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THE WORLD THROUGH MY EYES

You may see things differently, but this is how I view my life.

10/31/2005

OOMPA LOOMPA DIPETY DO

The moment you've all been waiting for.....

David's payback from making him dress up in a hotpink leopard print caveman costume last year....

Here's what I look like, as an Oompa Loompa.....


And that's David as Willy Wonka. Only I like to call him Willy Wanka.

We went to 2 parties that were an hour from each other. I lost my buzz from the first party by the time we got to the second. But I made sure to make up for that lost hour of drinking. After making a brief appearance at that party, we headed back to the first party. This is the party I go to every year and it's always a ton of fun. I made sure to take a drink to go this time, so that I didn't lose my buzz. David was the designated, because that was the only way I'd agree to go to the other party.

Tonight, David is going to Orange County to take DJ trick-or-treating. There's NO WAY possible I could leave work early enough to go with them, since I've only been at my new job for 3 weeks. So I'm taking the kids, with one of my neighbors trick-or-treating around our neighborhood, and hopefully we can get back home in time to pass out some candy to the late comers. My son is dressing up as Dracula and my daughter is dressing as a Witch. Pretty traditional, but that's what they wanted.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!


10/28/2005

ER'BODY IN THE CLUB GETTIN TIPSEY

Last night was David’s networking group’s wine tasting event in Del Mar. That’s right…Wine Tasting! Plus, I am officially in the “biz” now, and just got my new business cards yesterday, just in time.

I arrived about 15 minutes before David got there, and was greeted so cheerfully by some of the girls that I have met from previous events. They really are an awesome group. I was led straight to the wine, and they weren’t stingy on the servings of wine. If you’ve ever gone to a true wine tasting, they just give you a gulp of wine usually. Well, this place filled your glass! Now that’s what I’m talking about.

I barely saw David the entire time, since I was busy meeting new people and catching up with others that I’ve met before. I gave away all of my business cards and collected a ton, most of which I’ll probably never use, but it was fun to actually be part of the group.

After a few glasses of wine, I was feeling pretty good. Then I came across this guy who does all of the marketing material for the group, he was pretty tipsy himself, then he had the bright idea that we should do tequila shots. Even though I knew better, the peer pressure got the best of me, and I gave in. Well, everybody else was doing it!

After the tequila, I decided upon my better judgment, that it’s time to start drinking water. After all, it was after 8, and I told my neighbors that I’d be picking up the kids between 8:30 and 9. I told David that it would be best if he drove me home and took me to get my car in the morning, even though it will be a huge inconvenience on his part, but it will be an even bigger inconvenience for me to get a DUI.

We picked the kids up at 9:30, however I called them and let them know that we were running late, but on our way. We arrived home and the kids had been taken out to pizza and had a bag full of candy and prizes. I told them next time, they can babysit me, if I get to go out for pizza and get bags full of candy and prizes! They are like the best babysitters in the world!

They were playing Charlie and The Chocolate Factory when we walked in, and the funny part about that is I am going as an Oompa Loompa for Halloween as payback from the costume I made David wear last year. Of course David is going to be Willy Wanka. Oops, I mean Willy Wonka. Only he’s going to be the Johnny Depp version of Willy Wonka and I’m going to be an OG Oompa Loompa, Yes I will be totally humiliated and want to hide in that costume, but I’m trying to be a good sport about it, because now it’s ON! David is going to look so cute in his pink slutty bunny costume next year.

10/26/2005

FEEL LIKE MAKIN' LOVE

Monday night, I wanted to make love, however neither of us were really up to it, and David hasn’t really been feeling good, and I’ve been to the point of utter exhaustion by the time 9:00 rolls around. My head hits the pillow and I’m out for the count. BUT to me, making love to my man is VERY important. And the fact that I always attack him, is one of the many things he loves about me, and brags to his friends about. Of course they all think once we’re married, it’ll stop. I feel that as long as our relationship stays at this level of trust, respect, and love, I can’t see why it would ever stop. We have the key elements that make a healthy lasting relationship.

So Monday night, David comes to bed with me, just so we can make love, turns on the TV, and then starts laughing at America’s Funniest Videos. I’m naked, laying next to him, expecting him to do SOMETHING and at the same time, he’s expecting me to make the moves. Of course I get a little bent, and turn over and act like I’m going to fall asleep. He then exclaims that if I want it I have to take it. (Because I have the man so spoiled that’s what he’s used to). I then inform him that it’s kind of hard to “take it” when he’s more involved with Americas Funniest Videos than he is me, and I’m tired and need a little more help.

He turned off the TV, got up, put on his shorts and left the room with the lights still on. However, he closed the door. Now I’m really pissed because the lights are on, I didn’t get any, and I have to get up and turn them the lights off. I was more pissed about having to get up and turn off the light, than not getting some, just because I was so flippen tired. He came back in the room after hearing me yell at him to turn off the light. And like the good boy that he is, he turned off the light, got naked and climbed into bed with me and made the best love to me. He’s really lucky he gave it up, or else he would have me to reckon with the next day when I was all rested.
Last night, he put me to bed and the intensity of our love making sessions has been absolutely incredible the past two nights. The passion has been so intense, it’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before. The way he kisses me, the way he touches me and the way he moves in me, ever so softly, and with a slowness that leaves me begging for more. To me, the hugest turn-on is being teased with his dick. I can’t even express how hot that gets me. I can’t wait for more tonight!

The way he's been looking at me lately, is like he's found this new or deeper love for me and it's awesome!

10/24/2005

SICK WEEKEND

I’ve definitely had better weekends. Friday, I finished up my New Employee Orientation in LA, which was a total bore, however, I did learn some stuff, so it wasn’t a total waste, and the food was really good, I left LA at 5, made it to Orange County to pick up DJ (David’s son) by 7, and got home around 8:30. DJ was sick. So before we got home, I stopped at the store to pick up a few things and get him some medicine. As I was looking for what I wanted to get him, he stated that he can only take non-flavored medicine because the flavored kind makes him throw up. All children’s medicine is flavored! So I immediately called his mom to find out what she gives him. Of course she didn’t answer, so I left her a voice mail, and told him he’s going to take what I give him.

As soon as I got home, she called me back and told me to tell him that he’s going to take what I give him, because she said. Then she told me that he makes himself throw up because he doesn’t like the way it tastes. GREAT! She did offer to pick him up, but I told her that I’m a mom too and can totally take care of it.

He took the medicine I bought, with mucho hesitation Friday night. He woke up Saturday morning with a fever and coughing his poor little head off, gagging with his head in the toilet, refusing to take the medicine. I left David to take care of the situation while I went back to the store and purchased more medicine. I got chewable children’s Tylenol and chewable Motrin, and the Triamenic strips for his cough and runny nose, hoping that he would take any of it.

I got home and immediately gave him the Tylenol to help bring down his fever. David had a wet washcloth in his head. Luckily, DJ didn’t think the Tylenol tasted too bad and took it with very little trouble. Within an hour, his fever was down, and it stayed down for the rest of Saturday and Sunday. Thank God!
Of course David isn’t feeling well either, and spent the weekend on the couch. Since I hadn’t seen him for a couple days, I spent the time I wasn’t taking care of DJ and my own kids, attacking David and smothering him with love. It’s hard to get it on with 3 kids in the house, so of course we waited until they were in bed and sound asleep. I hate having to be quiet, but what can you do when you have little ears in the house that you want to keep innocent for as long as possible?

10/21/2005

TRAINING IN LA

I've been in New Employee Training for the past 2 days. Luckily they gave us computers to use for today, however, the computer training that I'm receiving is boring as hell and I already am famliar with what is being taught. YAWN! Sill waiting for something I don't know.

Since I'm in LA, I had my cousin come visit me last night and we went to dinner and ordered a bottle of wine, plus had a few beers. We had so much fun talking about old times and about when we were kids and how she made me french kiss the neighbor when I was 7. Of course I looked up to her and wanted to make her happy, so I did what she said. So because of her, I french kissed at the age of 7. sick!

Can't wait to get home tonight and see David. Since I'm in LA it's going to take me around 3 hours to get home because traffic is going to suck big hairy balls. I'm stopping in OC to pick up DJ to save David from the trip.
Have a great weekend!

10/18/2005

FINALLY GETTIN' SOME

David is finally back! He was gone for 6 whole freakin days and lemme tell you, it wasn’t easy going that long without him or without sex. It took me a whole 10 minutes to jump his bones. It helped that as soon as I hugged him, I purposely rubbed up against him and could feel that he was just as excited to see me.

I told the kids to go clean their room. Then acted as if I was going in my room to change and made David come with me. I locked the door behind him and threw his ass on the bed and immediately pounced on him. It was the most incredible feeling to feel him again. Then we went at it again as soon as the kids went to bed. I feel much better now.

The job is going great. I really love it so far. They are sending me to LA for two days for new employee orientation. I’m leaving Wednesday night and coming home Friday night. Not really all that excited about leaving David now that I just got him back, but I have to go. David will have to take care of the kids all by himself. That should be interesting, but I’m sure he’ll do just fine, and call me a bunch.
Now that David is home, hopefully he’ll have the laptop set up tonight so I can catch up on reading all my favorite blogs. Take care.

10/16/2005

WHAT A WEEK!

I started my new job on Monday. Well, kind of. I was sent home sick. I went in and couldn't even talk, so I got sent home. She told me to rest because we were going to have a very busy day on Tuesday. I went home and slept for most of the day.

David left on Tuesday to go to the Jet Ski races with his buddies and has been gone all week. I wasn't happy about the trip because it was just the worst timing in the world. Here I start my new job and I have the kids to worry about if I'm going to be able to get them in time because the HAVE to be picked up by 6 and they are in two different locations. I was sick on top of that, and he's leaving me! They plan this trip every year for Boys Week. Whatever. David also took the laptop from home leaving me without a computer, which is why I haven't been able to blog all week. I'm too scared to blog from work, since where I'm situated, anyone could walk behind me and see that I don't have work on my monitor.

Anyways, so my weeks been extremely hectic getting up at the ass crack of dawn (5:30 ish), dropping off Collin at before school care, dropping off Bre at school and sitting in traffic for an hour, barely making it to work by 8 am. Then working all day, feeling like shit, and sitting in more traffic and barely making it back in time to get the kids picked up. Unfortunately my backup was on vacation. I knew my neighbors would help me out if I really needed them to, but that resource was in Jamaica for 9 days. And my other neighbor doesn't get off work until 6, so she's no help. But, I did it all on my own, and I'm finally starting to not feel sick anymore.

Since David was gone this weekend, I came home to visit my family and friends. I spent the night at Jenill and Joey's last night. A little piece of advise, if you over at their house, make your own drinks. Two of their drinks and you'll be puking your guts out praying to the porcelain God. I knew they were strong, but I hit that wall where I suddenly had no control of my actions and temporary memory loss. For example:

I guess I talked to my sister last night about her date. I don't remember doing this. I called her this morning to see how the date went and she was like "You're joking right? We already had that conversation". So I sat there and thought about it for a minute and couldn't bring that information from my memory bank to surface. It's lost. I made her retell me what happened, and she gave me the version of me making fun of the poor guy for having a fucked up front grill.

Luckily, one of Joey's friends also spent the night, and was able to assist me with my puking. Jenill and Joey both slept through the ordeal. I don't know if I was even nice about giving orders to Joey's friend, but he brought me paper towels and water anyways. It would have been nice if I had my hair clip, but I was able to manage from getting puke in my hair without it.

I haven't had a chance to keep up with anyone's blogs, hopefully, after I'm done having marathon sex with David, (this is the longest we've gone without having sex) I'll get some time to do that. I miss everyone and I'll be commenting on your blogs soon!

ciao!

10/10/2005

SENT HOME ON MY FIRST DAY

Woke up at 5:45

Left the house at 7

Dropped both kids off at school

Got to work at 8

She sent me home because I barely have a voice

THAT SUCKS!!!!

She said..... "If you're sick, we don't want you here". Only she was really nice about it and even added "You look really nice".

I said...... "I couldn't call in on my first day".

Then she told me what she had planned for the day and how we were going on a landscape walk, and she was going to take me around to all the other properties and after lunch she was going to have me sit with one of the other girls so she can show me some basic stuff I need to know.

Tomorrow we're having coffee with the tenants in the morning.

I'm so exctied to begin my new career and just my luck I get sick.

I woke up yesterday morning and my voice was barely a squeek. But I had a birthday party to throw together and a large group of people were arriving around 2 and a million things to do. I don't have time to be sick.

Collin's birthday party was great. There were more people than I expected, and Collin made out like a bandit. Of course his Dad didn't show. But his Nana and Papa did.

I was exhausted by the time everyone went home and took a nap from 6 pm to 7:30. David was a sweetheart and ordered Pizza, so I didn't have to cook. I had Soup. If I'm skipping Pizza for Soup then you KNOW I'm sick.

Now, I'm going to take some meds, drink some hot green tea and rest for tomorrow.

10/07/2005

OUTTA HERE

Today is my last day here and I couldn't be more excited to start my new career on Monday. The only thing I'm dreading is getting up at 5:30 am every morning. That part does not excite me at all. I am NOT a morning person by any means. But, you gotta do whatcha gotta do.

And David is going away next week for 5 days, and I'm extremely nervous about being able to pick up the kids in time. Hopefully, my mom will be able to help me out and come stay with me for a few days. I was going to ask my neighbor if she could at least pick up my daughter for me, but she left on vacation yesterday and is going to be gone for 9 days. So, I'm basically screwed if there's any traffic coming home, and there will be.

David's like..."Just talk to your boss and tell her you'll make up the time next week". I'm all..."HELLLLOOOOOO, not a good thing to ask for on your first week!"

I wish he just wouldn't go! As if that's going to happen.

Sunday is Collin's birthday party. I'm wondering if my ex will show up. If he doesn't he's an even bigger ass than I thought he was.

Have a great weekend!

10/06/2005

I GIVE UP for now

Being the nice mom that I am, I told my son last night that his father had called the night before to wish him a happy birthday, but he was sleeping and I didn't want to wake him up. Then I asked him if he'd like to call his dad.

Of course he did. You should of seen the look on his face when he found out his dad had called, and the tears welling up in his eyes.

I found Fuckheads number in my cell and pressed send and handed the phone to my son. Of course it went straight to voicemail, so Collin left the sweetest message on Fuckheads voicemail that made my eyes well up with tears..

"Hi Dad, I'm calling you back. I guess your busy. I love you so so so so much."

Then he added a bunch of kisses.

You would think after hearing a message like the the fucker would call back.

Well, he didn't.

It breaks my heart. And as a mother, I want to make his father have an active part in my kids life, because I can see the hurt it's causing for him not to be there.

Fortunately, I don't know what its like, because my parents have been married for 32 years, and my grandparents were married for over 55 years. But I am seeing it first hand, and it really sucks because it doesn't have to be this way.

Yesterday I wrote an email to my ex's girlfriend. I befriended her when Fuckhead was missing and she's the one I went to Laughlin with when I met David. She knows about most of the stuff Fuckhead pulled when we were married, and about all the lies, and all of the shit he pulled after I left him, but yet she still wants to be with him. I think she's one of those people who feels the need to "save" somebody.

Well, I've got news for you sister, you can't "save" him, you can't change him. He is who he is, and he's FUCKED UP! As long as you are with him, you will have nothing. You will have to continually bail him out of his scams. The man is thousand and thousands and thousands of dollars in debt, and only a miracle of winning the lottery will get him out of it. He is an alcholoic and will always put alcohol before you, before his kids and before himself. Alcoholics are extremely selfish, and are liars. Hopefully it won't take you 8 years to leave him, like it did me.

Because I know this, I guess you can say it makes it easier on me to not try to figure out why he doesn't call the kids, why he doesn't help support them. I knew this would happen. But the kids don't know this, however my daughter is starting to figure him out.

I told my daughter yesterday that her dad had called to wish Collin a happy birthday last night but it was after they had gone to bed. She said to me "What excuse did he use this time, because I know he always has an excuse". Obviously, she's learning.

COMMUNICATION 101

I've always told my friends and family that if David and I ever have any problems, communication is going to be it. And I was right.

Lately, David and I have had a few "disagreement" due to his inability to fully explain what he means, and me having to try to fill in the blanks or suddenly become a mind reader. I am not a mind reader. In fact, what woman can actually read a mans mind unless he's staring at her boobs and has a hard on, I think that one speaks for it's self.

Let me further explain:

Example #1: David is planning a boys trip to Havasu and is leaving next week. He originally told me he was leaving on the 25th. Which I wasn't exactly happy about, but delt. Anyways, then he tells me, oh I think we're leaving on the 18th. In which I really wasn't happy about, because I was informed by my new employer that I will have to go to LA for 2 days of training and will be put up in a hotel that week. Who's going to take care of the kids????? We got into it about that a little, so I called my mom and she agreed to come and take care of the kids for me while I'm in training.

A few days pass and I'm leaving for work and David is on the phone with "one of the guys". I receive a call from David shortly after, and he told me that he's actually leaving on the 11th instead, he got the dates wrong. This is my first week at my new job. I don' t know if I'm going to be able to get home in time to pick the kids up by 6, and I need him more than ever, and he's leaving on the SAME WEEK I START MY NEW JOB!

Needless to say, I am NOT happy about this. It's just NOT good timing. I called my mom, and she just might be able to come stay with me and the kids when David is gone, just for back up.

Oh did I mention, David will be in Havasu for 5 days!?

Really not happy about that. Especially when last year he told me I could go. But now that we're engaged, etc. I can't go. But I couldn't go even if I wanted to with the new job and with the kids in school. He said next year, all the wives are invited. Yah we'll see.

Example #2: I help David out with flyers for his networking group. Well, he wants to send the flyer along with a map and sponsorship flyer as a mass email. He sends me the documents with these instructions:

Here Hun,
Hook it up like the golf one were the attachments are at the top. The sheets will be open and I can put a message.


HUH???? First of all, you can't have 3 separate attachments open in one document. You have to make them one document for them to be open. And the "golf one" I did 6 months ago, as one document, I didn't have 3 documents to work off of.

So I basically told him his instructions sucked and I didn't understand exactly what he wanted. The problem is, he didn't know either, and became frustrated with me because I didn't remember what the "golf one" was from 6 months ago. And I was frustrated with him for not knowing or explaining what he wanted.

Something similar happened like this last time he asked me to do something for his networking group, because I didn't understand exactly what he wanted and his directions weren't clear and I guess maybe I didn't ask him in the nicest way what he wanted. I guess when it comes to designing things, he's clueless and I just have to realize that and do what I think is right, because he's always happy with the outcome. It's just getting there that's the hard part.

See, our relationship isn't exactly PERFECT. Hopefully, these kind of things will be the biggest issues we have.

10/05/2005

TRUTH..NO DARE

Have you ever…..??
(X) Smoked a joint
( ) Done cocaine
(X) Been in love .. STILL AM
(X) Been dumped – I THINK SO
(X) Shoplifted
(X) Been fired
(X) Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back - MY FRESHMEN YEAR OF HIGHSCHOOL
( ) Been arrested
(X) Made out with a stranger
(X) Gone on a blind date
(X) Lied to a friend
( ) Had a crush on a teacher
( ) Been to Europe
( ) Seen someone die - ALMOST, I LEFT THE ROOM
( ) Been to Canada
(X) Been to Mexico
(X ) Thrown up in a bar
( ) Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
( ) Purposely set a part of yourself on fire
(X ) Been snowboarding
(X) Met a celebrity - SEVERAL
(X) Met someone from the internet in person - SEVERAL, INCLUDING EB72
( ) Been moshing at a concert
( ) Gone backstage at a concert
(X) Laid outside in the grass and watched cloud shapes go by
(X) Made a snow angel
(X) Flown a kite (
(X) Cheated while playing a game
(X) Been lonely
(X) Fallen asleep at work - AT LUNCH IN THE CONFERENCE ROOM
(X) Fallen asleep at school - I TOOK NAPS DAILY
(X) Used a fake ID
(X) Been kicked out of a bar - RUM JUNGLE IN VEGAS ESCORTED THOUGH THE BACK...HEEHEE
(X) Felt an earthquake - HELLOOOOOO, I LIVE IN CALIFORNIA
(X) Touched a snake … USED TO OWN ONE
( ) Read “War and Peace”
(X) Slept beneath the stars
( ) Been robbed
(X) Won a contest
(X) Run a red light
(X) Been suspended from school - FOR FIGHTING
( ) Had braces
(X) Felt like an outcast
( ) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(X) Had déjà vu
(X) Totaled a car - THREE
( ) Stolen a car
(X) Hated the way you look
( ) Witnessed a crime
(X) Been to a strip club
( ) Been to the opposite side of the world
(X) Swam in the ocean
( ) Felt like dying
(X) Cried yourself to sleep
(X) Sung karaoke - I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE KARAOKE
(X) Paid for a meal with only coins - AT DEL TACO OR TACO BELL
(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(X) Made prank phone calls
(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
(X) Been kissed under the mistletoe
( ) Had a bonfire on the beach
( ) Crashed a party
( ) Seen a tornado
(X) Had a wish come true
( ) Gone bungee jumping - I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO THOUGH
( ) Gone parasailing
( ) Gone sky diving
(X) Screamed in public --on a roller coaster
(X) Told a complete stranger you loved them - I WAS VERY DRUNK AT THE TIME
(X) Had a one night stand
(X) Kissed a mirror
(X) Had a dream that you married someone
( ) Gotten your fingers stuck together with super glue
( ) Been a cheerleader
(X) Sat on a roof top
(X) Talked on the phone for more than 6 hours straight
(X) Stayed up all night
(X ) Not taken a shower for three days – CAMPING
( ) Made contact with a ghost while playing a Ouija board
(X) Had more than 30 pairs of shoes at a time
( ) Gone streaking
(X) Been skinny dipping
(X) Been pushed into a pool/lake with all your clothes on
(X) Had sex in a public or semi-public place
(X) Been kissed by a complete stranger
( ) Broken a bone
( ) Caught a butterfly
(X) Mooned/flashed
(X) Had someone moon/flash you
(X) Cheated on a test
(X) Forgotten someone's name - HAPPENS ALL THE TIME
(X) Slept naked - EVERYDAY
(X) Gone white water rafting
( ) Seen the Grand Canyon

CAN'T EVEN MAKE A PHONE CALL

You would think that since yesterday was Collin's birthday, he would of at least received a call from his dad right???

At 11:00 pm my phone rings.

It was him.

I answer, and I'm not happy.

He starts telling me that he was working all day and left his phone at home.

I'm sorry, for one, I' m sure he could of found a phone somewhere.

Two, HE'S WORKING??? Then why the hell can't he help support the kids?

I just let him know, it was too late and I wasn't going to wake up Collin because his dad forgot to call earlier.

He then started screaming at me, so I hung up and he called back, so I turned off my phone.

Fuck that pieceofshit asshole cumsucking goodfornothing motherfucker.

Can you tell, I'm a little pissed?

10/04/2005

INVITED

The world works in mysterious ways. I received a call at 4:45 pm yesterday from my neighbor inviting me to get a pedicure with her and the other neighbor. What's the word where you talk about something and then it happens? I don't know, but how strange huh?

Of course I accepted, even though it's only been about a week since my last pedicure, but a girl can never have too many pedicures right?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY LITTLE BOY

7 years ago, at 7:30 am I walked (or ummm wobbled) into the maternity ward of the hospital where I was scheduled to be endused. I found a group of bored nurses waiting eagerly for their next patient. I was pleased to see one of the nurses, Suda (yes I still remember her name) and as soon as she saw me she said "She's MINE!"

I had Suda as my nurse just 3 months earlier when I was admitted to the hospital for a really bad kidney infection. She was an AWESOME nurse. Very caring and I just loved her.

Suda walked me into my room and immediately went to work hooking me up to the I.V.'s. By 11:30 am, my healthy little baby boy was born.

He has been such a joy in my life, and I couldn't imagine my world without him.



HAPPY 7TH BIRTHDAY COLLIN! YOU ROCK!

10/03/2005

LEFT OUT

Friday night with David was one of the funnest nights we've had together in a long time. After I dropped the kids off, I came home and we had Sushi and wine. Then we had a few Hurricanes and got our buzz on. We were both feeling pretty playful and ended up having a water fight in bed, then had some really great sex. He was so dominating. I love it when he takes control and just flips me around and makes me do what he wants. It's so much fun.

Anyways..Saturday, our original plan was to clean house. We didn't get much done, but did at least accomplish some of it. Here comes the part in where I felt left out. I wanted to go to the mall and buy myself a new outfit for my job. David wanted to work on something in the garage, so I thought maybe my neighbor would go with me. I found out that her and my other neighbor (the one that I had the little tiff with) were out together, so I went shopping alone.

I was at the mall, and getting ready to leave, when I got a call from David. He was downstairs watching the fight with the guys (my neighbors boyfriend and the other one's husband) and wanted me to bring them all something to eat. I got the food and David met me outside to help me bring it in. I asked him where the girls were and he said they went to the bar but told me to hang out and have a beer.

Obviously I was hurt that they didn't invite me, so I just dropped off the food and went upstairs. They were trying to get me to stay, but I was actually very upset and didn't want to watch the fight or hang out with the "husbands" while their wife’s were out together.

David and I had originally made plans to watch some movies together Saturday night, but since the fight was on, and I knew he wanted to see it, I just went upstairs, by myself, ate my dinner and watched TV. David came home immediately after the fight was over and we talked about it. I was really upset. The problem is, I work with all men right now, so that makes it hard to have any "girl" friends. I was hoping to befriend my neighbors, but since our tiff, things have been different. They don't invite me over anymore and I know they party together all the time, because I can hear them. It just hurts to be excluded when I need friends now more than ever. All my friends live 2 hours away.

David and I watched the movie and went to bed. I was so upset I wasn't even in the mood to make love which sucks because there are only 4 days out of the month when we don't have the kids in the house and we can be as loud as we want to, and this was one of those nights and it was ruined.

Anyways, enough with my pity party. David, of course is so supportive and loving and tried his best to make me feel better, and told me he won't get his hair cut by the other neighbor anymore. I told him, I don't want it to look like it bothers me, and she does a good job, so he should continue to get his hair cut by her.

I'm not the type to call them and invite myself. I feel that if they make plans, and they want me along, then they will call me. Right?

WHAT TO DO

My son's birthday party is this coming Sunday, at my house. Here's the problem, and I know I've created it for myself, but I can't help how I feel....

I invited my ex-inlaws to the party. I've been contiplating on weather or not to invite my ex-husband and I know I should, and I will invite him, but GOD I don't want to.

I have to be the grown up here and do what's right for my son, because it's important for his dad to be at his birthday party, but it sucks because his dad doesn't help support his own children what-so-ever and I'm going to be paying 100% for the party, while he's in my house, eating the pizza and cake that I payed for.

I'm sure it sounds petty, but hell, I haven't receieved a dime from the asshole since November of 2003. Oh wait, I take that back, he paid for one of my daughters Jazzersize classes, which was $27.

You don't know how bad I want to call him and tell him that if he wants to come, he can pay for 1/2 of the party. I won't do it, but I want to soooooo freakin bad. I'm just trying to calm down enough to where I don't start yelling at him and saying all kind of shitty stuff to him for not calling the kids once since they've started school or calling me to see when the kids are coming out to visit or ANYTHING!!!!!!! He's lucky he has his mom, because if it weren't for her, I'm sure he wouldn't even see the kids at all.

OK my venting is over and I think I feel better, I'm going to call the asshole and tell him about the party.

After work.

Just in case.