.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

THE WORLD THROUGH MY EYES

You may see things differently, but this is how I view my life.

8/23/2005

HOLY MOTHER OF FUCKING SHIT, THAT HURTS!

The other day I got a waxing kit, intending to wax some of the hair growth that has formed on David's back for our upcoming trip to Laughlin, and to clean up my eyebrows. So last night I get the bright idea of waxing my bikini area. I've never waxed it before, I just shave it all off usually, but I hate that the next day, it's like sandpaper! David calls it the 24 hour shadow. The box said that it's supposed to last up to 8 weeks. I would be happy if it lasted for a week!

I made sure to buy the "Ouchless" wax, which special "soothing" ingredients for sensitive skin. Ouchless my ass! I'm totally considering suing Sally Hansen for false advertising. I'm surprised my entire condo complex didn't call the cops for how loud I screamed when I pulled the strip. It literally felt as though someone was ripping my skin off of me! The last time I felt pain like that, was when I was giving birth. Oh wait, I take that back, giving birth wasn't that painful! (I had the best drugs in the world for that).

After I ripped the strip off of my bikini area, immediately you can see the blood rushing to the surface, and I immediately thought, "I just totally injured myself, BAD"! Tears came rushing to my eyes and David came to see if I was ok. Then he looked down and said "And you want to do that to my back! That looks dangerous!"

Luckily I was smart enough to do it 2 weeks before I HAVE to get into a bathing suit for Laughlin, so my poor skin has time to heal. It looks like I have a long blood blister on my bikini area. I only did one side, because like hell if I'm going to do the other, AND I can still feel hair! Most of it is gone, but it didn't get it all. I'm pissed!

So tell me what experiences have you had with bikini waxing?

17 Comments:

At 2:49 PM, Blogger EB72 said...

I waxed for a couple of years - bikini and legs.
I loved the results.

I strictly followed these rules:

1. Go to a professional (it's worth it)
2. Two Aleve at least one hour before appointment.
3. Loads of water for two days beforehand.
4. Never within a week of "that time of the month".
5. Never use the DIY kits - esp. the sugar ones.
ouchie ouch ouch!

 
At 5:59 PM, Blogger Van! said...

It never would have hurt if I did it..however, I would have VANdalized you... :-)

 
At 6:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 6:21 PM, Blogger Anna Mason said...

ouch. that had to hurt. made me cringe reading it.

 
At 6:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 7:02 PM, Blogger mal said...

after one experience with it during my misspent youth, I decided I would wax the furniture, the car and forget about doing the old bod. As much as I tried, I just haven't been able to get into the whole S&M thing. Bikini area? I cringe just thinking about it

 
At 7:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 12:54 AM, Blogger stinkerbelle said...

ouch! never tried it and after reading this i never will.

ps - what's with all the spam in your comments suddenly?

 
At 8:33 AM, Blogger Dirk the Feeble said...

Well I have had no experience with bikini waxing myself but reading this did make me feel like crossing my legs. Ugh.

 
At 9:25 AM, Blogger appsdshell said...

I swear, if I could actually find the person who sends SPAM, I would SPAM the shit out of them until their server blew up!

 
At 11:14 AM, Blogger ocg said...

Pay for someone else to do it. It makes it easier when you aren't brutalizing yourself.

 
At 12:28 PM, Blogger The Zombie Lama said...

OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW

 
At 2:18 PM, Blogger Truble said...

Stay with the shaving... sucks for the next two days - but worth it.... or have it Alased (or is that only on the East Coast?) http://www.getalased.com/

 
At 4:28 PM, Blogger Monty Loree said...

I hate to get a laugh at somebody elses expense. But..that was by far the best laugh of the day.

I'll have to remember the quote, "HOLY MOTHER OF FUCKING SHIT" hilarious.

 
At 9:50 AM, Blogger Rico said...

April, I saw the title and I had to read on. I am now sitting in my chair wincing at the thought of what that pain might have felt like. OWE!

I used to have my ex (or should I say my ex made me) wax the upper part of my back. It sucked, but I'm ready for it again. Sorry, TMI...

 
At 12:11 PM, Anonymous julie said...

The trick is BABY POWDER! dust a little on before putting the strip on!! or as they said, professional...but baby powder works as well...i dont wax though so i dont have any more expertise on that...haha..good luck chickie...

 
At 9:30 AM, Blogger Amber said...

Um, the one time my friend and I tried to do a home waxing, it was like an episode of "I Love Lucy." Oh, the hijinks. And the pain. And the wax I kicked and spilled all over my foot. Fun times

 

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home