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THE WORLD THROUGH MY EYES

You may see things differently, but this is how I view my life.

4/20/2004

THE DAY I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR!

Since my last posting, A TON of stuff has happened. Fuckhead was arrested on Saturday, April 10. The charges: 3 felony charges all related to GTA (Grand Theft Auto), and 2 misdemeanor charges related to the possession of a concealed firearm and the purchase of a stolen weapon.

Just as we were leaving to go to my parents house for Easter dinner, I get a call from Fuckhead’s dad to let me know that he just got a call from Fuckhead and he’s in jail. My response “Good! That’s exactly where he needs to be”. I know that may have been a very insensitive response, but that’s how I feel about it. It’ll give him some time to think about things and the direction his life has taken. He still hadn’t called the kids, and it had been over a month since anyone has heard from him. I told the kids that their daddy was in jail, and their reaction was “At least he’s alive.”

I couldn’t see any point of lying to them, because I knew with the charges he’s facing and with the prior stuff that he’d never taken care of, he was facing doing some time in jail, and I would eventually have to take the kids to see him. They asked what he was in for, I just told them that he got into trouble and if they want to know more, that’s for their dad to tell them. I didn’t feel that I should be responsible for explaining anymore than that to them. Especially for the fear that I would say the wrong thing. The kids were just happy to know that he’s ok now.

In other news…..
Jerry and I have been getting the back yard ready for the birthday party we had planned. We went from dirt and weeds to beautiful green, instant grass! This was a MAJOR project that took more than a month! We had those nasty goat head weeds all over our backyard and those suckers would end up in the house. It got to the point where we couldn’t even walk barefoot in the house because we’d step on one of those suckers because it was stuck in the carpet.

Jerry got the weed killer and sprayed the shit out of all of them, then he roto-tilled the backyard when he’d get home from work. Then he raked the rocks out and flattened the yard. When that was done, he put sprinklers in and then we laid saud. Now, we don’t have your typical “track house” yard. We have one of the largest yards in the entire housing track. Just about 1/3 of an acre. Now, we didn’t do the entire yard, but we did a very large portion. The parts we didn’t do is where the 5th Wheel is parked, and we left a few areas where we are eventually going to pour concrete or lay bricks where the boat will be parked. Our dog’s dream as finally come true and she LOVES the grass.

THE PARTY
We did all that work because we were having a joint birthday party for Jerry and me. My birthday was April 14th and Jerry’s is May 3rd. Only 2 weeks apart. And since his family was coming from “The OC”, we made it a joint b-day party, only it WAS mostly about me, because I turned the big “three oh!”

The party was almost a disaster because the one day out of the last month that there was rain, was on the day of my party! We had done all that work so we could have the party in our back yard, and it was cold and raining. I was almost in tears for most of the day. We finally decided to clean out the garage and have the party in there. It actually worked out better than I expected.

My friend Hector DJ’d the party and he was awesome! That boy can mix! Let me tell you, I’ve been to many club where the DJ’s mixes were totally off beat and you end up doing some funky move and look briefly like you’re at a Junior High dance because the beats are so messed up. Not my Hector! This boy was a mixen’ fool!

We started the party early because we just knew the cops would show up at 10:30, and we didn’t realize that you get 2 warnings! Well, our first warning came as expected. The cop was cool, I personally talked to him in my most buzzed, bubbly self, and explained that it was my 30th Birthday party. It was funny, because they showed up just as were were all in the house doing the cake, and the DJ had stopped playing the music. So things were very much in control at that time.

He informed us that they’ll come out one more time, and if they have to come out a third time, someone will be arrested if the neighbors want to do a citizen’s arrest. After the cops left, we shut the garage door to contain most of the noise. That worked out pretty well.

OH! I almost forgot! I finally met THE OTHER APRIL in person! She came to my party and brought me the sexiest undies I’ve every seen! Plus, SHE personally made them. They are beaded G strings! And you unhook the beads to wash the panties. How cool is that?! She’s so talented it makes me sick. But anyways, THANK YOU SO MUCH APRIL, FOR COMING TO MY PARTY! We’ll have to get together again real soon!

Around 1 am, almost everyone had left, with the exception of a few of my best friends. So Hector asked if we’d like him to pack it up. Jerry said that’s probably a good idea, but requested one last song and asked him to blast it as loud as he could without hurting the speakers. The cops haven’t come yet, so we figured we’d use our last chance up. Hector started the song, blaring it as loud as he could, Jerry proceeded to open the garage door so that the entire neighborhood could hear. Just as the garage door went up ½ way, we noticed the cops had already arrived. Jerry quickly closed the garage door and told Hector to keep playing. We all continued to dance and hoot and holler as the cops were banging on every door in the house. When the song was over, we opened the garage door and acted surprised to see them! We informed them that it was the last song and everyone was going to go home now. That was the best party ever!

So on Sunday, the day after the party, I had my parents bring the kids home so that I could take them to see their dad. Just as I was getting dressed, I got a collect call from him. This was the first call I’ve received from him in over a month and he was acting as if nothing was wrong. Here was our conversation:

FH: Hey
Me: Hey, what’s going on?
FH: Oh nothing.
(pause)
Me: Soooo, why are you calling?
FH: I was calling to see how the kids are doing.
Me: They are doing good, would you like to see them?
FH: (sounding very happy that I said that) Hell yah!
Me: Well, I’m brining them to visit you at 3.
FH: Oh cool! That’s awesome! Thank you.
Me: We’ll see you then.

Fuckhead is in Temecula, which is about an hour drive from our house. I knew the kids would want to see their dad, and being the nice mom that I am, I had planned this trip since I found out where he was going to be housed. He’s doing 130 days for his previous stuff, so I expect he’ll be there for a while.

This was my first visit to see an inmate at a jail, so it was a new experience for me. He was sitting on the other side of the plexi – glass and you talked to each other through the phone. Just like in the movies. I told the kids that I wanted to speak to him first. I really had a lot to say to him. So I let him have it. Telling him that I didn’t care what kind of shit he was into, that he has no right not contacting the kids, letting them know that he’s ok and that he still loves them.

He told me that he doesn’t deserve them. And I told him that he’s right, but that doesn’t mean that the kids don’t need their father in their life. And it was VERY selfish of him to do that. I said a bunch of other stuff to him as well, and he half ass explained what happened. He couldn’t get into much detail since he could incriminate himself. But I really laid into him before the kids talked to him. We stayed for about an hour. The kids were happy to see their dad and he promised to write to them, only I had to put money on his books so he could buy supplies to write to them.

I’ll get into more detail another time about what he said to me, but this is already 3 pages in MS Word and my fingers hurt. Sorry for the book, but damn I had a lot to write about!

4/07/2004

UPDATE ON FUCKHEAD

Unfortunately, there isn't anything to update you all on, because we still haven't heard from him. It's actually really sad. The kids have stopped asking for him. My daugher went to a slumber party last saturday and cried about it to her friends, but that's the last time the kids have been upset that he's not even calling.

For some reason, I felt compelled to respond to Mark who left a really nasty comment on my last post. Here's my response to him:

Hi Mark,

I'm the writer of the blog "TMI About April" and I just wanted to respond to your comment. I don't know why I'm wasting my time with this, but for some reason I felt compelled to respond.

First of all, you don't even know me, and try to tell a 10 year old that see's her dad drinking every night that it's no big deal. She understands A LOT more than you think. I don't bash my ex husband in front of her. And if she SEE'S whats going on, and starts asking questions, it's my job to explain things to her as best as I can, without trying to make her dad look like the ass that he is. She knows something is going on when her dad hasn't called her in 3 weeks.

Secondly, I didn't drive him to drink. He was an alchoholic BEFORE I met him. Only I was too young to realize it until we were married. I strongly believe that the reason why he's doing drugs and drinking everynight NOW is because he lost the best thing that ever happened to him and he knows it!

Anyways, you don't know me, I don't know you, but I know that I'm a pretty cool person and a good mom. I may not always do the right things or make the best choices in life, but hell, I'm human!