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You may see things differently, but this is how I view my life.



I finally talked David into going to Joey’s Bachelor Party on Saturday night. I had to fight all jealousy and insecurities I had to let him go. It wasn’t easy for me, but I think I’ve pulled it off. The last thing I want is to make David feel as though I don’t trust him, or most importantly, be uncool about letting him do "GUY" things without me. He doesn’t think it’s my style to be that way, although I did unintentionally show him that side the other night. It’s something I’m working on. I know he loves me and would never do anything to jeopardize my trust or our relationship.

David came home around 4:30 am Sunday morning. I missed him so much that I had to jump his bones before he fell asleep. I knew he was tired, but I’d been up all night waiting for him, lying in bed tossing and turning. I can’t sleep without him.

When we woke up (at 1 pm) I immediately started asking questions. I knew some good shit must have happened, because Joey and his friends are all 28 year old men with mentalities of 16 year old boys. But, because there is that Bachelor Party Code of Secretsey, all he would tell me was:

The first two strippers (and I’m using the term loosely, because he later revealed that they could have been hookers) were ugly, and didn’t know what the hell to do other than give massages. Who gives massages at a Bachelor Party other than hookers? I told David they probably specialized in full frontal massages. They were sent away, and four more strippers came throughout the night. One was drunk off her ass.

And that one of Joey’s friends passed out face first on the front lawn and was spray painted with bright orange construction paint on his back. He woke up wile being painted and proceeded to throw blows.

That’s all the dirt David would reveal. I was quite disappointed. I came home from the Bachelorette party telling David EVERYTHING and he didn’t say shit! Luckily, Jenill called me later in the day and told me everything Joey told her and about the aftermath.

Joey came home around 4:30 Sunday morning wearing nothing but a belt, boots and his hand over his balls. Apparently they had cut his pants and underwear off of him and thrown them in the fire.

One of the strippers played “Feed the Kitty” with some liquorish and a blow pop. Joey ate the liquorish. (GROSS!!!!)

Jenill also told me that the guy who got spray painted had the gall to call her and tell her that the guy who spray painted him owed him a new couch, because he went home and forgot his back was painted and he sat on his couch.

Since Joey had told Jenill about what he could remember about the party, David felt that that gave him the go-ahead to tell me more:
Joey had already puked three times before the first set of strippers even showed up. Joey was sitting in a chair and the “Hot & Sober” stripper did some kind of acrobatics and ended up with her legs in a Y in Joey’s face. Well the “Drunk and Not-So-Hot” stripper jumped on the two of them and they went flying backwards on the chair and the “Drunk and Not-So-Hot” stripper cracked her head on the entertainment center. She ended up in one of the bedrooms with an ice pack on her forehead.

The night was full of comedy and I knew it would be, knowing Joey and his group of friends. I would have been really bummed had I not known all the funny stuff that went on. I knew David wouldn’t do anything, but that still didn’t keep me from feeling insecure about it. I was able to hide it from David and be cool about everything, just like I should be.


At 12:22 PM, Blogger guest said...

Sounds like he had a blast. Good for you for trusting him. That's a good way to start a good relationship.

At 2:21 PM, Blogger Dirk the Feeble said...

This reminds me of the last time I went to church camp.

At 12:13 PM, Blogger Call Emily said...

You got secret info. Very good.

At 2:03 PM, Blogger appsdshell said...

Well, the "true" secret info came from the Bride-To-Be, all spilled by the Groom-to-Be, so I hardly consider it secret at that point.


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