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You may see things differently, but this is how I view my life.



Unfortunately, it's not me getting married......YET. However, one of my best friends, Jenill, and her soon-to-be-husband, Joey, is getting married today. They have been together since they were 13. They are both 28 now. So you do the math, it's been a long time coming. They had a break during high school, but have been together for a very long time.

I'm not in the wedding, because when they decided on their wedding party, I'd only known Jenill for about a year at the time. She chose her two sisters and close friends that she's known forever to be in her wedding. So, because I'm not actually in the wedding, she's reserving David and I front row seats, and I volunteered to take care of her dog (who is going to be in the wedding) during the ceremony, and then take it back to her mom's house after the ceremony. They got Bubba a tux bib. How cute is that?

Jenill and Joey are the funest couple to be friends with. I highly recomend inviting them to your next party. Chances are Joey will pass out and you can write things all over him like "909 Fag" or "I like Men" all over his body and he will never know it. Jenill will totally help too!

Congratulations Jenill and Joey! I love you guys!



So Woz brought me the business card of this guy he met yesterday:

Trampus Grindstaff!

How awesome is that?


I’ve been waiting to post this, due to the fact that a picture would make this story so much better.

David has been driving my car for the past 2 weeks. He needed his truck one weekend, and since we've been storing it at my parents house in Yucaipa (hour and a half away). He had to drive to my parents house to pick up the truck, and leave his car, which he uses for work, at my parents house. So I've been driving the truck to work, since it's much more economical for him to drive my car.

Since David has been driving my car, I haven’t been able to take pictures of it. I know it doesn’t sound like that big of a deal that David has been driving my car around, (picking up clients and business associates and going to company functions), but after I describe my car, then the story gets a lot better.

Here’s a detailed description of my car: 2001 Ford Escape. I have 4 stickers on my car. On the top of the back window is a Butterfly with flames inside the wings and tribal on each side in silver glitter. On the same window, but on the left side bottom corner, is my 909 Princess sticker, complete with the crown. Again, it is silver glitter. Then on the drivers side back window, in silver glitter, is a girl riding a dirt bike. She has long hair coming out of the helmet. On the passenger side in hot pink glitter, is the same girl riding a quad. So if you were to pass by my car, you would definitely know that a girl drives this car.

Interior: Leopard print car seat covers, leopard print mats, matching steering wheel cover, and leopard dice with a black feather string that hang from the rear view mirror.

Now picture a GUY driving around in this car. You’ve never met him before, or have only briefly met him. You see him. You see the car. What conclusion would you make?



I walked into the printing room yesterday morning to be greeted by Bob & Woz. Bob then proceeded to show me Woz’s extremely hairy chest, and commented that it was just like Austin Powers. I had to agree. I was very surprised on how hairy poor Woz was.

Later that day, Woz and I were working together on a report and he commented on how he was at the beach over the weekend and that he was probably the hairiest guy on the beach. So, being the helpful co-worker that I am, I clued him in that it is OK and totally NOT Metro Sexual to trim that shit every so often, and that girls actually LIKE a guy who is trimmed. I told him it’s not necessary to go as far as waxing, although it is probably a good idea to wax the back, but just trimming the chest area is perfectly fine and encouraged.

Woz is 33, single, and clueless in some regards to what girls like. He will be a great catch to a lucky girl, and hopefully a little less hairy. I’m sure his next girlfriend will be thankful to my advice. I can only imagine what he’s got going on downstairs. He’ll never get a BJ with it looking like a jungle and approximately 17 years of hair growth. No girl wants to floss as she’s performing some oral gratification. I should of clued him in on that as well, but I might just be crossing the “sexual harassment” line with that suggestion. I’ll leave it alone, unless it falls into a conversation.

So guys, my suggestion to you is to trim that shit! Damn, I’m just full of great advice lately.

(You wouldn't believe all the gross things I had to see to find that picture, YUCK!)



Yes I know my man is a keeper. Thanks for your comments and approval. For those of you that have read my blog over the past few years, or even my archives, you know my history of bad luck with men. Both my ex-husband and ex-boyfriend were assholes. I’m talking, if you look up the word ASSHOLE in the dictionary, you will see a picture of FuckHead and WifeBeater right next to each other. You will also find FuckHead’s picture under the term “Dead Beat Dad”.

My theory to find the right guy is go to Laughlin, get drunk at The Tarzan Room in the Golden Nugget, and grab a cute guy who’s standing next to the dance floor. That’s what I did and it worked for me! I used to date online, and trust me, I met plenty of guys via the internet. In fact, I should write a book about it. (Although, I have made several friends because of the internet. Such as Eclectic Blonde . But we didn’t date ;-) )

Some of you may be in the dating scene and I’m sure have tried Yahoo Personals, Match.com, E-Harmony or others, and with the new Hooking Up show that’s out, I thought this would be an appropriate post and hopefully helpful to some of you.

Upon making initial contact with a prospective date, I would definitely do a background check. See if you can get his full name and an address. Run credit, criminal and check references. See if you can get any former girlfriends phone numbers to see if he’s ever given them crabs, herpies, gonorrhea, syphilis, or any other nasty genital disease. I’m sure she’d be more than happy to relay this information to you. Or maybe she was the one who passed it onto him. So you should ask her about that too.

No seriously…. I’ve never done that. At $39.99 a pop, it can get very pricey. But I would recommend it, because I never would have gone out with Wife Beater in the first place. However, some counties do post public records online for anyone to view. Just do a search for your counties court website and do a little digging. In California, Riverside and San Bernardino County’s both post public records. All traffic, criminal, family and civil court cases are posted. All you need is a name. This information is all free!
My very first and most important rule about meeting someone online is to meet in a public place. Preferably in a restaurant for lunch during the work week. I can’t even tell you how many free lunches I got by doing this. Plus it was much safer then having them pick me up at my house and brutally murdering me. Or being committed for an entire evening with someone that lied in their profile and posted a picture of his cute friend but this guy he really weighs 300 lbs and is 5’ 5”, balding and lives with his mother who owns 50 cats, which you can immediately tell, because he smell as though he used cat urine for cologne to impress you that he likes cats.

All I'm saying is be careful who you pick or you could end of dating Wife Beater

Was it wrong to do that? Fuck it.



We had an awesome weekend. David wasn't too excited about the drive, but he knew it was important to me, so he came along with just a little complaining. He's only been around my family once, prior to this trip, and he had a good time, so I just reminded him of this. The only difference was instead of a 9 hour drive to Sacramento, we would be taking a 4 hour drive to Bakersfield. Much better if you ask me.

My dad busted out the old home movies beginning when he was a teenager up to recent, covering from when my parents first got married and most my childhood. He was converting all the VHS home movies to DVD, so David got to see my Grandma. Even though he wasn't able to meet her in person, he got a taste on how important she was to our family. It was very emotional seeing her in the home movies, but it also made it feel as though she was there with us.

David suffered through hours and hours of home movies. Well, I thought he was suffering, but he actaully enjoyed watching them almost as much as I did. It was fun seeing how dorky I was when I was a kid, and now he has a better understanding of where I come from and how I grew up, and how I became such a dork! (Although I have to remind him that he's just as dorky as I am, he's just in denial about it.)

My aunt and uncle that live in Sacramento, invited all of David's family to come visit. They of course love David, and thought it would be fun to have his family come visit. They don't know what they are asking for, and I tried to warn them, but they still insisted. So that will be the next family trip that we plan.



We’re leaving tonight to go to my hometown where I was born and raised….. Bakersfield, California. I know it’s nothing to brag about, but I have no control on where I was born. This will be David’s first time accompanying me to Bakersfield, so it will be a definite experience for him, especially if he meets my drunk aunt. I’ve already warned him about her, and made it loud and clear that in no way, shape or form does her comments or actions reflect upon me. She tends to get a bit out of control and comes up with off the wall shit.

It’s a sentimental trip for me, because every July, up until 2003, my whole family got together at my grandparents house to celebrate my Grandma, Aunt and Dad’s birthday. Their birthdays were one right after the other, so it was always a good excuse to get together. My Grandma passed on June 9, 2003. I can’t remember if we got together in July of that year or not. But I know we missed last year.

My other Aunt, who I totally adore sent this email today in remembrance of my Grandma:

Mom lives on in our hearts and minds - we know that. Isn't this an awesome picture, not because of the beautiful women in it, but because of Mom's sewing machine being used? Amanda made a skirt for her sister, Lisa, on her Grandma's sewing machine - how awesome is that?

My prayer this morning was that the Lord would wrap His loving arms around Mom on her birthday, smothering her with His love - for I know she is with Him. That gives me great comfort and I hope it does for you, too. Mom lives on and is still blessing us.

I love you all so much and I can't wait to see you this weekend.

Aunt K.

Ok I need to stop crying. I’m at work. But I do miss my Grandma very much. I can picture her sitting at the table next to the window watching the birds eat the food she put out for them that morning, while working on her Crossword puzzle. I really wish David and DJ got to meet her, she was such a special person in my life.



By request of The OC Girl

I was a horrible child and did tons of bad stuff. My parents provided my sister and I with very little supervision and free reign of the neighborhood at a pretty young age (something like 9 or 10). I’ll start with the “good” memories and gradually go to the bad.

Hawaii! At age 12, we went on a family vacation with my grandparents and my older cousin (who was a bad influence). We came back with tons of silly expressions that we made up on the road to Hanna, in which we still use today.

Damn Near County. This was a band that my parents managed. They practiced in our garage and most of them were smokers and left cigarette butts outside the garage. I used to smoke them.

The Playhouse. We had a big red playhouse in our back yard. I used to light fires in the playhouse. I was quite a little arson. Once I light a fire that almost got out of control. I don’t remember exactly what chemicals I was burning, but I do remember that when I poured water on the fire, it flared up so high that it wrapped around the ceiling. Luckily, (and I’m not sure exactly how) I was able to put it out.

TP-ing the house across the street. We lived in a cul-de-sac. I had some friends over spending the night. Someone got the bright idea of toilet papering the house right across the street from us. We didn’t hold back. We used all the classic TP-ing tricks we could think of, and came up with some new ones such as pouring ketchup on a maxi pad and sticking it to the window of their car. We got caught, and I was grounded forever.

Vandalizing the Church at the end of the cul-de-sac. We would break into the Church (which was also a nursery school), using butter knives. We threw confetti all over the chapel, stole boxes of Ding Dongs from the nursery, got up on the roof, threw pickles at each other (the pickles ended up everywhere) etc.

I was such a bad kid. It was the neighborhood kids that showed us how to brake into the Church.


I came home last night to find David on the couch waiting for our “I haven’t seen you all day” cuddle. This is a nightly ritual where I lay next to him and shower him with kisses. Then as we’re spooning, he kisses me ever so softly on my head while caressing my arm and hair. These are the moments I live for. I will then turn over and shower him with more kisses. As I’m doing this he says to me “You are so beautiful. Why do you make me love you so much”?

Ok. Is your heart melting like mine is? This my friends, is why I’m stupid for feeling one bit of insecurity. I know the man loves me, probably as much as I love him (if that’s even possible). So I asked him “Did you read my blog today”?



For some reason, I have quite a bit of insecurities, and I don’t understand where they are coming from. I fight them all the time, and swallow my feelings, because in my head I know I’m being silly, but still I get that knot in my stomach, so I try to focus on other things instead of misinterpreting what’s being said.

For example:

Last night, David called me while on his way home from The OC. We were just talking about everyday stuff, then the Bachelor Party came up and we started talking about the strippers. I was totally cool throughout the entire conversation, while he was telling me how hot one of the strippers was, not that I minded that, but then he said that she was the type of girl who looked like a stripper, (kind of like Pam Anderson, all fake and everything) that if you brought around your buddies, they be all high fiving you, because you have the hottest girlfriend and you’d be The Man. But all of your friends girlfriends would be haters. Honestly, I want to be that girl that his friends high five because she's so hot. I don't want to look like a stripper, but it would be fun to be the girl his friends want but can't have. (I know, I'm sick).

I’m know I’m a pretty girl, but in no way, shape or form do I look anything like those girls. This is where my insecurities come in. And the fact that David asked me to strip for him the other night when we got busy for an entire hour. Luckily I was drunk at the time (after having a few glasses of wine with my coolest neighbor ever) and didn’t really care how dorky I looked and did a little strip tease for him. Now being sober, it’s an entirely different story. I feel fat (don’t most women?) and awkward.

I can dance just fine in a club where there’s music and alcohol, but stripping is a whole different animal. I can understand him wanting me to strip for him. I’m his fiancé, and he’s a man and men are very visual. But how can I feel comfortable stripping for him, after he’s gone to a Bachelor party where a girl who actually does this for a living, stripped for him. I’d look like an entire goof ball, and the last thing I want to happen is for him to laugh at me for looking like a dork. Plus in the back of my mind, I’d be wondering if he is comparing me to her.

Like I said, these are insecurities that I’m dealing with, and fighting. I don’t want to say something and make him feel as though he can’t tell me stuff. That is a very important part about our relationship that I treasure. I tell him stuff that I wouldn’t even dare to tell any other guy that I’ve been with, and that’s something else that I think about when I’m felling insecure. It can’t be a double standard. Lord knows, I’ve got things from my past that would probably make him feel a little jealous.

I guess what it really comes down to is the fact that I want to be the only girl David fantacises about and it hurts to know that he fantacises about other girls. I know this is impossible, because he's a man and there are millions of pretty girls out there. Girls who are prettier than me, who will do ANYTHING to get attention. I just have to keep myself in check, because I'm the one he loves, the one he gave his heart (and a ring ;-) to. I'm the one who he comes home to everynight and makes feel so very specail with all of his hugs and kisses.



So I started writing this post about how I hung out with my coolest neighbor ever and her friends, intead of working out, and how we drank wine and danced and laughed. And the awesome sex I had with David last night, that lasted for an hour after I got home from hanging with the coolest neighbor ever. The words were flowing, and I was really happy about what I was saying and how it was coming together perfectly. But then, MS Word crashed and the post got lost before I could copy and paste it into Blogger. Now I can't re-write it, the way it had begun. The words are lost and I can't seem to find the enthusiasm I had when I began writing it. Sucks!



I finally talked David into going to Joey’s Bachelor Party on Saturday night. I had to fight all jealousy and insecurities I had to let him go. It wasn’t easy for me, but I think I’ve pulled it off. The last thing I want is to make David feel as though I don’t trust him, or most importantly, be uncool about letting him do "GUY" things without me. He doesn’t think it’s my style to be that way, although I did unintentionally show him that side the other night. It’s something I’m working on. I know he loves me and would never do anything to jeopardize my trust or our relationship.

David came home around 4:30 am Sunday morning. I missed him so much that I had to jump his bones before he fell asleep. I knew he was tired, but I’d been up all night waiting for him, lying in bed tossing and turning. I can’t sleep without him.

When we woke up (at 1 pm) I immediately started asking questions. I knew some good shit must have happened, because Joey and his friends are all 28 year old men with mentalities of 16 year old boys. But, because there is that Bachelor Party Code of Secretsey, all he would tell me was:

The first two strippers (and I’m using the term loosely, because he later revealed that they could have been hookers) were ugly, and didn’t know what the hell to do other than give massages. Who gives massages at a Bachelor Party other than hookers? I told David they probably specialized in full frontal massages. They were sent away, and four more strippers came throughout the night. One was drunk off her ass.

And that one of Joey’s friends passed out face first on the front lawn and was spray painted with bright orange construction paint on his back. He woke up wile being painted and proceeded to throw blows.

That’s all the dirt David would reveal. I was quite disappointed. I came home from the Bachelorette party telling David EVERYTHING and he didn’t say shit! Luckily, Jenill called me later in the day and told me everything Joey told her and about the aftermath.

Joey came home around 4:30 Sunday morning wearing nothing but a belt, boots and his hand over his balls. Apparently they had cut his pants and underwear off of him and thrown them in the fire.

One of the strippers played “Feed the Kitty” with some liquorish and a blow pop. Joey ate the liquorish. (GROSS!!!!)

Jenill also told me that the guy who got spray painted had the gall to call her and tell her that the guy who spray painted him owed him a new couch, because he went home and forgot his back was painted and he sat on his couch.

Since Joey had told Jenill about what he could remember about the party, David felt that that gave him the go-ahead to tell me more:
Joey had already puked three times before the first set of strippers even showed up. Joey was sitting in a chair and the “Hot & Sober” stripper did some kind of acrobatics and ended up with her legs in a Y in Joey’s face. Well the “Drunk and Not-So-Hot” stripper jumped on the two of them and they went flying backwards on the chair and the “Drunk and Not-So-Hot” stripper cracked her head on the entertainment center. She ended up in one of the bedrooms with an ice pack on her forehead.

The night was full of comedy and I knew it would be, knowing Joey and his group of friends. I would have been really bummed had I not known all the funny stuff that went on. I knew David wouldn’t do anything, but that still didn’t keep me from feeling insecure about it. I was able to hide it from David and be cool about everything, just like I should be.



Saturday night was all about the Bachelorette. Since she didn’t join us Friday night, we had some making up to do. First we started by plastering her room with men and penises. Lot’s and lot’s of men and their penises and of course the blow up doll with the 18” penis. The only gross thing about it was they got the pictures from gay porn magazines. So I saw men doing things to each other, that I’ve never seen before. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

After having quite a few cocktails decorating Jenill’s room, and surprising her with all the penises in her room, we went downstairs to the Pub for dinner. If you haven’t been to the Monte Carlo Pub, I highly recommend it. Every time I’ve gone there, it’s been a blast! This time was no let down, except for the fact we had to high tail it out of there at 10:30 in order to catch our ride to OG (Olympic Garden). More about that later…. Back to The Pub. We walk in, and the first thing we run into was a Bachelor Party. Well, Jenill had a spinner on her chest, where the guys could spin and follow the instructions of the spinner. Our first victim spun, and it said “Dance with a friend”. Since I was standing closest to the guy, he took me, spun me around then dipped me all the way to the floor. It was quite fun.

We sat at our table, and my sister quickly checked the room for the next victim, which happened to be a really hot guy from San Jose. He was a good sport, and all the girls loved him. I think he spun “Dance With a Friend” too. But I barely remember because at this point I has pretty hammered. I think my sister danced with him, and then Carrie (who by the way is married) stole him from my sister (being the attention whore that she is), which really pissed me off. This was just the beginning of her pissing me off for the rest of the night. Now don’t get me wrong, I love the girl. She’s been one of my best friends for something like 16 years. (Holy shit, has it been that long?) And we’ve gone through a lot of shit together. Marriage, kids, divorce, dealing with ex’s, I mean EVERYTHING. But that doesn’t mean I can’t be mad at her for a night. I got over it.

I get a call around 10:15, our driver calls to tell me that he’s waiting for us already. We were trying to get our bill. I finally get all the girls out the door, and of course they have to say good bye to the guys, get off the dance floor, go pee, etc. We were late getting on the party bus and our driver was not happy. We were a pretty wild bunch on the party bus. Girls who tried dancing in the isle, quickly realized that wasn’t a good time, when the driver came to a stop and the girls all fell.

We finally arrived at OG, paid the $20 cover charge, and we got bombarded by strippers. They all swooped on us like fat kids on cake. (I was going to use “fly’s on shit” but that would mean we were the shit, didn’t sound good. I’d rather be cake). I think we all had the word “Suckers” written on our foreheads, because I know those dudes could hustle a Bachelorette Party down to our last dollar bill. Only they don’t take dollar bills, they take $20’s. I’ve NEVER EVER been to a strip club. Oh, I take that back, I went to one in Ensenada, but that was just for a laugh.

Jenill sat down, and I immediately put dollar bills all over her. Well, had I known, it’s going to take more than just dollar bills to get the strippers to give her a lap dance I would have saved my money. It was like extra tips for them, when they make $20 every five minutes. Being a rookie to strip clubs, this was an eye opener to never go back. It would have been way cheaper to go to a night club and buy myself $10 drinks all night. I left the club with $11, just enough cab fare to get us back to our hotel.

Anyways, Jenill got up on stage and got the dance of her life, by the hottest guy in the club. It was a lot of fun, and as long as Jenill had a good time, then that’s all that matters.

After OG, we met Sam at the Mandalay Bay. He got us into this exclusive “pool party”, but it was actually a swingers party. Apparently, there was a “swingers” convention at the hotel, and they were having a party, by the pool. There was a girl walking into the party with one of those electric marquee belts, which she programmed to read “Fuck Me”. Nice huh? We decided to check it out. We walked in, some of us got drinks, danced for a few minutes then left. There really wasn’t too much to see other than some girls dancing and rubbing on each other. We were kind of out of place since we weren’t dressed like hookers.

Then we went to the club at the top of Mandalay Bay, which has an awesome view of the strip. Sam was supposed to be able to hook us up with VIP at that club too, but could only get 6 of us in. He was being a dick about it, so we decided to not go in. Then the maid of honor, paid the girl to let us in, only she wouldn’t let Sam in at this point. We all went up and Sam got left behind. By this time, it was getting pretty late and my feet were hurting. I found a spot to sit down with Franchesca. She was talking to a couple guys, who turned out to be very nice and married. Perfect and harmless.

Carrie was still out of control dancing with a guy and a girl who invited her back to their room. (Remember I mentioned there was a swingers convention) Carrie got totally offended, even though she was grinding on both of them just two seconds earlier. We finally left, got breakfast and went back to our rooms about 4 am.

My goal on Sunday was to just get out of Vegas and get back to see my hunny. I missed him like CRAZY! We left Vegas around 1 pm and I got home around 7:30, exhausted. I was so exhausted that I took Monday off and slept and did laundry, which is why I didn’t post on Monday. It was a much needed day off.



I figured since I had a ton to write about, I would do it in segments. For one, so it won't be so long to read, and two, I'm so busy right now, I don't exactly have an hour to write about everything that happened in one sitting.


We arrived Friday night at the Monte Carlo around 10:30 pm. I had been on the road pretty much since 11:30 am, after leaving work, running errands, picking up the kids, dropping off the kids, stopping for stuff, picking up my sister, stopping again, picking up Susie, and finally getting on the road. I had my sister drive from Rancho cushioning to Vegas, since I'd already been driving off and on for about 5 hours.

I started drinking in Barstow at about 7 pm. I did this because I spoke with Jenill and she was already hammered and I had some catching up to do. When we arrived at the Monte Carlo, I had a pretty good buzz going on. We went up to Jenill's room, and she met us there shortly after. She was REALLY hammered at this point. So much so that she passed out before going to the club. We expected the rest of the girls to be with her, only they went downstairs to play the tables. We found Francesca, and caught a cab to Club Risque in the Paris Hotel.

Sam (David's friend) had hooked us up with VIP, so we met Sam at the club around midnight. We danced with a bunch of guys from a bachelor party. They were nice guys. I of course showed off my bling right away, so that they didn't try any funny stuff. Plus, I love showing off my new bling anyways. The guys hooked us up with a few drinks, and after dancing for hours, I realized that not only was I really hammered, my feet hurt like hell.

I sat in the bachelor's "reserved" area and talked with one of the guys and showed him pictures of my man and kids that were on my phone. Meanwhile, Sam I guess realized he wasn't going to get any action from any of my friends, so he bailed without even saying good bye. Susie, met a boy in which she made out with all night, and didn't come back to the room until about 7:30 am. My sister, kissed Sam's friend, who was totally her type, and very cute. Only he said to her "I work out, can you tell". I laughed my ass off when she told me that. I mean, who says that?

After having some very expensive French toast, in which Sam's friend paid for, we made it back to the room around 5:30 am, for about 3 hours of sleep.


I know I haven't posted about my Vegas Trip. I'm just trying to put it all into words, which is going to take a while, since there is so much that happened. Here's a Teaser:

Penises everywhere
Blowup Doll
Hot Men

I'll tell the entire story tomorrow. Here's a cute pic of me and my sis from Saturday night.



Will be posted here on Monday.

I’m leaving today to go to Vegas for Jenill’s Bachelorette Party. This weekend will be full of alcohol, dancing, eating, more alcohol, maybe a penis wiggeling in Jenill’s face here and there. I’m sure by Monday, I will be recovering from my weekend at work. Luckily the guys here will be understanding.

David’s friend Sam is hooking us up with VIP at a few clubs, so we won’t be waiting in line forever to get in. Needless to say, I will be partying with one of David’s best friends during at the bachelorette party in Vegas. Which, I don’t care, because he’s our hookup and it’s not like I would ever do ANYTHING to jeopardize my perfect relationship.

Poor David is being stuck with the kids this weekend. I asked Fuckhead (my ex husband) if he wanted to have them this weekend, but he was being a dick saying “I thought you weren’t comfortable with having the kids stay with me” instead of saying “Hell yes, I’ll take them for the weekend” and being cool about it. So when he gives me an attitude like that, like hell if I’m going let him have the kids for the weekend.

I might need to explain something about that here…… I’m ok if it’s just for a few days, but a week at a time, I’m not comfortable with. I’m not even all that comfortable with a weekend here or there, but I really don’t think he’d be stupid enough to go back to how he was a year ago.

Because Fuckhead was being such a dick, David said he would just have the kids for me. It’s his weekend to spend with D.J., anyways. We just had a lot of logistical planning to do, because David is having the rearend of his 55 Chevy Truck redone, and he pulled out the motor to paint it last weekend, and he has to reattach it to the transmission and take it back to the guy who’s rebuilding the rearend by Saturday morning. The fact that David doesn’t mind that I’m going to a Bachelorette party in Vegas is great in it’s self, because Wife Beater never in a million years would of let me go. But to take care of my kids while I’m gone, and to figure out how to make it happen so that I can go, says something all in it’s self. This is why I want to marry the man. He goes out of his way to make me happy, and we have complete trust in each other.

I’m leaving work at 10:30 today, when I was originally planning on leaving at noon. I’m only leaving early because the owner of my company is coming out and I’m wearing pink camo pants and flip flops. From what I was told, she will flip out, and there will be a company wide memo about proper work attire, all because of me. However, there still may be one going out since B. is wearing jeans. They aren’t even nice jeans. They are all frayed in different places. So I’ll let him be the cause of the memo, he’s worked here longer than me. Since I’m leaving earlier than expected, it gives me time to get my car washed and go shopping! Yeah!


I'm considering mailing him that letter. Not that it will do any good.


Dear Fuckhead (aka, The Ex Husband and father of my 2 kids),

Apparently you think raising kids is free. You must not realize the costs involved in having children and being able to take care of them. That must be why you haven’t given me a dime since November of 2003, which happens to be the first and only child support payment I have ever received.

You don’t understand why I don’t want the kids living with you. I guess you forgot that about the time one year ago, you were missing for an entire month, and never called the kids once. And when I figured you weren’t coming back, I went to the house you were sharing with Julie and got the kids stuff out of your filthy dirty room, where we found drug paraphernalia. That also happened to be the same room our kids slept. I’m sorry, but I don’t exactly call that a safe environment for the kids to be in.

When you were finally found, you were in jail and had been arrested for grand theft auto, and having possession of a concealed weapon. You spent about 6 months in jail. Surely if you were in my shoes you would have concerns.

Also, another reason I don’t feel as though the kids should stay with you is the fact that since you obviously don’t think they cost any money, then what are they going to eat? I think I have a valid point here. Last time I checked, food does cost money, and kids, well, they need to eat food. I hope you understand this now that I’ve explained it.

I understand that I’m sure by now I make much more money than you do, considering that you are only working part time for some old lady doing handyman stuff. Not that you’re not capable of making much more money than I do, considering you did have that great Union job, working in construction. I still can’t figure out why you’re not back in the Union, because surely if you are earning Union wages, you must be financially capable of helping to support your own children. Hell, your own mother feels guilty that you don’t help me out and buys the kids clothes. I know this is how she feels because she told my mom this. I guess she saw or heard about all the new clothes I had bought the kids when I got my tax return, because I did make it a point to tell her.

I know that you know as long as the kids are with me, they will always be well taken care of, and they will never go without anything. They may not always get what they want, but that’s just part of life. Because you know this, and that me and the kids aren’t on the street begging for food, you must figure we are doing fine without your help. Now that we have David in our lives, yes we will be doing just fine, but it’s not his financial responsibility to put clothes on their back, pay for child care or feed them. It’s yours.


The Mother of Your Children



My friend Jenill has a friend who is Autistic. Jenill and her fiancé Joey have known Ben for about 16 years, since they were about 13, and have always included him in their circle of friends. They treat him like he’s their little brother and look after him. I don’t know much about the disease, but Autistic people are definitely socially challenged.

Apparently Ben met a girl about 3 years ago at Jenill's graduation party. Well, this girl happens to be Bi-Polar. She got drunk and made out with him. Then they went to his car and she gave him a handy. I’m sure just about as soon as she touched him, the poor guy creamed his pants. Well, because of his “social challenges” he was so excited that he finally got with a girl, he ran into the party and announced what had just happened as though he was “The Man”. Because of her Bi-Polar disorder, she forgot what happened just about as soon as it happened. Three years later, he still talks about her.

Last Saturday night, we all went out for Jenill’s birthday. Of course Ben was there and the Bi-Polar girl was his only topic for the entire night, because he just found out that she's going to be at Jenill's 4th of July party. He was telling another one of Jenill’s friends about all these dirty things he wants to do to the Bi-Polar girl on the 4th and how he wonders if she would marry him. The poor boy really needs another handy. It's been 3 years for God's sake. Fran was quite encouraging of Ben pursuing the Bi-polar girl and encouraged him to hook up with her again, and agreed that they should get married. (Could you imagine?) But he was also reminded that Bi-Polar didn’t remember him either, so his chances with her didn’t look very good.

I just found out from Jenill that Bi-Polar didn't remember Ben. In fact she just said "It's nice to meet you". I said it would of been nice of her to help Ben out again, since she wouldn't even remeber the next day anyways.



Isn't it beautiful? David did an excellent job picking it out. In fact, it's perfect. I'm such a lucky girl.


I'M GETTING MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

David proposed last nite.

Of course I said yes. In fact, it may of been an "of course". All I know I was happy as hell and crying. This is how it happened:

He called me yesterday at work and said he wanted to have a romantic dinner at home. He'll go get some sushi, light some candles, and spoil me. Then he added that he wanted to record the evening and that he needed to find the tripod. Of course I was thinking he wanted to record us having monkey love in the kitchen or something. He actually sounded kind of hurt that I would think that's what he was up to. He explained that he wanted to have this night recorded so we could look back on it in 10 years and see how much we were in love and see how we looked. That it would be special.

I left work early yesterday and came home, kissed David then went to the gym and worked out for about 45 minutes. I came back home and took a bath to start getting ready for our romantic evening. While I was in the bath, my birth control patch came off. I just put it on Wednesday. I still had 5 days to wear it! I called the Pharmacy and they got an "emergency" patch ready for me to pick up.

Meanwhile, David is freaking out because he couldn't find the charger for the camcorder, or the tripod. I told him not to worry about it, we'll tape another romantic dinner another night. He said "NO, WE NEED TO RECORD TONIGHT, AND I'M NOT TAKING NO FOR AN ANSWER"! Ok then hunny, you keep looking for the charger, I'm going to go pick up my patch and then get the sushi. This gave him time to get everything set up.

I knew something was up. I called my sister and then called Jenill and told them both that I suspected that David was going to propose tonight because of how obsessed he was about the camcorder battery. I then added that I hope I didn't just jinx myself and get my hopes up for no reason. I promised to call as soon as it happened. If I don't call, then nothing happened.

When I got home, David poured me some wine, set out the sushi, and then as we were beginning to eat, he started recording. Luckily we had 10 minutes of battery time, so David had to act quick! He took one bite then excused himself to the restroom. He came back and said "Hunny, can I have a hug". I said "Of course you can have a hug". After the hug, he got down on his knee, pulled out the ring and said "Will you marry me".

I immediately began crying in happiness and he was like "We're recording and you haven't answered me yet". I don't remember if I said "Yes!" or "Of course I'll Marry you!" In my excitement, I grabbed the ring and put it on my finger. HOLY SMOKES the ring is BEAUTIFUL! 1kt solitaire princess cut. The thing sparkles like crazy.

Shortly after we finished our dinner, our neighbors from downstairs came up because they wanted to show off the new truck they just bought. Well, I had a better surprise to show them. So we went out for drinks in their new truck to celebrate our engagement. I'm the luckiest and happiest girl in the whole world. I can now say that because of David and the kids, my life is complete. I don't need anything else.

We are planning to get married Labor Day weekend of next year.

I'll be posting pictures of my ring very shortly.



Because of guys like my cousin (by marriage) Eric, and his friends, and other guys and women like him, we can sleep peacefully at night, get up and take the kids to school, go to work and live our lives how we see fit.

I would thnk that most of us know someone in the military, either based out of the US or stationed overseas. Eric just got sent out in April and I have to say, I've been really worried about him. His job is to find bombs and blow them up, before they blow up one of our troops or innocent victims. He sends me picutes all the time and I love it. He's such an optomistic person and never has a negative thing to say about where he's at, the war or his job. In fact, the guy LOVES his job. He is an insperation to me and I just pray he comes home safely so I can kick his ass at cards.

(That's Eric on the right with the fake beer can")

Those are some hard core gangstas, aren't they?