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You may see things differently, but this is how I view my life.



This is my Grandpa. Explains a lot doesn't it?

We are going to celebrate his 85th Birthday this Saturday. It's going to be a very large party and all of his friends that are still alive are invited. Of course we can't invite the dead ones.

Anyways.... We are planning to Roast my Grandpa. Me, my sister and two of my cousins are going to be "in" on the Roasting. (Why the hell do they call it "Roasting" anyways)? And I'm writing the script. Obviously by this picture the old guy has a very good sence of humor. In fact, he has his own standup act and a CD that my dad made of him preforming all of his jokes. It's actually pretty good. I've been listening to this CD for the past week, trying to get ideas on the roasting.

This is probally one of the hardest things to do, because it HAS to be funny. I have my own wit and humor, but by no means am I a joke writer. It takes a special person to be able to write good jokes, and I just don't have it in me.

The theme that I came up with for the roast is "What Grandpa Taught Us" and I'm going to incorporate Grandpa's jokes into it.

Here's an example of one of my Grandpa's jokes:

My buddy comes into the bar and he has two black eyes. I say to him "What the hell happened to you"?

He says "Well, I was at Church on Sunday and this very large woman was sitting in the pew right in front of me. When she stood up, I noticed that her dress was tucked into her crack. Being the good guy that I am, I reached over and pulled it out for her. She then turned around and socked me right in the eye".

"Yes but how'd you get the other black eye"?

"I tucked it back in"

That is one of the 35 + jokes that my grandpa has told over the years. All of his buddies and all of the family know most of his jokes and have heard them over and over and over again throughout the years.

Here will be my version of the joke:

Grandpa has taught us about manners. He taught us that when we're at church, it isn't polite to help out the large lady who is sitting in front of us by pulling her dress out of her butt crack. (Pause) We also know it isn't polite to tuck it back in.

Hopefully, it will go off smooth and the audience will laugh. I just hope I don't get nervous and choke. It's a lot easier for me to perform in front of strangers because hopefully if you suck, you never have to see these people ever again.


At 10:48 AM, Blogger Dirk the Feeble said...

The Roast of Grandpa . . . you should see if you can get that put on Comedy Central or something.

At 12:00 PM, Blogger EB72 said...

Your grandpa is COOL.

At 2:53 PM, Blogger Romeo Jensen said...

LOL looooove ur gramps...

now re your comment to me

"Guess what Romeo, you're reverse psychology super powers failed on me as well. I'm just glad you didn't post that before I got my ring. Now the man is trapped and doomed by a promise to (gasp) marry me."

He is One Very Very Veeeeeeery Fortuante man!!!


At 6:46 PM, Blogger mal said...

I really like Gramps hat! I am going to get my Dad one like that for Christmas!!

Have fun with party, it should be a great time

At 7:14 PM, Blogger The Brunette said...

Have a drink or 4 before hand, and you'll do great!!

We're celebrating an 80th birthday this weekend, but the old man isn't quite as cool as your Grandpa...won't be any roasting :-(

Good luck, we want details!!

At 9:03 AM, Blogger Amber said...

First of all, I loved the part about not inviting the dead friends. I'mnot sure why I found it so funny, but I did.

Secondly, whenever I have to sing in front of people at an event like this (you know, full of old people) I just figure that no matter if I screw up or not, they'll still love me just because I'm up there. Same for you.

You'll do great!

At 9:59 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

that grandpa is a funny man. You will be even funnier.


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