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THE WORLD THROUGH MY EYES

You may see things differently, but this is how I view my life.

8/06/2003

Two Sides to Every Story

Jerry called me Monday night and I totally laid into him. I got out a lot of frustration and it felt good. I didn’t really want to hear what he had to say, because as far as I was concerned, there was nothing he could say to justify why he left me stranded in Laughlin.

I was pretty much cooled down by Tuesday and talked to Jerry for about 3 hours. I actually listened to what he had to say about the situation. And this is HIS side of the story…..

First you have to realize that both of us had been drinking all day long on Saturday, starting at 10 am with double Bloody Mary’s. We also had very little food to eat that day. So we both were completely irrational drunks.

Jerry said that he couldn’t understand why I was so upset with him when it wasn’t HIS fault that the buffet was closed. He thought I was mad at him. Which in a way I kind of was, just because of the hike down the hill and I was REALLY hungry. But I was mostly upset that there just wasn’t any food there. I didn’t express to him what I was feeling. He felt (in his own drunken mind) as though I was just giving him attitude and being a bitch for not saying anything. I didn’t like the fact that he got in my face. And as soon as he started calling me a bitch, I was beyond pissed. (Note to guys, if your girl is drunk DO NOT call her a bitch, no matter how bitchy she may be acting. That is a recipe for disaster!!!) I called for security just so they would come and get him out of my face. That’s when ( I said he pushed me in the face) he grabbed my chin then pushed my head back. He didn’t do it that hard because it didn’t hurt.

Now here’s the twist…..

A few years ago Jerry got arrested for having an illegal weapon. He had modified a gun and made it totally illegal. So now he’s a felon and is still on probation for it. If he has any kind of Police contact, he’ll be arrested and sent to jail for a year. He’ll lose everything. This is why he ran as soon as I called Security.

He said that when he got back to the hotel room, he wasn’t thinking clearly because he was so drunk, and just wanted to get out of there. That’s why he took all of my stuff.

Jerry knew he shouldn’t be driving, so when he reached the state line, he pulled over and tried to get some sleep and also to wait for my call for me to say..”Fucker, why the fuck did you leave me here, (cuss words, cuss words, cuss words) now get your ass back over here and pick me up!” But I didn’t call. I tried to call, but I was so fucked up, I couldn’t get his phone number right. I think I dialed 299-xxxx instead of 229-xxxx. I also tried to call in the morning, but all I got was his voice mail. He said he must have been in a bad area where he didn’t get any reception because he was waiting for my call. Now, remember, I didn’t have my cell phone, he had taken it from me in the casino when we were fighting and he thought I was going to call Carrie to come and pick me up and when I called for security, he had it in his hand and just ran with it. And when I got my own room, I wasn’t put as a registered guest. So he had no way to find me.

He figured Carrie has come to get me, so when she was driving me back to her house, Jerry called Carrie on her cell. She told him that we were on our way home and we’re going to have the police meet us there to get all my shit. Since Jerry can’t have any contact with the police, he put all my stuff on the front lawn. I wouldn’t talk to Jerry so he had no way to explain his side. I’m sure if we had talked, he never would of put my stuff on the front lawn and I might have even gone home.

When we talked yesterday, we went over every “What if” scenarios that we could think of. Like..If I hadn’t of done this, then that wouldn’t of happened, or, If he didn’t do that, then this wouldn’t of happened. There are a lot of things that we could of done differently to prevent the situation, but the fact is, we were both tore up from the floor up and not thinking clearly.

Like my dad says, Jerry has a lot of great qualities, and has helped me out a lot, but he has a “Fly off the Handle” temper. Jerry is really tore up about us not being together and the fact that I’m not a home with him. The kids are at the beach with my ex’s parents until tomorrow. Jerry wants me to come home so we can get the kids room put back together and the house as back to normal as possible before the kids back from the beach. He doesn’t want this to be devastating for the kids. Nor do I. But obviously we have issues that need to be worked out and I’m not going home until he gets his anger under control.

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