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You may see things differently, but this is how I view my life.



I walked into the printing room yesterday morning to be greeted by Bob & Woz. Bob then proceeded to show me Woz’s extremely hairy chest, and commented that it was just like Austin Powers. I had to agree. I was very surprised on how hairy poor Woz was.

Later that day, Woz and I were working together on a report and he commented on how he was at the beach over the weekend and that he was probably the hairiest guy on the beach. So, being the helpful co-worker that I am, I clued him in that it is OK and totally NOT Metro Sexual to trim that shit every so often, and that girls actually LIKE a guy who is trimmed. I told him it’s not necessary to go as far as waxing, although it is probably a good idea to wax the back, but just trimming the chest area is perfectly fine and encouraged.

Woz is 33, single, and clueless in some regards to what girls like. He will be a great catch to a lucky girl, and hopefully a little less hairy. I’m sure his next girlfriend will be thankful to my advice. I can only imagine what he’s got going on downstairs. He’ll never get a BJ with it looking like a jungle and approximately 17 years of hair growth. No girl wants to floss as she’s performing some oral gratification. I should of clued him in on that as well, but I might just be crossing the “sexual harassment” line with that suggestion. I’ll leave it alone, unless it falls into a conversation.

So guys, my suggestion to you is to trim that shit! Damn, I’m just full of great advice lately.

(You wouldn't believe all the gross things I had to see to find that picture, YUCK!)


At 4:33 PM, Blogger mal said...

the way I figure it, any one who plugs the shower drain more than I do is WAY too hairy. I have never found it particularly attractive. Hairy backs? "UGH,,,me Cheeta"

At 6:15 PM, Blogger Alice said...

oh man, i felt so bad one time... i had been on a couple of dates with a guy, and he had just made me dinner at his house, and i started telling what i thought was a funny story about some guy on my freshman hall with a RUG on his chest AND his back, who walked around shirtless winking at girls, clearly thinking he was hot stuff... and then my date gets all quiet, and looks sad, and revealed that he too was an uberhairy man. doh. oops.

At 11:28 PM, Blogger Wombat & Aspen said...

Thank YOU! We women need to get the word out.


At 6:35 AM, Blogger Joe said...

HAHAHAHA! I bet you saw quite a few gross things on your quest for this picture. In my opinion, this picture makes me barf. But that's because I agree with you. To trim is to look nice. However, a nicely trimmed chest with some hair on it is pretty nice too.

Austin Powers has a chest that I like to call HORK!

Have a good day m'lady!

At 8:39 AM, Blogger EB72 said...

Wow April - way to go! I was there a whole year (okay, a whole year minus the four months they shipped me out to the desert) and I never got to see Woz's chest. That's it, I am going to email him right now and tell him he is to drive up here immediately just to give me a gander! ;-)

It's just like Bob-a-lob to bring up these subjects. Don't you now see why I had to **hand pick** you for them???


Yes, really. Tell Woz I wanna see.

At 10:12 AM, Blogger ocg said...

Hairless is for sure the best...

Thank you for your public service announcement.

At 10:22 AM, Blogger Cty said...

Despite the horrors I'm sure you had to see to find that photo, I am SO glad you did. Never before have I seen a pic that so eloquently illustrates the phrase: "a picture is worth 1000 words."

At 10:32 AM, Blogger Dirk the Feeble said...

So would you prefer a guy with a hairy back or a hairy ass?

At 11:13 AM, Blogger appsdshell said...

No Jacob. The hair on the back and ass MUST, and I repeat, MUST be either shaved or waxed!

At 2:17 PM, Blogger guest said...

I followed the advice from a close platonic girl friend of mine about a year ago. She told me to shave that jungle growth down below my waistline. Not the stuff directly beneath the belly button, but lower. Oh hel.... she recommended that I shave my balls ok! It was the best advice I ever received. My lady LOVES to touch me and give me pleasure there now. I guess she never had the courage to tell me that herself.

Do it guys. Your women will love you for it.

At 2:30 PM, Blogger appsdshell said...

Yes she will! :-)

At 6:33 AM, Blogger introspectre said...

Interesting post, that. I saw a guy the other day that had what looked like an afro on his legs. He was jogging, and had on those little jogging shirts, you know? So I saw the afro get thicker higher up his legs and could only conclude that his penis was probably lost in a hair jungle.
Now, I've never seen anyone whose leg hair bothered me but this guys did. I was actually offended by looking at him, and it surprised me. I felt like, "This guy is too hairy! He shouldn't be allowed to wear shorts!" and then was shocked at how nuts that sounded.

Hairy backs? Never dated one. Trimmed pubes? Very nice.

And guys- it WILL get you more blow jobs. Yes it will.


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