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THE WORLD THROUGH MY EYES

You may see things differently, but this is how I view my life.

9/05/2003

This Makes Me Feel Like a Supa Staa!

I just love this game. Getting asked questions, is like your a star and you're being interviewed by a reporter for US Magazine or something. You know me, I don't hold back. In fact, sometimes I say too much. The wonderful Indigo Steve asked me these great questions:

1. What's your favorite drink to order at a bar? I have a few. I like to mix it up a little. Raspberry Kamikaze, Margarita on the rocks, and for beer I love Hefenweizen or Corona with lemon.

2. Is the glass half empty or half full? I think I asked Sassy this question. I am an optimist but also a realist. I always think the glass is half full.

3. You get pulled over for doing ninety in a sixty-five. How do you get out of it? Shit, I wish I could get out of it. I’ve had 3 speeding tickets in the past 3 years. Unfortunately, cops will give pretty girls tickets. Because if they don’t, they’ll have a sexual harassment report on their hands with the girl saying he only pulled her over to check her out. (I know, I’ve dated cops). But since this is a hypothetical question, I’ll just make something up. Then next time I get pulled over I’ll try it. So I get pulled over, and I’m wearing a button down shirt, and a skirt. I’ll unbutton the shirt a few buttons, and hike the skirt up a little to show some more leg. Then I’ll flirt like hell with him and play dumb! When he asks me if I know how fast I was going, I’ll say “Oh, I’m sorry, I really wasn’t paying attention”. And when he says, “Maam, you realize the speed limit is 65 don’t you”? I’ll flip my hair back, lick my lips then smile at him and say “ You mean it’s not 90”?! then I’ll look at his gun, “WOW that sure is a big gun you’ve got there, hey, does this mean I get to be frisked?” Then he’ll give me a warning and a pass to drive as fast as I want!

4. Facial hair on guys. Pro or con? Definately PRO. Give me a picture of the same guy, one with facial hair, the other with out, and I'll take the guy with just about everytime. I’ve always liked guys with facial hair. My ex husband had a goatee and Jerry has a fu-man-chu mustache. I think it makes a man, well, more manly. I’m into the blue collar guys rather than the white collar guys. I like to know that a man can take care of things around the house if something were to go wrong. And both of them can fix ANYTHING!

5. Does size really matter? HELL YA IT DOES! Sorry guys, but when a girl says that it doesn’t, that means you have a small one and she’s being polite. I mean, a guy does need to know how to work it, but size is a very important factor. There is also such a thing as too big. What’s the point if you can’t use it all. I tell Jerry this all the time because he’s never satisfied with how big his unit is. And I think he’s got the most perfect unit I’ve ever had. It doesn’t matter what I say to him. I think it’s a guy thing. But I tell him, if it’s too big, what the hell are you going to do with the rest that you can’t use? Who the fuck cares if it doesn’t hang to your knees?

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