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You may see things differently, but this is how I view my life.


House Party

Part of growing up and being a teenager is having a totally raging party at your parent’s house. I’m talking under-aged drinking, music blaring, friends puking, things breaking, people passed out, kind of party.

My parent’s used to go out of town for the weekend and leave my sister and me home alone. As soon as we got word that they were leaving for the weekend, the plans began. We never made flyers up. We didn’t want the entire school at the house. Just a few close friends, and their friends, friends, and their friends, friends. You know how it goes.

Since my parents went away more than once, well, we had several parties. You’d think they’d learn after the first few, not to go away and leave us by ourselves. And I swear, my mom just knew we had a party despite the fact that the house was spotless (maybe that’s what gave it away) because she’d find the smallest scuff mark on the wall, and we had no explanation on how it got there.

Here’s a rundown on how a few of the party’s went:

Party #1

~ Shots with friends at 6:30, just to get a head start before the REAL party started. The problem was, we were passed out before the party started, and I woke up after the party ended.

~ Found a small piece of white “paper” with a peace sign on it wrapped in tin foil. Just guess what that was? Flushed that puppy right down the toilet.

~ Found out later that some of my friends, friends, were doing lines of some white powdery substance on my parents glass table. Cleaned that with TONS of Windex.

~ Same friends of my friend chopped up some Smarties Candy and had her snort it.

~ Another friend passed out on the toilet puking. This is a regular thing at most parties, I know. But it’s still funny.

Party #2

~ Moshing in the family room.

~ Someone put his foot through my parent’s coffee table while moshing. (Actually it was a blessing in disguise since they’ve had that coffee table for 20 + years and it was time to go!)

~ Some drunk guy decided it was a good idea to start jumping from the second story balcony into the living room.

~ My Nirvana Nevermind CD got stolen. (That should give you some idea what year this was).

~ Drinking my dad’s booze and replacing it with water later.

~ Quarters. What’s a party with out quarters?

~ Moving furniture out into the garage so no more would get ruined. Especially the glass table.

~ Breaking a very expensive ceramic floral arrangement on the way out to the garage. My mom noticed the crack from where I attempted to glue it back together, two weeks later. I was sooooo busted!

~ Made $5 from recycling the cans and bottles from the party.

Party #3

~ Shots of tequila, vodka, gin or anything hard we could find that wasn’t too diluted from the last party.

~ Filled those bottles back up with water.

~ Sister smashing a beer can on her forehead.

~ That left the hugest round bruise on her forehead for over a week!

~ I flipped a guy on his back by doing some Karate move with his arm. I don’t think I could ever do that again if I tried.

~ Attempted to smoke pot using a beer can with holes. It didn’t work very good.

~ Rest of the night…..Total Blank.


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