG I just realized that I’m saying “BACK THEN” that must mean that I’m getting old!) Not only did I have big-framed glasses, but the lenses were tinted blue on the top and a rose color on the bottom. How I thought that was cool, I’ll never know. My sophomore year I finally ditched the glasses and got contact lenses. I instantly had more friends because of my appearance change. I didn’t really realize this until later, but it’s the truth. But who isn’t shallow at the age of 15? And hell, I didn’t care, I was making friends.

I made it through high school with no problem. I may not of been part of any click. I had a boyfriend, and some good friends to hang out with. I do have to admit; I’m WAY hotter now that I’m almost 30, than I ever was at the age of 18. I may not have my tight little 18-year-old body, but my hair, my make up and clothes totally kick ass compared to then.

8/13/2003

Job Perks

I’ve been working for the mall for over 2 ½ years now and I’m pretty much bored with my job. I’m not learning anything anymore. I do love my work environment and all the people in my office, but lately I’ve been thinking about finding a different job, that pays more and is a little more challenging. Then I think of all the perks I have and the freedom I have, that may not come with another job. I know that there are other jobs out there that do pay more and probably have even better perks than I have such as radio advertising sales. Just think, I could get tickets to all the cool rock concerts and possibly meet some of the bands. But then I think that the job security may not be there. I’m not that adventurous or that much of a risk taker to give up my security.

Here are some “perks” I’ve received since I’ve been at my job…

1. Freedom. I am at liberty to come and go as I please. I do have to be in the office for most of the day, and get my work done. But for the most part, if I have to run a quick errand or if I want to go out into the mall and just BS with my friends, I can.
2. Constant access to the Internet. This allows me to blog and read blogs throughout the day. Also, I’ve booked hotel rooms, bought concert tickets, shopped, played games, etc. But ONLY during my free time. (I threw that in there just in case my boss ever reads this.)
3. Free things. Since I’ve worked here, I’ve received tons of free perfume and cologne, makeup (from Estee Lauder and Clinique), a tiffany’s bracelet, free tickets to different local events, free lunches and dinners, I’ve seen Broadway Plays (only they were in L.A.), met celebrities, plus I receive kick ass discounts at a lot of the stores here in the mall.
4. Friends. I’ve met some really cool people here at my job and have made some life long friendships. That’s going to be very hard to leave. Only it may be a little easier once Rosa leaves. Her store is being sold to a franchise and she doesn’t want to work for a franchise so she’s quitting and taking a break for a while. That means, no more Rosa to waste time with. L
5. I can be late and not get in trouble. I’m late for work pretty much every day. I really try to get here on time but I’m afraid of getting ANOTHER speeding ticket. I’ve already gotten 2 tickets on my way to work and I owe more than a thousand dollars in traffic fines from several tickets, so I try to stay under 80 on the freeway. And because I can’t drive as fast as I need to, I’m late. Humpf. Ok that was a joke (well, kind of), I’m really not that stupid (OK maybe I am, because I do have quite a few tickets. It’s totally not true what they say about pretty girls getting out of tickets. I’ve run into quite a few dick cops.) I just can’t get my lazy ass out of bed on time. I love my sleep, and work interferes with my sleep. I’m resentful of that so I stay in bed for as long as possible and try to get ready as quickly as possible. This never works, and I know that. But I continue to do it day after day.

So, as you can see, I pretty much have it made. Now, if I could only make about 5 bucks an hour more, I would never leave this place.

8/12/2003

Friends

I can’t say enough about how my friends pulled through for me this past week, in every way possible. I don’t have a lot of close friends. I choose my friends very carefully. And the close friends that I do have, are the perfect examples of true friends. Some people come in and out of your life, you may hear from them once in a while, or run into them while your out shopping and quickly catch up, but the friends I’m talking about make sure that you are always ok. They genuinely care about how your feelings and go through a lot of trouble to make you feel better. My friends won’t get mad when you call them at 4 am in the morning crying about your boyfriend. They will listen and comfort you and offer advice. Then they will drive over an hour, one way, to pick you up when you’ve been stranded. They will do everything she can to make sure that you find a way home and even buy you lunch. My friends will gladly come over on their day off and help me move a huge pile of stuff that has been left out on the front lawn then take me out to lunch the next day. When I see a necklace that I’ve been wanting, she will bargain it down and buy it for me just to make me feel better. Most importantly, my friends will stand by me no matter what decisions I make in my life or weather or not they approve, they will always be there for me. What better friends could one ask for?

My sister is two years younger than me and she is one of my best friends. I couldn’t ask for a better sister. She’s helped me move all the stuff out of the office and back in twice within a month. She also helped me set up my bed. And when I was sad because I wouldn’t be getting any dick anymore, she gladly offered me her dildo to borrow when I needed it. (That was a joke btw, but it was funny as hell). I can be goofy and silly and my sister will always laugh at me. When we’re at the dinner table and some one asks for the salt and pepper, we both start singing “Salt and Peppers here and we’re in effect”. And we do it every time. So now our family asks for the Pepper and Salt. We also make sure to hold or tongues while saying the words Purse and Apple.

My sister will always get up and sing Karaoke with me. When we’re at a party, hell, she’ll sing all night with when no one else wants to sing. She’ll even dance and bump butts with me. And if I make her really strong Margarita’s, she’ll entertain us all by singing a Madonna song while crawling and grinding on the floor. I am so lucky to have a sister; I don’t think I could have this much fun with a brother.

8/11/2003

Monday’s …. YUCK!

I did almost exactly what I said I was going to do this weekend. We went to the baseball game and had $1.00 beer and $0.50 hot dogs. We went to the Speedwayand got V.I.P. treatment. I’m friends with the MC and he took us up into the announcer stands and there was free drinks and free food! It was even air-conditioned. The kids loved it and had so much fun. My son got to race a big wheel during intermission and won a stuffed thingy that took us 5 minutes of guessing to figure out that it was an airplane. Then yesterday, we went to church then came home and barbequed some hamburgers for lunch, took a nap then went to the movies and saw Freaky Friday. It was a cute movie with a good message about not taking your relationships for granted. My daughter really enjoyed it.

Our weekend wasn’t so jammed packed that we didn’t have anytime to rest (like usual) and we got to bed fairly early last night. I still didn’t want to get my lazy ass out of bed this morning. Coming to work lately seems like such a chore. I don’t know if its time for a career change, but I’m so not motivated anymore. And really, I have it totally made here. I have a ton of freedom and the Internet all day long. I get along with everybody; we’re like a family here. Plus there are perks! Who wouldn’t want perks?? I just need to kick myself out of this slump.

I arrived to work this morning and opened up my email. There were 2 surprises, one from Joe Smitherman just saying “Say What????” (whatever that’s supposed to mean). I have no idea who you are, but apparently you read my blog since you left me a comment there too. So welcome and thanks for stopping by. Then there was an email from someone I dated right before Jerry. I haven’t talked to this guy in about 7 months and out of the blue he sends me an email telling me all kinds of stuff. WTF is that all about? He knows that I’ve moved on. I was hurt when we broke up, but I got over it. There’s nothing like a rebound relationship to get over the breakup with someone that you were falling in love with. Since things were so fabulous between Jerry and I in such a short amount of time, I quickly forgot all about Muscle Man.

I was debating on weather to share this with you, then I said to myself, wtf, who cares? Go for it! So here’s what he wrote:

Hey Appleshell,
Was just thinking about you and happened to click on your profile. I have to admit you look very happy and Jerry looks like a wonderful man, I am very happy for you.

Sometimes you reflect on what has come to pass and decisions you make. I have to admit I fucked up for judging you so harsh and being such a hard headed ass. I guess that not much, nor any of this, or even an apology matters at this point, but I have this place in my heart that is filled by you, and the time we shared, memories that are very dear to me, more than you'll ever know and I am sorry for any hurt I caused your heart.

Anyway, You take care, the both of you. I wish you nothing but happiness and the best you could ever wish for and I mean this from the bottom of my heart.

Muscle Man (Name changed to protect the not-so-innocent)


I’m debating on weather or not to email him back just to say hi and thank him for the nice email and to let him know that I am happy (most of the time). I don’t want to be rude and leave him hanging. Or should I? I guess it doesn’t really matter.

8/09/2003


Possible new blog design? Posted by Picasa

8/08/2003

Rest and Relaxation

It’s been such a stressful week, that I’m so looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow. I would like to get to bed early tonight, but we are taking the kids to see the local baseball team play. I’m so not into sports, but I have free box tickets, I get to check out the butts of some fine ass men, and it’s $0.50 Friday tonight. That means $0.50 for sodas and hot dogs and $1.00 beers. It’s cheap entertainment.

Tomorrow I’m going to take the kids to the movies. Haven’t figured out which movie to take them too yet. The only Kid appropriate movies out are Finding Nemo (which they’ve already seen), Spy Kids 3 in 3 D which totally does not excite me but I could suffer if that’s what they want to see, then Seabiscuit, which I was told really wasn’t a kids movie, but it has a great message.

Tomorrow night, we’re taking the kids to the races. I have free tickets to that as well. Perks of my job. I’m hoping that I’ll be able to squeeze in a nap between the movie and the races. I still have a lot of work to do around the house, so I’m guessing that I probably won’t get any nap time in.

Sunday we’re going to take the kids to church. They really enjoy it and it’s so cute to hear my son say “God Loves Me!” It really makes him excited. I don’t know if he understands or not, but it doesn’t really matter, it makes him happy. In my daughters Sunday School class, they gave the kids a verse to memorize. We haven’t been to church in 2 weeks and she still knows the verse and from what part of the bible it came from. To me, that’s impressive.

I’m still waiting to get my money from the government for the Child Tax Rebate. I plan on using most of it for back to school clothes for the kids. My daughter’s birthday is August 25, so I’m thinking I’ll save some of the money to take her and a friend to Knott’s Berry Farm for her birthday. I’ve lived in California all my life, Southern California since I was 15, and I’ve never been to Knott’s.

My dad got kicked out of Knott’s when he was a kids and banned for life because they entered a restricted area (that’s his story and he’s stickin’ to it). So he never took us there when we were kids. Like I’m sure they would say…”Hey there’s that kid from 1959 who went into our restricted area, even though he’s 55 now, Let’s Get Him!” I’ve been to Magic Mountain a thousand times, and Disneyland Countless times, but I’ve never been to Knott’s. OK I take that back, right after 9-11, I went to Knott’s Scary Farm a few years ago. But that doesn’t count because we only got to go on ONE ride. We spent the rest of the time going through all the haunted house mazes.

Well, that’s my weekend plans. I just wanted to thank everyone for their comments and advise and support. I want you to know that I really appreciate it. My friends and family have really been the best through all of this. I have one friend that I haven’t mentioned and that’s Rosa. We’ve been friends for about 2 years, close friends for the past year. She works here at the mall. I just love this girl. She is so thoughtful and generous with her time and money. She has done so much for me throughout our friendship. Friends like these just don’t come along everyday. I don’t have a lot of very close friends, but she is definitely one of them.

Have a good weekend!

8/07/2003

I’m a Sucker for Love

A few days have passed and I’ve cooled down from what happened, so now I’m more willing to listen with an open heart. Like I’ve said before, I forgive easily. Especially when a man is crying and begging for my forgiveness for several days. I truly thought I was done with him. But Jerry said all the right things. And what mattered most to me was his sincerity and the fact that he wanted to come and talk with my parents about the situation.

After I got home last night, I called him and told him just to come over since my dad had just got home from work. Then I told my parents that Jerry was on his way over and that he’d like an opportunity to explain his side of the story. Then my mom said to me “You’re thinking about getting back together with him aren’t you?” And I responded, “Yes, I am. I love him and there’s more to the story that he needs to explain to you”. My parents didn’t know about his felony. I really think that is a major factor that they should know about and it would explain why he left me.

My mom said that she didn’t care what his excuse was, I’m her daughter and there is no reason for him to leave me stranded like that. Which is a point that I understand, but the reality of it is, he would of gone to jail with any kind of police contact. He would of lost his home, his truck, his boat, and most importantly (these are his words) me and the kids.

If you’re wondering what he got arrested for, Jerry was caught with a modified assault rifle. He modified the clip so that it would take more rounds which is a HUGE no-no in the state of California and is a felony. So any kind of negative police contact would get back to his probation officer and he would go to jail for more than a year.

My dad is always level headed and told my mom that he wouldn’t mind hearing Jerry’s side of the story. But my mom was really adamant about not seeing or hearing what Jerry had to say. I could see how strongly my mom felt about it, so I called Jerry and told him that he should just turn around, my mom doesn’t want to hear his side of the story and I can’t be with someone that my parents don’t like or approve of. Jerry started crying and saying “It’s just a big mistake, it should never of happened that way, PLEASE just let me come over and explain to them my side, I know they would understand. Please don’t do this to me baby, I LOVE YOU!”

At this time I was feeling pulled in two different directions. But I know Jerry and I have issues and I want to do what my parents think is best for me. So I told him, “Just don’t come over. Please go home”. Well, Jerry was right around the corner, and didn’t go home. He came over and knocked on the door. I told my parents that I called him to tell him to turn around and go home, but obviously, he didn’t. My dad answered the door and told Jerry to give us 10 minutes because we were just about to eat dinner. After we ate, my dad got Jerry and brought him into the living room. I could tell Jerry had been crying. His eyes were all red and glossy.

So Jerry explained his side of the story to my parents, he explained about the felony, why he had to leave and the fact that he waited for my call, etc. He was very genuine and sincere. He was crying and telling my parents how much he loves me and the kids and how he doesn’t want them to come home to see what had happened. He wants to make the house just like it was when they left because this will be devastating to them.

My parents explained their concerns for his temper and how the verbal abuse is hurting me. My dad explained how Jerry needs to make me a priority. That the little things he gets upset about are petty compared to the damage it’s causing to our relationship. Jerry agreed to everything my parents had to say.
We agreed to meet with my parents once a month to fill them in with how things are going. They are going to be our relationship councilors. Hell, they’ve been married for 30 years, so they know how it’s done. Granted they aren’t the perfect couple. They aren’t as affectionate as I like to be, but they do love each other and I can only remember one time my mom laid into my dad. One time in the 29 years of my life can I remember them fighting. That’s pretty damn good.

Like I said, I’m a total sucker for someone I love. I may not put up with their shit at the time, but sincere apologies mean everything to me. I should know better than to fall for it, but when my hearts involved I tend to not pay any attention to what my brain is telling me.

I want somebody in my life, for the rest of my life. And I know that I only want to be with one person. As long as whomever I’m with makes me happy, I will make him happy. That goes both ways. Last night he told my parents that he wants to be with me for the rest of his life. He poured his heart out and I know he meant every single word. Either that or he’s just a good actor. But I believe with every ounce of me that he is sincere. If you were there, I’m sure you would of fell for it too, it was that good.

My sister let him know that it was important for her to have some “sister” time with me. So Jerry’s response was, “You can come over any time you want and hang out with us.” He didn’t seem to get it. So I explained to him that we need “Alone Sister Time”. So we agreed that every other month or so, and on a weekend when we had the kids, I would get to go out with my sister and friends without him. And he would stay home and entertain the kids. He didn’t want to do it when the kids weren’t with us, that way he had company. Hearing him say that totally warmed my heart. This man has grown to love my kids! And hearing him say it means the world to me.

Some of you may think I’m stupid for going back. That may be true, but like my parents said, they will only be confident in our relationship when we prove to them that we have worked on things and we’re not fighting about petty things anymore. Jerry and I have so much in common, and we love each other so much, it’s going to be hard to throw it all away over a huge misunderstanding and miscommunications. And he’s not totally to blame, I did have a lot of fault in the situation.

8/06/2003

Two Sides to Every Story

Jerry called me Monday night and I totally laid into him. I got out a lot of frustration and it felt good. I didn’t really want to hear what he had to say, because as far as I was concerned, there was nothing he could say to justify why he left me stranded in Laughlin.

I was pretty much cooled down by Tuesday and talked to Jerry for about 3 hours. I actually listened to what he had to say about the situation. And this is HIS side of the story…..

First you have to realize that both of us had been drinking all day long on Saturday, starting at 10 am with double Bloody Mary’s. We also had very little food to eat that day. So we both were completely irrational drunks.

Jerry said that he couldn’t understand why I was so upset with him when it wasn’t HIS fault that the buffet was closed. He thought I was mad at him. Which in a way I kind of was, just because of the hike down the hill and I was REALLY hungry. But I was mostly upset that there just wasn’t any food there. I didn’t express to him what I was feeling. He felt (in his own drunken mind) as though I was just giving him attitude and being a bitch for not saying anything. I didn’t like the fact that he got in my face. And as soon as he started calling me a bitch, I was beyond pissed. (Note to guys, if your girl is drunk DO NOT call her a bitch, no matter how bitchy she may be acting. That is a recipe for disaster!!!) I called for security just so they would come and get him out of my face. That’s when ( I said he pushed me in the face) he grabbed my chin then pushed my head back. He didn’t do it that hard because it didn’t hurt.

Now here’s the twist…..

A few years ago Jerry got arrested for having an illegal weapon. He had modified a gun and made it totally illegal. So now he’s a felon and is still on probation for it. If he has any kind of Police contact, he’ll be arrested and sent to jail for a year. He’ll lose everything. This is why he ran as soon as I called Security.

He said that when he got back to the hotel room, he wasn’t thinking clearly because he was so drunk, and just wanted to get out of there. That’s why he took all of my stuff.

Jerry knew he shouldn’t be driving, so when he reached the state line, he pulled over and tried to get some sleep and also to wait for my call for me to say..”Fucker, why the fuck did you leave me here, (cuss words, cuss words, cuss words) now get your ass back over here and pick me up!” But I didn’t call. I tried to call, but I was so fucked up, I couldn’t get his phone number right. I think I dialed 299-xxxx instead of 229-xxxx. I also tried to call in the morning, but all I got was his voice mail. He said he must have been in a bad area where he didn’t get any reception because he was waiting for my call. Now, remember, I didn’t have my cell phone, he had taken it from me in the casino when we were fighting and he thought I was going to call Carrie to come and pick me up and when I called for security, he had it in his hand and just ran with it. And when I got my own room, I wasn’t put as a registered guest. So he had no way to find me.

He figured Carrie has come to get me, so when she was driving me back to her house, Jerry called Carrie on her cell. She told him that we were on our way home and we’re going to have the police meet us there to get all my shit. Since Jerry can’t have any contact with the police, he put all my stuff on the front lawn. I wouldn’t talk to Jerry so he had no way to explain his side. I’m sure if we had talked, he never would of put my stuff on the front lawn and I might have even gone home.

When we talked yesterday, we went over every “What if” scenarios that we could think of. Like..If I hadn’t of done this, then that wouldn’t of happened, or, If he didn’t do that, then this wouldn’t of happened. There are a lot of things that we could of done differently to prevent the situation, but the fact is, we were both tore up from the floor up and not thinking clearly.

Like my dad says, Jerry has a lot of great qualities, and has helped me out a lot, but he has a “Fly off the Handle” temper. Jerry is really tore up about us not being together and the fact that I’m not a home with him. The kids are at the beach with my ex’s parents until tomorrow. Jerry wants me to come home so we can get the kids room put back together and the house as back to normal as possible before the kids back from the beach. He doesn’t want this to be devastating for the kids. Nor do I. But obviously we have issues that need to be worked out and I’m not going home until he gets his anger under control.

8/04/2003


PinkFabricBackground Posted by Picasa

I didn't get to finish yesterday's post because the keyboard I was using SUKED major hairy balls. I would type something, then it would type the exact same thing for me. So I would have to delete what the keyboard volunteered and continue typing. Once I got to the end of the sentence, it would do it again. So I just got fustrated and it was adding to the stress I was under allready so I just quit.

So, anyways, to continue from where I left off yesterday.................

Stranded in Laughlin Part 2

When the police arrived, he took my statement for his report then went to the camra room to view the insodent. He said they didn't get the part where he pushed me in the face, but they got all the rest and from what he could see, Jerry had forced me back into my seat a few times when I was trying to get away.

The police officer was very nice. I had noticed when we passed the parkinglot that Jerry's truck and boat were missing. He escorted me back to the hotel room Jerry and I had shared. If Jerry would of been there, he would of been arrested on the spot. But, Jerry had bailed. Not only did Jerry take all his stuff, he took ALL of my stuff too. I was left with NOTHING! Not a toothbrush, a change of clothes, my contact lens stuff, just NOTHING! (ASSHOLE!!!!)

I didn't want to stay in that room, so I got another room for myself. The officer called my best friend Carrie (who lives in Vegas) and kind of filled her in with what had happened. He handed me the phone and I filled her in somemore and asked if she would come get me later. THANK GOD for frineds!

Then the police officer took me to the store so I could get some essentials for the night then dropped me off at the hotel. It was approximately 4 am by that time and I was exhaused. I laid down for a whole 2 hours. I wanted to sleep until about 10, but because of all the stress I was under, I woke up at 6 and realized that I still hadn't eaten anything yet and I was totally starving by that time. When I have things on my mind, it totally fucks up my sleep. I went downstairs and got some food. But because I was so stressed out and probably hungover, I could only eat a few bites.

I called Carrie back to arrange when she would pick me up. Carrie had some friends that were in Vegas at the time and were heading home on Sunday. She called them to see if they could give me a ride back since they live in the same area as I do. After that I tried to get some more rest, which seemed like an impossible task. And it turned out to be.

Carrie picked me up around 9:30 am. We went shopping so I could have some clean clothes to wear then went back to her house. Jerry had called Carrie on her cell just about that time, to talk to me. She wouldn't let him talk to me and I didn't have anything to say to him. Well, I did, but didn't feel like wasting the breath. He aked if we were almost home because all my stuff is on the front lawn and I need to come pick it up. She had a few choice words and asked him how he could expect me to be home soon when he left me stranded. He assumed that she would of come to pick me up and drive me the 4 hours home. But, she has a family and kids and was having her own problems. I wouldn't of asked that of her anyways.

After the call with Jerry, we called back Carrie's friends to arrange when we would meet them. They said that they were leaving in about an hour. So I took a shower and got ready to go. We were just about there, when her friend called to tell us that they decided to say longer. I think it was just an excuse. What else could go wrong?

I called Southwest Airlines and booked the next flight home. My sister came to pick me up at the airport and took me to my parents house where I will be staying until I can find another place to live. We got my parent's mini van and went to the local police station so I could get a police escort to pick up my stuff. When we arrived to Jerry's, most of my stuff was piled on the front lawn with a tarp over it. Jerry wasn't home and he had change the locks to the deadbolts. The police officer told me that it was illegal for him to kick me out this way. Jerry's supposed to serve me with an eviction notice, then I have 30 days to get out. Not that I would want to do that, but that's the law.

My sister's ex boyfriend lives just down the street from Jerry and he gave me his truck to use also. He brought a friend over with him and helped us load up the stuff. I tried to get into the house, but Jerry had changed the locks to the deadbolts. We loaded up what we could and came home. So toay, I have to get a storage unit to put all my stuff in.

So guys.... I'm now a single, available woman! Only I don't think I'm going to be dating anytime soon. I'm taking a break from guys for a while. Sounds to me like I'm going to have to go shopping for a dildo.

8/03/2003

Stranded in Laughlin

I wish that this was a happy posting about how my first trip to Laughlin was an absolute blast. Part of it was. I'm typing this from MY OWN hotel room, without Jerry.

Yesterday started out to be an awesome day. We had so much fun together. We had amazing boat rides where we were catching air from the wakes of other boaters. We got along great and had so much fun as a happy couple in love.

That only lasted until about 1:30 am this mornig. We walked all the way down the River Walk to Harrah's. Harrah's is a good few miles from where we were staying. But we would stop in a casino here or there to get drinks and gamble a little. It took us 3 hours to get to Harrah's. I was starving! The only substancial food I had all day was at 10:00 am. Here it was 1:30 in the morning and I was expecting this amazing buffet that Jerry had been raving about.

The River Walk ends right before Harrah's. There is 2 ways to get to the casino from there.
A. Through the casino next door and walk aout 1/2 mile to Harrah's.
or
B. Down a very large hill made of dirt and rocks.

Jerry chose B. I was wearing a mini skirt and high heels. Not exactly your hiking kind of outfit.

I wasn't exactly happy with the way he had chosen. Nor was I happy when we finally arrived to this so-called amazing buffet, to find it closed. So I just wanted to sit down and cry.

Jerry and I had had quite a few drinks throughout the day and evening. We were both pretty drunk. But that is no excuse for what happened next.

I sat down at a slot machine, not to play it, but to just sit and cry from the disappointment from walking all that way to find no buffet and being extremely hungry. Jerry started to tell me that I was being a bitch. I of course didn't appreciate that and said that I was just disappointed and didn't think me being called a bitch was called for. I wanted to just pull away from him but he got in my face and told me how much of a bitch I am and called me some other choice words. He was starting to cause a scene.

Things just got worse and he was getting very irate. I was scared because he had pushed me in the past. So when the cocktail waitress came to see if everythig was alright, I told her no. She asked if I would like for her to call security and I told her "Yes Please Get Security NOW!"

At that time Jerry told me that I'm a Fucking Bitch and pushed me in the face and he left. Security came and took me to thier security room to file a report then called the police for me to file a report with them.

8/01/2003

Friday Blah's

Ok, it's Friday and almost 2 pm and I'm forcing myself to blog today. I've really been out of "Blog Mode" the past few days. I don't know if it's because I've been so overwhelmed with work or my heart just hasn't been in it. So today, since it's Friday and I do as little work as possible on Friday's) I made sure that I caught up on all my missed blogging. So if you're link is on my Blog Linker, chances are, I read your blog today, and possibly even commented.

I get to go home an hour early today. My boss is on vacation and the big boss is on vacation. So the assist. boss, whom I love dearly and make a point to sexually harass him (in a harmless way) daily, said we could leave today at 4! Hell, I'll take it and won't even complain. Because of course, I'll get paid for that hour I didn't work.

This hour will also help me and Jerry out tremendously so that we will be able to leave earlier for our trip to Laughlin, Nevada. Oh, did I mention that we're going to Laughlin for the weekend? What's so special about Laughlin? Nothing really other than it has a river and gambling and it's not home. Sounds good to me! We'll be spending our weekend powering our way up and floating down the Colorado River.

I'm not looking forward to the drive there and back. We have to take the Monster Truck (as my son calls it) which, (as Jerry's Dad so eloquently put it) shakes my tits off. And lord knows there's not much there to shake off. My best friend Carrie almost gave herself two black eyes with her DD's when she rode in truck.

So my friends, hope you all have an awesome weekend, and I'll fill you in with all the drunken fun and sex we had, on Monday.